Need Advice

[THEHITPACK]

I met this girl about 4 years ago we got on with each other pretty much instantly i really liked her and we struck up a semi realationship. She was 16 when i met her and i was 21 she also had a boyfriend i felt like my feelings for her were really strong i told her how i felt and was shot down i was ok with that because i had sex and hung out with other girls at the time. I've been in love before and i know this isn't it. I knew our personalities and were so similar and sometimes i look at her and can't help but laugh. I broke off contact with her for a couple of years and became depressed when we started speaking again i talked to her boyfriend and explained she was my mate etc, and that the only reason i never had sex with her was for his sake. I tried being friendly towards her a few months later when i asked her and lad out for a drink even though it was just casual i got mixed signals from her like we where just more than friends i really didn't care anymore and didn't speak to her again.

[THEHITPACK]

She just turned 21 the other day and i wished her happy birthday it was first contact i had with her for about 6 months. Seeing her again takes all my unhappyness and makes me feel complete. I want to be around her and be her friend although i know it isn't an option. I keep expecting her to tell me she loves me even though i know now it would never work out between us. I tried to get over her but the thought of her being with her boyfriend tears me up inside and my feelings for her have never changed. I want to meet someone else to get over her and am also having suicidal thoughts. My mates also seem to be on her boyfriends side. I just need some perspective on this because i dont know what to do?