Relationship issues? is this it?

[LdFilip]

ofc it does...you love him and he dissapointed you so much.

ask yourself...is it worth of being with somebody who is a an idiot for most of time and just waiting for some rare moments when hes nice?

[Togoru]

It's just confusing cause I've been with him for a year and a half and am now considering this all and how I'm realizing it hasn't been the best I thought. I mean before it felt perfect but ever since I'd say July it has seemed awkward or not exactly the same. Ever since his "I feel like we are drifting apart" like we patched that situation up but since it's seemed a little different and not the same as it once was. And the more things happen where i feel taken for granted, not appreciated, or disrespected it only makes I harder to bounce back to feeling the same way about him. It's like I want it to work, but I don't know if it's worth it. It didn't always seem so bad and yet I'm still in love though despite feeling different. I don't know what to do :/

[LdFilip]

well...you said that...its getting only worse...

[Togoru]

He said he got rid of all the images, when he panned through his pics the other day to show me other things on his phone it appeared everything was in fact deleted. But actually, yet only one still remains on there. Just an image from online of a pic of a woman walking and her jeans being so low her ass was half out. Idk if it was deliberately left or if when he deleted the whole bunch (like selecting them all) that one didnt check/delete... But I'd think the only one pic left was most likely deliberate. He kept all the images of me though. Although there is just that one image on his phone of that woman though. Hmmm.

[MaidenMinx]

She is wearing clothes! He probably doesn't think of it as porn.

The more you carry on the more insecure you appear...

[Togoru]

Well aside from her ass being pretty much totally exposed she does still have clothes on, and well it's far better compared to the other images he had along with it. I suppose when he gets bored looking at it he'd get rid of it anyway.

[MaidenMinx]

most likely.

[bcgirl]

am I the only one here that view porn as being a problem? Porn is so out of touch with reality, sex and what real women look like and act. Virgin Teenagers are growing up on this with the access of internet now a days of women who enjoy to be called "sluts" and enjoy anal with their bleached anuses and having sperm shot in their faces. Most girls don't have bleached anuses and fake boobs, sperm shot in the face gives absolutely no pleasure to the woman and most people don't like to be called a whore or slut. Anal is not as taboo as it was once upon a time, due to porn...it is actually expected. Can you honestly say it's okay and that you don't have a problem with your own boyfriend looking at other women naked in sexual positions when he has you? How about you download a pic of a guy with a 10 inch dick and make it your profile phone pic. We'll see how insecure he gets about the size of his own dick when he thinks you like a bigger package than his.

I'd like to hear more responses from a male's point of view of watching porn while having a girlfriend

[angelsnairwaves]

Did you know that he's always looked at porn? I guess it's just one of those things us girls should just assume men do- just being realistic. For me- I don't care if my boyfriend looks at porn as long as he's honest with me about it. Don't let it damage your self esteem. I think it's just a primitive, guy thing. I have girlfriends that look at porn and are in relationships as well. Yeah it's a little odd that it's on his phone but what's the difference if he looks at porn either way? Maybe he keeps it on his phone so he can take it to the bathroom at work to jerk off. Seriously. But yeah the way he acted about it is what would bother me most of all if I were you. It's not very respectful or considerate of your feelings. Maybe you need to make it more clear to him how much it bothers you. But if he doesnt want to change- which clearly it doesnt seem that way- then you will have to change your mind about it or consider ditching him. I think the real issue here that needs to be discussed is respect for your feelings.

[angelsnairwaves]

Also- I can feel for you because I went through a similar situation. My boyfriend is my first love and when I first saw the porn he watched it kind of bothered me but you do get over it and after a while those insecurities will go away when you realize how normal it is.

[IndiReloaded]

am I the only one here that view porn as being a problem? Porn is so out of touch with reality, sex and what real women look like and act. Virgin Teenagers are growing up on this with the access of internet now a days of women who enjoy to be called "sluts" and enjoy anal with their bleached anuses and having sperm shot in their faces. Most girls don't have bleached anuses and fake boobs, sperm shot in the face gives absolutely no pleasure to the woman and most people don't like to be called a whore or slut.

Is your only argument that porn is out of touch with reality? If so, then you also need to address Hollywood movies, Harlequin romance novels and Fox News.

How about girls that think their BFs should look like Brad Pitt, fight like Chuck Norris and be willing to die for them like the Titanic guy. There are easily as many girls that think like that as there are guys expecting a porn star GF.

I'm not a big pro-porn person. But I think what needs saying is that its for entertainment, not instruction.

[pisces25]

I'd like to hear more responses from a male's point of view of watching porn while having a girlfriend

There are PLENTY of threads on this forum about this issue.

I think you will find the general consensus from most guys is they watch it even if in a relationship but would not choose it over having sex with their GF and don't watch it when she is around (unless they watch together).

This issue will never be resolved. Porn has been around for hundreds of years it is just more accessible now. IMO if guys get used to porn and real sex doesn't feel as good for them then that is their problem and they can go ahead and live a long, lonely life whackin off to complete strangers. If they get addicted and are wise enough to cut down on it so they can enjoy real ladies then good on them. But as females, it is something we have to deal with. Your man might stop it if it is a serious threat to the relationship and you are unhappy about it but expect to hear the answer from all men that 'it is normal'. Not saying I agree or disagree with it, I have my opinions, but it is just the way it is. Thank the internet for it.

[alwaystryin]

I see all sides of this, and I do agree with bc girl in the respect that is so prevalent these days. Yes, men have always looked at porn. Boxes of your dad's playboys in the garage anyone? Our younger generations are growing up so easily exposed to it and we've got 14 and 15 year olds walking around like hoochie mama's.. aren't young people facing enough issues figuring out who they are without wondering if there assholes look ok???

ANYWAY, despite all that, the porn is not even the issue. It's just the catalyst that's forcing her to look back at her relationship with this guy and how he treats her. If he's normally dismissive when she brings up issues other than porn then he sounds like a jerk. On the other hand, maybe she's overly sensitive and insecure. Who knows? The point is it doesn't seem to be working.

I think you're on the right path because it's caused you to reflect on your history with him. And why do we all need to learn about history people??? Because it's a very good indicator of the future. If your history with him dictates that his insensitivity has been an ongoing issue, and being dismissive or lying is how he deals with issues, then it's something to weigh heavily in your decision to continue on with him. Or NOT. Personally? I would dump him.

My ex often watched porn. It never bothered me because at the time I was very secure in the relationship and he never hid it. And it certainly wasn't the cause of the end of our relationship. But at one point I did ask him what is up with all this? I mean we could have sex 5 times a day and he'd STILL watch it. And he actually turned around once and said yeah, right? I think there's something wrong with me, like I'm addicted. What's interesting though, is that access had a lot to do with it. If he didn't have a computer for a week, no porn. If he did? Every day. God help him if he ever had a smart phone he'd have probably been ducking into phone booths...

[bcgirl]

there is a difference between dad's stash of porn magazines and the accessibility to any type of porn imaginable with the click of a mouse. When once upon a time you'd have to be over 18 yrs old to walk into a sex shop or movie rental shop to buy/rent porno's and feel embarrassed, now anyone can look at porn without having to face embarrassment or getting asked for ID. There are 13 yr olds watching it on a daily basis with the access of internet on their PC's, Iphones, IPads etc. Back in the day porn used to leave a teenager with something to the imagination....teens never had much access to it, only when they stumble upon dad's stash or their friend's dad's stash. What once ruined a career out of celebrities who's had sex taped leaked out, in this generation you become famous if you have a sex tape. As adults we can understand the difference between fake and real women and sex. For a 13 yr old boy who is still trying to figure out their bodies and have the easy access to porn online may watch it on a daily basis to satisfy their huge sexual appetite at this age while their hormones are flowing....they may not lose their virginity until 17 or 18. Yet, they've watched tons of porn to "teach" them what real sex should be like. When they finally get with a girl, certain things like anal sex may not seem as glamourous as they show in porn. The girl may not be as "slutty" as he's seen many times in film. The young 13 yr old boy is getting a distorted view of sex and women long before he's actually gotten the chance to perform the real thing. Now you can argue that Disney movies that little girls watch portrays a distorted image of the perfect husband like prince charming.....this is true. Girls grow up to be women who seek for their prince charming.

[LdFilip]

you are all saying that its normal,natural,bla bla bla...but is normal to overdo it with porn?to love porn more then his own girlfriend?to treat her badly?...theres no excuse for it,no matter what you are saying...

she has a big problem...and when its like he say to her "get lost,im watching porn"what will you advise her?to get used to it cos iits just normal?...geez wake up guys >.<