First date edicate: who pays?

[Hookahmike]

if you want a more in depth description of the situation as a whole I have another thread "did I get my point across". Ive asked this girl out for dinner this weekend, after a bit of wundering if I got the point across that im asking her out (ser did I get my point across) we were scheaduling it and I say its on me, she asked if I was sure, of course I insisted my policy being first date guy pays, always, after that its a date by date basis. Her asking this has yet again made me question wether I got my point across, is there descussion as to who pays for the girst date?

[Hookahmike]

I think I lost what I wanted to know some where inbetween typing this doing work and txting her so...

[bcgirl]

well.... the person who asks the other person on the date should be the one who grabs the bill. A polite girl will say "oh, you don't need to pay". But as a gentleman, you'd say "yes, i asked YOU out on a date". Some women DO NOT want a guy paying for everything. Women now a days are very independent. So if you witness a girl who is very strict about helping to pay....allow her to do so and split the bill. She may just not want to feel like she "owes" a man something at the end of the night...if ya catch my drift.

[Cerby]

I pay for the first few dates without question, then after that if the girl offers to pay, I'll accept it. Otherwise I pay, but just make sure that I keep an eye on my date budget. Spend too much on the wrong girl and she'll start assuming you're always good for a free dinner.

[bcgirl]

If i really thought the date didn't go well and i never wanted another date with him... i'd pay for half. That is because I don't want the guy assuming the date went well because he paid for dinner and that it leads him to believe he will get another date. Therefore if it's half and half....everything is square, no one owes no one for anything.

[oldskool83]

i pay, its easier and less hassel, deciding the upfront before the date even happens just makes you look like a cheapass i feel. after a few dates if she offers to get you somthing or pay then you konw your golden. if you notice she is carless and orderes alot of expensive things then start going to cheaper places and see how she acts.

[bulrush]

I usually buy on the first date, because to the girl, it's romantic, but if the girl buys the first date, it's fine with me. I prefer an approach where each person gives something to the relationship. I'm fine with us alternating paying for dates.

[Superfantastich]

Most first dates end with a guy insisting, so I assume this is the norm

[bluesummer]

Most first dates I go (went) on the guy offers to pay and I insist on paying my half........I figure we're not close enough yet that we start buying each other stuff, that includes food. I did this to my husband on our first date and he looked really shocked that I wouldn't let him pay for me.

I think the ETIQUETTE (that's probably the word you're looking for) is the guy offers and you go from there. Just be wary if she lets you pay without offering to split.....it seems tacky and maybe a sign that she's a bit of a leech.

[Vegemite]

I would be surprised if a guy didn't offer/insist on paying for the first date. But not necessarily put off - if I thought it was because he was a rationalist who just thought (like me) that there's no reason the guy should have to pay just because "that's how it is" then I'd be totally fine with it. If I thought it was another reason I wouldn't dig it.

I would always offer to pay for myself on the first date... if he accepts or rejects I wouldn't care, BUT... I can't stand when a guy insists on paying for everything on every date. It's 2011, that's totally unnecessary and cheesy. Plus I don't want a guy who thinks he's being a good boyfriend just because he spends money on me

[vashti]

Whoever invites should pay in entirety for dinner. That is the proper etiquette. There is nothing wrong for the other person to offer to contribute, but they aren't obligated. The person who does the inviting should never ask for a date they can't afford.

That said, the last date I went on, he paid for dinner and the drinks. When he suggested we see a live show afterwards, I insisted on paying for the show tickets and a drink during the show. His portion cost more, but I don't care. I'm not 15 anymore, and I don't feel "obligated" to do anything I don't want.