need help getting over an ex

[NeedToGetOverIt]

hi. i wanted to know what kind of advice i could get for my issue. my ex-boyfriend and i had been going out for more than 5 years. in year 3 of your relationship, i found out he had been cheating on me with multiple girls here and there throughtout our relationship. of course being the naive and stupid girl that i was, i believed him when he said he would change and would never do it again. but of course, that didn't happen and he continued it, but i didn't find out until 5 months ago when i finally got the courage to break up with him and leave him for good. i thought i was doing a good job of getting over it but i recently found out that he already has a new girlfriend. i am having such a hard time dealing with this. why is it when i thought i was being so strong, am i all of a sudden depressed? how do i deal with trying to get over this? i keep thinking about it. i know time will heal but it's so hard right now. any words of advice??

[cycletease]

I am so sorry to hear your story. What a tough time to have committed 5 years to loving someone and have it end like this. There is nothing that anyone here can say that will be able to change the way you feel right now. Just know that all of us have had our hearts broken, even if in different ways, and we are all here to lend an ear.

I am proud of you for having the courage to break up with him and make a change that needed to happen in your life. That is a tremendous thing to do and you should pat yourself on the back for that every day. You have taken the hard part in stride, now you just have to reconcile your heart to it. You loved this guy, and no matter what he did your heart doesn't change with a snap of a finger. Of course you are hurt to hear that he is dating another girl, anyone would be. Are you kidding? I would have had a total breakdown (in private, of course). Your feelings are totally valid.

The thing is that loving someone and having that person be relationship worthy are totally different things. Women date and marry abusive men all the time. I am sure that if your guy was physically abusive you could look at the situation and know that he was bad for you. You have had that perspective in your more complicated situation of emotional abuse. You did good.

How do you deal? Just like the rest of us have. You post up on the forum when you are depressed. You go out with friends and pretend to have fun. You stop yourself from checking up on your ex in any form that you can. You have breakdowns and feel depressed whenever it hits you...and you will be ok. You will get through this, you will be ok. And although you know this intellectually, at some point your heart will stop aching. I promise you this. You did the right thing and I am proud of you. You are going to be fine.