Is my BF possibly Gay? Serious question. Is this normal?

[smexygirl89]

Well me and my current other half have been together for about 14 months. We spend alot of time together including work, home and even on the weekends as we have alot of the same interests and friends. Although we have the odd tiff we generally get along really well. We both seem to enjoy time spent with each other. Over the last year or so I did come across shemale porn on the computer history and also just the other week I found a black and pink corset/gstring set hidden away in the cupboard. Although this kind of worried me I just forgot about it and did not mention it. Our sex life is reasonably good... although he has only ever gone down on me about 5 times since we have been together. I give him head all the time... pretty much every time we have sex. Last time he went down on me was because i said until he started returning the favour i wouldnt be giving him head. He of course obliged but since hasnt bothered. We both got fairly drunk on the weekend and i said that i wanted to try new things and maybe get a little kinky. This was when he opened up to me saying how he gets so turned on by shemale porn, loves corsets and wants both me and him to wear them while having sex. Which he did that night. He also mentioned how he wants me to **** him with a strap on. We have had anal sex quite a few times in the past which we both enjoy and I am definately open to trying new things with him but I have never done much with a males ass. He got me to lie on him the other night like we were ****ing missionairy with me being the male/on top. He did not want me to tell anyone and said that I am the only person he has told... as he can see me and him being together for a long time and so we should both be able to get each other off.

I am totally open to new things and do not judge him as everybody has their own niches/fetishs. I spose it just comes across rather femenine and I am attracted to the vin diesel/the rock manly type. I spose I am just wondering how many other males are into this sort of thing?? I spose I am just worried that he is possibly gay? Maybe he will come out eventually? He is not feminine at all and is very manly. He loves all things most outdoorsy masculine men like. Definately not someone you would pick to be possibly gay.

Im sorry this is so long. Anyone with any knowledge on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[steviej]

Is the shemale porn shemales f#cking women or men/other shemales?

Nothing concrete to suggest he's gay, just that he has some fetishes that aren't exactly mainstream. Maybe he just wants to feel dominated.

What bothers me the most about your post is him not going down on you! Do you wax/shave down there? Most blokes when they see a tidy, sexy pussy love licking it!

[valmont]

he probably just likes to be dominated...btw the rock is gay lol

[leoben]

I think you would be better suited to asking other women about this, as it's something no man will admit to another and probably not admit on here either. I know of one guy who crossdresses because his girlfriend told me, and he doesn't seem gay in any other way. What your boyfriend has you doing seems to suggest he's at least bicurious though.

[Sonrisa]

is your bf Frasbee?

[bulrush]

There's a few straight men who like to "cross dress", wear women's lingerie, or get "pegged" with a strap on, or simply try new things. It's not just for gays these days. Although many cross dressers happen to be gay. There is even some underwear on the internet that is lacey, but designed for men. Some men like to just try something new. If it's kinky or taboo, they might try it. That's what men do.

What a man wears has nothing to do with being gay. Even big hairy bikers wearing lots of leather are gay.

I don't think he's gay. But I think he might be bi, and he's certainly open-minded and exploring new happy fun things. lol. Sounds like he's in an exploration phase. I think he will get bored of these things some day. Or not.

So, if he's like this for the rest of his life, will you be ok with that? Or will it put some pressure on your sex life? Will you feel unfulfilled or unhappy?

[bcgirl]

I'm glad he has told you his "secret". Many people keep these things very hidden from their partners. I have knew a internet buddy who was a married man with children. His fetish was getting dressed up in women's clothing and getting off by sticking stuff up his butt. He knew that it's not really socially acceptable so he finds the comfort of the world of the internet, a place where his identity is hidden and he can find others who share his fetish on forums/chat rooms etc. I also knew a married man with children and was a teacher in a highschool (married for 20 years), he kept a deep dark secret and finally one day had a mid life crises and got a sex change. His wife and children abandoned him and he lost his job...but now he is a she.

I think just as long as his fetish also turns you on in the bedroom is fine. His fetish will never stop. He needs you to be into it as well. But ofcourse, you can't force yourself to like particular fetishes. As for the manly man not being gay..... you ever walk into a gay bar before? Holy crap!!! SCARY! I stumbled into a gay bar one night because I really had to pee and it was like 2 am and the only thing that was open...I walk in and all the guys there were in leather and were muscular and over 6 feet tall. It wasn't your typical "feminine" pretty boy type. These were the manliest group of brutes i ever saw in one room.

Maybe your boyfriend is bi. He does like shemales. Women faces with male genitals. Ofcourse the c*ck turns him on, if it didn't he wouldn't be looking at shemale porn.

If you are open minded and comfortable with exploring his sexuality, perhaps you two can have a bit of fun in the bedroom. However, if you are not into this at all....the relationship will eventually fail.

[smexygirl89]

I have no issues with porn or people having fetishes. Its just im a bit worried as this seems to be the only thing that turns him on. He shows no interest in wanting to go down on me or spend any time any where near my vagina most of the time. I used to get a brazilian and bum wax every month. I would come home after... shower to get any wax washed off and I would get nothing. Was rather depressing. So now I just shave. I also have my clit pierced. As I am also supscribed to him on facebook in my notifications it has come up that he has commented on different things in transexual groups telling different transexuals to add him to chat. He obviously doesnt know this but i do. He would die if any of his friends knew. I am just worried that he is just with me as a deccoy and one day he will want to turn. I think he doesnt want to **** trannys but like he almost wished he was on and wants to get ****ed by one. This is possibly why he likes to wear corsets and wants me to **** him with a strap on.

Anyway this is just how I feel. I do not judge him... the whole transgender thing just doesnt really do much for me. But also the fact that I have never seen him watch male/female normal porn worries me. Hmmmm... thank u for all your replies.

[sadie_genie]

I think he is bi if he likes getting ****ed in the ass. Btw, just because a guy does manly things doesn't mean he isn't gay. Gays like men but it doesn't mean he has to act feminine. Transsexual men are the ones who act feminine.

[bcgirl]

I have no issues with porn or people having fetishes. Its just im a bit worried as this seems to be the only thing that turns him on. He shows no interest in wanting to go down on me or spend any time any where near my vagina most of the time. I used to get a brazilian and bum wax every month. I would come home after... shower to get any wax washed off and I would get nothing. Was rather depressing. So now I just shave. I also have my clit pierced. As I am also supscribed to him on facebook in my notifications it has come up that he has commented on different things in transexual groups telling different transexuals to add him to chat. He obviously doesnt know this but i do. He would die if any of his friends knew. I am just worried that he is just with me as a deccoy and one day he will want to turn. I think he doesnt want to **** trannys but like he almost wished he was on and wants to get ****ed by one. This is possibly why he likes to wear corsets and wants me to **** him with a strap on.

I definately think your boyfriend is at least bisexual but probably leaning to being gay. Any straight male would be very turned on by having sex with their girlfriends and would look at "normal" porn and love their girlfriend's vagina. The fact that he isn't interested in vagina is a huge red flag. If he is more interested in surfing the net for "chicks with dicks" instead of "chicks with vagina's" raises many questions. Although having certain fetishes is harmless, it can be harmful if that is the ONLY thing he enjoys and doesn't enjoy your sexual desires. It seems like you two are very incompatible when it comes to the bedroom and this relationship won't work if he doesn't want to perform certain acts like giving his girlfriend oral sex. And you won't be satisfied if all he wants to do all the time is get f*cked by you with a strap-on. He will eventually seek out other men/women who share the same fetish if he feels like his sexual needs aren't being met at home. You can log into craigslist and find thousands of ads posted by people with certain fetishes that seek out others with the same fetishes to meet up for sexual encounters. Unfortunately I don't think this relationship will work. He is not being honest with you and you are finding trails of his little secrets that he is keeping away from you. Why not sit down and talk with him one on one about the whole situation, don't judge him or point fingers....but allow him to open up about how he feels about women and sex and why or how his fetish for transexuals and dressing up as a transexual arised. Usually very outrageous fetishes stem from childhood. I knew a guy who liked to get beaten/tortured by girls every time he had sex (he wasn't able to get off any other way)....he was abused as a child and had a dysfunctional family.

[smexygirl89]

Well that is what I thought... we now havent had sex for two weeks now... he has been tired from work though. He does a very physical job. He is friends on facebook with a few different cross dressers and a couple of trannys. He is also a member of a transexual group on facebook. What do you think? Its just an awkward topic to bring up...

[bcgirl]

Have you ever tried sitting him down and talking about it? Communication is key. Just let him know that you know that he has certain cross-dressers/trannies on facebook, yes it may be an awkward situation....but you can't be the girlfriend that sits in the corner too scared to talk to her own boyfriend and just allow him to one day travel to thailand and come back with an std.

[bulrush]

Yes talk to him. You have a right to know if he's going to meet your needs or not. I think that is the issue. Or is it?

Is the issue this is unfamiliar territory for you? Are you concerned he is gay and will leave you? Or are you having other sexual needs going unmet?

[surfhb]

Well that is what I thought... we now havent had sex for two weeks now... he has been tired from work though. He does a very physical job. He is friends on facebook with a few different cross dressers and a couple of trannys. He is also a member of a transexual group on facebook. What do you think? Its just an awkward topic to bring up...

Let's just be real here.....yes, your BF is, most definitely gay.

[smexygirl89]

I am not 100% happy with our sex life... ie never gives me oral but yet expects me to give him head all the time... sometimes we will have patches were we will have lots of sex over say a weekend... then we will have dry paytches and it does my head in lol im on ly young so I love to have sex... I think if he did give me oral not all the time but wanted to at least 25% of the time id be happy because it shows he does have some interest in my pleasure... but he doesnt. Ive kibda stalked his facebook and brought it up before but he kinda cracks the shits saying i go through his stuff.

I do love him alot and we get along really well.... but this whole sex thing is a worry... im worried he might possibly go and do something on the sly eventually or 10 years down the track he just comes out saying hes gay or hes leaving me for a tranny. I dont think he would do it do to the way his family is. He would just keep living a lie... but I dont want him to live a lie.... or me.... there are so many other things i could be doing... travelling etc.