How long should I wait for this man?

[confusedbambi]

Hello there,

(English isn't my native language, sorry)

To make it brief, I've met a man who had been hurt badly in his 4-yr r/ship and had loved this woman so much that he gave her all his properties (under her name) such as car, house, shares, businesses. He claimed that she cheated on him consequently chased her out of his apartment. Then things got utterly messy, as she took ALL of his stuff and they have not been talking until today (it has been 1 year plus).

I really like this guy. He's 32 and I'm 24, we get along well and had a few dates (nothing more!). However lately, he seldom calls me out or texts me as frequent as before, saying that he's busy working and he goes home to sleep, feeling exhausted. He tends to give me that "HOT & COLD" behavior.

I did try to talk to him, like asking what he wants and all that. He told me he really likes me, BUT he needs some time to build his 'empire' as he has lost everything to the girl, and now he's working here (he's from another state), hoping to get back what he wanted. He said he can't commit if he HAS NOTHING, but at the same time, he told me he'd make more efforts to see me. Well... a little so far

So, does it make any sense if a guy can't commit due to his past? or that he has "nothing"? Should I wait? And.. for how long?

I'm not asking him to marry me asap, I only want closure, the security and I want to know that it is worth it. I don't care about MATERIALS, as long as he has a good career and it's more than enough. I want to go through hardships with someone whom I care a lot but he doesn't get it or okay, I'm being delusional.

Thanks for reading.

[vashti]

You've only had a few dates, so I think you are too invested in him. I think you should continue dating other people until you get to know him better, though to be honest, it doesn't sound like he is interested in anything long-term with you.

Just a general tip: never be more invested in a relationship than the other person is.

[bcgirl]

Don't invest too much time with this man. You hardly know him. He says that he hasn't seen his ex in a year....but I doubt it. I think he is playing you for a fool. He probably is having major issues with his "ex" girlfriend and they are probably still together. Stay outta this mess, you don't need to step into a pile of sh*t.