I still don't know for sure whether I love him or not.

[michelle21689]

I am extremely frustrated for the past few days thinking about whether I will love him or not...if I already love him or what? I can't say I don't love him but I also can't say I love him. We've been officially together for 4 months but we were "dating" since February. He is everything a girl could ask for: handsome, makes me laugh, smart, athletic, adventurous, sweet, unselfish, etc. I think the main reason why I don't know if I love him is because I don't miss him when we're apart and I don't long for him. Maybe that's because he is sort of the clingy type (when usually I play that role in a relationship) he always wants to talk and see me...we see each other every day and talk almost every day. He always misses me but I don't miss him usually. If I don't hear from him in almost a day or see him because he's busy doing something else (which is rare) then I will miss him. Another reason is because we haven't been tested really in a relationship. He is afraid to make me angry and always wants to please people. He tries to avoid conflict. I guess in some small way we have been tested...he had premature ejaculation which lasted 10 seconds in sex but I stuck with him and worked with him and now he lasts longer and is getting better.

I can't help but associate feelings like missing someone with love but people say that's infatuation. When I have a bad day and I'm stressed out, seeing him and being with him makes it go away.

It really bothers me a lot that I don't know if I love him or not. I read other people's opinions and articles and it seems like our actions match love but the feeling? I don't know about that. Maybe it's to soon to know whether I wanna be with him forever. I could imagine a life with him and marriage but I don't know how devastated I would be if he broke up with me. Part of it was because I was insane and crazy about my ex for him to leave me and when he did my whole world went down, so I know now that I can live without a guy and be okay.

SO CONFUSED! I Just want to know the answer.

[oldskool83]

you are to worried on the word love i think. step back and enjoy each other, u will know one day if you love him, but i say its gonna take awhile, not 4 months of true dating.

[Sonrisa]

do you believe in fairies?

[malteser]

Why does it even matter?

[bulrush]

Stop trying to force yourself to fit a pre-made mold you made in your head, which defines "love". It doesn't mean a thing if you don't miss him when he's gone. Maybe you are comfortable that he tells you his feelings? So you are secure in the relationship, and that's why you don't pine for him when he's gone.

When I have a bad day and I'm stressed out, seeing him and being with him makes it go away.

And THAT is a good sign. A very good sign. There's something there, just maybe not infatuation. But a strong love takes longer to create and grow. Like a tree. It takes a while to grow but it's strong when it matures.

[michelle21689]

I've been in only 1 relationship before him and that lasted 5 years. My ex wasn't the best boyfriend but he had his sweet moments which were rare. Often I'd have to fight for his attention that I craved, I would be sooo upset because I wouldn't hear from him in a day or two, he was the type that didn't tend to a relationship. He didn't give me attention and I would miss him all the time and pine for him and whenever he gave me attention I was so happy. But also, he made me upset 80% of the time.

Do you think because of my last relationship I am so used to having strong feelings (whether happy/angry/sad) to associate it with love? Is love calm and peaceful? I never have to worry about my boyfriend cuz he gives me A LOT of attention, kinda smothering at times I need space SOMETIMES ya knwo LOL

[Sonrisa]

there's no such thing as love. find new words to define your relationship - care, trust, comfort, etc