Talking about feelings

[malteser]

I'm in a long distance relationship. Occassionally my bf texts me thinks quite out the blue, like one time he text me asking me where I see myself in two years. He recently text me asking me how I feel about him. After about 10 minutes of me thinking about my answer he then phoned me. I told him some of my feelings (like how I really like him etc) and asked him how he feels about me and he didn't give anything away. I asked him if he was thinking this relationship is pointless given the distance and he said not at all, but then said I must feel that way then since I asked that to which I promised that I definately don't feel like that but am never too sure what's going on in his head. The following day I text him summing up my feelings for him to include that I see him as somone who has the potential for us to have something really special. I then asked him to tell me how he feels about me. He didn't reply so after about an hour I text him again and he replied saying that he was still thinking about what to put. I've not heard anything from him since (that was the day before yesterday) but that's not uncommon.

I'm seeing this two ways. The first is that he is being a coward in not having the balls to tell me he doesn't feel the same way about me. I have asked for honest answers only and during our telephone conversation I made it clear that although I would be very upset if he ended things with me and it would take me some time to get over him, I would rather know if he wanted to end things rather than waste any time and drag things out. The second is that he really likes me too and he is afraid off telling me because he has been badly hurt in the past and by telling me his feelings he is opening himself up to potentially being hurt again.

It bothers me abit because I'm left wondering where I stand but I think the best thing I can do is not pressure him into telling me his feelings and let him tell me in his own time. What I really want to know from guys or other women who have experienced something similar, do you think this is anything to worry about or is this normal for guys?

[bulrush]

Most guys, especially young guys, are just awful at expressing their feelings. You can either accept it, or find someone who is comfortable dealing with feelings. Their brains are not wired to understand, or express, those feelings. And they are socialized to not express any feelings that might make them appear weak. But there are some guys who are fine with their feelings. They tend to be older IME.

[malteser]

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