Actually surprised at how wrong i was about him!?

[JadenMia]

So i was seeing this guy i had known for a while, he seemed great, i knew him for about a year before the night we actually kissed and we got along well as friends, then we kissed unexpectedly one night and there had been attraction ever since. At first i was skeptical about seeing anybody new.. I didnt want to be pulled into anything serious, but i felt myself thinking about him more than i usually would. Started getting excited to receive calls or texts from him.

Since my breakup it was the first time i had actually liked anybody. He was very persistant about hanging out after we kissed, i left it a few days to see him again.
We hung out and i had SO much fun, i felt happy with him and we had a great time. He continued to ask me to hang out everyday, so we would see each other like every other night. We kissed, but i refused to sleep with him. So glad i did.lol
He would tell me he liked me a lot and felt happy when i was around and he seemed so sincere. I never wanted to rush anything but i was happy with how things were going.

Last week he had asked if i would spend the weekend with him. I agreed, i had no other plans. Yesterday he didnt text me all too much.. Didnt think too much of it, figured i would text him and ask what it was he wanted to do that night. He said he didnt know, didnt ask my plans or anything. So i knew something was a little off. I invited him to the local bar for a few drinks with a few friends and he declined.

When i got there he was already there, which was kind of a slap in the face. So i just did my own thing and tried to ignore it. A few drinks went down and i decided to go talk to him. He didnt say all too much, just acted cocky in a way, like he hardly knew me at all. I text him after i left and said that it was a harsh way to act and he pretty much just said 'look i dont want a relationship and he doesnt think he did anything wrong'.

I felt so hurt about it, i couldnt believe we had spent that time together and he said all those things and just forgotten me in a couple of hours.
I know it was only a few weeks we had hung out but he made me feel comfortable with him, like there was something between us and how much he wanted to see me helped me believe he really felt the same way.

I feel so stupid about it.. How could i have misread everything like that? I know i blew it last night, i should have just completely ignored him and acted like it was nothing, but i had to say something because i just wanted to understand why. Needless to say he hasnt contacted me today..

Any input? Does anyone have any advice for me, for the next time maybe? I apparently have no idea how to date or anything like this.

[MaidenMinx]

sweety, you have to sift a lot of dirt to find the gold. You did nothing wrong from what I can see. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and you'll be ready to keep looking soon.

[JadenMia]

sweety, you have to sift a lot of dirt to find the gold. You did nothing wrong from what I can see. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and you'll be ready to keep looking soon.

Thanks Maiden I had a good cry about it last night, but havnt been TOO bad about it today.. Just a little down.
But how can i tell a fake from someone who actually likes me? I would have never thought he 'just wasnt that into me'.. He seemed more than just into me. So now i am confused.
I feel like i maybe shouldnt have let him know i had so much fun with him that i was happy when i was around him?

I feel like i was just being honest with him because thats how i like to be with other people. But i dont think it was the right way to be at all this time.

[IndiReloaded]

The ones who clearly show they are assholes early on are the best, IMO. He did you a favour. Now all you need to do is not get bogged down by what you hoped might happen and see things for how they really are. Try to remember this if he calls.

Keep sifting, as Minx said. You'll be just fine.

[MaidenMinx]

Sweety, don't change yourself just to find someone. Just brace yourself for the fact that there are more jerks than sweethearts and the jerks have good camouflage.

[JadenMia]

Thankyou!
Thats actually a good way to look at it, i am really glad it happened this early on.. I am not sure how i will feel if he tries to apologise. But im going to make sure i keep in mind how he made me feel and that it wont ever change no matter how much i would like it to.
I shouldnt really keep blaming myself for this happening.. Whatever. I guess i will find someone truly compatible with me by being myself. Hopefully that doesnt have me ending up alone..

Thanks again.

[parkbom]

eh he is a jerk... and I think you were too easy. He asked you to hang out and you went.. he asked you to go spend the weekend with him and you did. Girls should play hard to get, its whaT gets the guys crazy and wanting more. Shoot I just remember I gave my number to a guy last night haha. Well i gave it cuz he didnt have facebook and I don't know when I would see him, but now when I think of it. I should have given it to him when I see him next time since he said he will come out next time. he lives 2 hours away and is my friends friend lol.

But on top of that, I only gave him my number, but I can play hard to get when he ask me to hang out. I can make excuses or something, so that he won't think I am easy. I have a problem with that and I need to work on that...

[girloutoftown]

I had a similar kind of situation with a guy I have known for couple of years. He started pursuing me couple months ago. I was travelling in Europe for couple of months and he called, texted or chatted in FB every single day for 2 months. There wasn't a day when he didn't tell me how wonderful I am and how much he wants to be with me. And when I finally arrive to meet him he says he has a serious girlfriend that he cannot drop everything for me when I decide to come in town. Whaaat!!! Seriously?? And when I ask him to get lost he tries come back in my life with some new lies. I cut all contact with him. I blocked him from my Facebook and stopped answering to his messages. I feel much better when he is out of the picture. He cannot manipulate me anymore. Men like that are here only to take something and to give nothing back. Just cut him off.

But remember in real love there are no games. So it wasn't real so we, you or I, didn't miss anything special...!!

[bulrush]

JadenMia,
You didn't do anything wrong. He just changed how he acts. He was rude and you found out soon enough. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Same thing goes for guys. We guys have to date a lot of girls to find that perfect one.