A few questions for any man that has been in love before...

[dior01]

I posted the original story in the love advice section..

However, I know most people don't have the patience to read such a long story...so I just have a few questions to post here in hopes that I will get a larger volume of responses.

My problem is that I think I have fallen in love with this guy. I think about him from morning to night. It gives me comfort to think about him because when I try to force myself to stop...I burst into tears at the thought of not thinking about him...that's how I know I have a problem. I was engaged before and so I have been in love and I know what it feels like.. and even though my ex fiancee and I had a lot more history... I don't know why it was easier for me to walk away then.. I think it's because the relationship became so toxic (love/hate..on and off) that at some point I knew it was either him or my health.

I don't have the same strength this time around... luckly I have had the self respect not to contact this guy because he has unresolved issues with his ex... But for some reason I can't let him go..

I guess I have 4 questions I'm hoping to shed some light on:

1- If a guy has this crazy intense connection with this girl..and does things out of character (like talk about kids and marriage ..even though on the first date he said he is no where near ready...) ... and spends every minute of every day with her or talking to her...introduces her to friends and family.. penetrates every aspect of her life and is always there for her...than his ex comes back begging for him...and they have lots of history (she hurt him badly)... can this guy just forget about this new romance with this great girl who he feels is the one...and go back to the ex because of history??

2- If a man really loves a woman..how long can he go without contacting her...when she has done nothing wrong.. (with the exception that I wasn't understanding at all about the ex drama..and I didn't wish him a happy birthday because we weren't talking at this point for a week)

3- If the man that "supposedly loves this woman" is on holidays... not working daytime for 2 weeks.. and hasn't talked to this woman in 2 weeks since the drama with the ex... most likely he is with the ex no? What else would he be doing in his spare time? If the ex wasn't an option and he didn't want to be with her... wouldn't he be going crazy thinking of this woman he "loves"...how is he occupying his days? Just friends and family and tv? Without trying to contact once?

4- Why can't I accept this and move on? Or how do I accept this and move on? As days pass...it gets harder not easier... I spend my days analyzing the **** out of this..thinking about the 2-3 months we spent every day together and all the things he said and did for me until she came back... I opened my heart out to this guy (after he pursued me for a month before I even agreed to go on a date) and foolishly let myself fall for him quickly because it just felt right... and he said the same.. how do I reverse that now and just give up just like that..with no real closure

Thanks for reading..

[dior01]

ps.

1: there is nothing about this girl that even makes me a little bit jealous.. I know if they had no history, she would be no competition..

2: I did nothing wrong. He screwed up not me. He has to live with that.

Isn't this the IDEAL situation when you're trying to let go? ...because there is nothing for me to dwell on?

So why haven't I started to do that? I don't think it's normal how much I think about him... or check my phone all the time hoping it's him calling...

[bulrush]

I can't read his mind and every man is different, with a different situation, so I can't tell you what he will do. You have to watch his actions, ignore his words, to see his real intention.

If you want to get over him, think of other things, do things, that keep your mind off him. It doesn't sound like love to me, it sounds like you have an obsession for him, or you have some need that he seems to fill.

[Hookahmike]

I agree with blurush you seem to be utterly infatuated with this guy to an almost unhealthy extent especially the crying if you dont think about him (thats just a bit scary) you need to do something to take your mind off him

As a guy whos been in love, and one who hates ppl who post with out a care for what the person is asking heres my answers
1. I would not leave a girl i had connection with for my crazy ex.
2. If i even like a women she at the very least gets a good morning txt every day
3. If i loved this girl id at least contact her
look you seem really obsessed with this guy and it isnt healthy find some thing else to occupy your srlf with

[bcgirl]

who is "this woman"??