Very confused about this guy...help!

[romanticgirl]

Hello,
I have a very good friend on Facebook who wanted me to meet his college roommate. I befriended his roommate and we had great conversations online through Facebook for a while. We exchanged phone numbers and he responded quickly by texting me continuously. He was planning on running a marathon and was going to be in town, so we decided to meet up for drinks and to watch our favorite football team at a great little bar I knew of. I should mention he lives 2 hours from me. The distance didn't bother me at all. Anyways, we ended the night by him dropping me off at my house. We hugged and I even gave him a kiss on his neck, nothing more. We both expressed wanting to see each other again whenever he is in town. That was a last I heard from him. I didn't make contact with him because I was very curious to know if he was planning on calling me or make any contact after the initial first date. I am not one to 'chase' men. Fast forward to 2 months later, I received a text from him on Christmas Day telling me 'Merry Christmas' and asking if I'm doing well. I texted him back a sweet message telling him I am well and hope he has a great holiday.

I need advice from men and/or women about what this guy is trying to accomplish. I personally like the guy very much and was excited to get any type of message from him. It really made my day. I don't know what to do now! New Years is coming up and I want to wish him a great day but I'm not quite sure if I should contact him at all. Does this guy want any type of relationship with me? Should I express to him I would like to see him again? What should be my next move, if any?

Thanks everyone

[surfhb]

Get over this " I dont chase guys" bullshit. Call him up New Years Day (call....dont text) and set up another time to meet.

[smackie9]

2 months later he texts you? pfft, I wouldn't waste my time.

[surfhb]

sorry....I missed the 2 months part. Yeah, I agree....he just not that into you.

[Wakeup]

I agree with Smackie. Pfft. to him.

Don't make yourself an out-of-town booty call. If he was into you for more than that, he wouldn't have waited two months before the next contact. If he contacts you again and asks to see you, don't sleep with him until you've met his friends and you do it at his house after he's shown you that he wants to get to know you as much outside of the bedroom as he does inside the bedroom.

[romanticgirl]

I'm not sure what to think about why he suddenly texts me. I personally thought he lost my number or something. I think I'm still gonna send him a happy new year text early just because I appreciated his text to me on Christmas day. I don't have any hard feeling towards him. I'm not emotionally attached to him even though I really liked our first date. I only wish he would have communicated to me why he never called. Maybe someday I'll get an answer. Most likely I won't be making contact with him until he CAN answer that.

[bcgirl]

a guy should be a gentleman and contact you soon after a date (if he liked you)....not 2 freakin months after. It points to being lonely around the holidays and stooping down to texting random girls he's not that into to get a little bit of attention this time of year.

[romanticgirl]

a guy should be a gentleman and contact you soon after a date (if he liked you)....not 2 freakin months after. It points to being lonely around the holidays and stooping down to texting random girls he's not that into to get a little bit of attention this time of year.

I think you hit it on the mark! What do YOU suggest I do? Should I completely not respond to him any longer or should I not take it so seriously and just send a simple text to him on New Years since you believe he is so sad and alone (pathetic)

I'm also debating about confronting him about not calling me. Would that be an idea?

I cannot understand why a guy wants to be alone in life! Why bother meeting me when he has no intention of continuing into a relationship?!

The single life is very rewarding when shit like this happens.

[bulrush]

Ignore him. He's not that into you. If a girl did that to me, I would ignore her completely. I have better things to do with my time than spend it with someone so rude and uncommitted, and lacking chemistry.

I am not one to 'chase' men.

Don't chase this guy, he's not worth it. But really, I don't support this 1950s mentality. This is 2011. If you are submissive, just admit it and say so.

[smackie9]

Ya it went from hot, meets you, then goes to freezing cold like the ice age.....like I said waste of time.

[oldskool83]

2 months is a long while with no contact. he prob texted you to be friendly, if he wanted somthing more he would of say so. peace him

[Wakeup]

I'm not sure what to think about why he suddenly texts me. I personally thought he lost my number or something. I think I'm still gonna send him a happy new year text early just because I appreciated his text to me on Christmas day. I don't have any hard feeling towards him. I'm not emotionally attached to him even though I really liked our first date. I only wish he would have communicated to me why he never called. Maybe someday I'll get an answer. Most likely I won't be making contact with him until he CAN answer that.

Uhm, for someone who doesn't chase guys... you would be chasing him if you send him a happy new year text.

He shelved you and now he's recyling you to see if you're self-worth is low enough to chase him until he gets you to go to bed with him.

I would have just deleted his text without responding. Anyone who's interested in you enough to want to GET TO KNOW YOU wouldn't have left it that long to contact you again.

Next him, he's bad news. You should be getting that same vibe but you're not, why? What's missing in your life that you'd let yourself be a recycled item?

[romanticgirl]

The fact that guys can't express to me why they aren't interested just bothers me. I figured since my friend wanted to set me up with this guy, this guy would be interested in dating. I never would have agreed to go out with him if I knew he had no intentions of continuing to date me.

I never can see the signs when a guy is not interested and not to toot my own horn, but many guys ask me out however, never resulting in relationships.

So the concensous is to ignore this guy? What if I receive a text from him on New Years? Do I respond? I would really like to confront the guy about his antics! Kinda pissed off.

Thanks

[Wakeup]

I never would have agreed to go out with him if I knew he had no intentions of continuing to date me.

You've got some unreasonable expectations then. How the heck can someone guarantee that they'll continue to date you? Dating is about getting to know someone and then seeing if you're compatible enough, there is enough of a spark to continue doing it. He didn't have that spark/enough in common with you to keep doing it apparently. Don't let that bother you, it happens to the best of em.

If I were you, I'd shelve my expectations and just go about having fun meeting new guys and enjoying the company. Hopefully during your having fun, you'll connect with someone that sees relationship potential in you.

Me? If he sent me a NY greeting, I'd read/delete. If you have many guys asking you out then don't even give him a second thought. Respect yourself, him ~ he never earned the right to you respecting him.

If you confront him about his "antics" then you're just giving him attention. The point is to stop giving him any kind of attention whatsoever. Pfffft is what you say just before you delete a greeting from him.

[bulrush]

The fact that guys can't express to me why they aren't interested just bothers me.

It seems most of the younger guys are just dipshits anyway. There's your reason. It is the parents' fault for not teaching them manners. I always tell the girl if there is a change in the relationship, because I would want the same courtesy.

I never can see the signs when a guy is not interested and not to toot my own horn, but many guys ask me out however, never resulting in relationships.

Maybe you are pretty, but they think you are too good for them. But that only outlines their insecurity. An insecure person is not someone you want a serious relationship with.

So the concensous is to ignore this guy? What if I receive a text from him on New Years? Do I respond? I would really like to confront the guy about his antics! Kinda pissed off.

Yes. Ignore all his feeble texts. He is not a real man, but just a boy. His actions show that pretty clearly. You will never get closure from this "boy", do not expect it. Remember, age has nothing to do with maturity. Experience and a good heart is more important for maturity.