Happy relationship, BF suddenly wants a break, not sure what to think.

[gertrude]

I'm 25, My BF is 26. We've known eachother for around 4 years, became a couple May of this year (2011).

We've both been in relationships before. When we got together, everything felt so right for the both of us. He was so happy whenever we were together. He assured me that I am everything he wants in a GF, and that I am the love of his life. All our thoughts, interests, and sense of humor was so compatible (Thanks to 4 years of friendship, I guess). We made plans for our future together. I would not have thought that far into the future without the love he showed on his part, but I let myself believe all the promises we made to eachother, and I was sure that he was the love of my life as well. It was hard not to believe that when everything was perfect.

That passion has been slowly dying in the past month or so. We are both undergoing a lot of work related stress. He is going through more in his head than I am (not sure what he wants to do in the future for work etc.). He is, as he puts it, going through a quarter-life crisis. One day, out of the blue he says he thinks we should take a break.

This came as a huge surprise to me, as he's always let me know how much he loves me, and how he knows I'm part of his future, etc. Granted, he's been a bit distant and saying less of that stuff in the past 2 weeks (honestly, this has only been the case for the past TWO WEEKS). The work related stress has been looming over our heads for a while now, but from where I was standing, I didn't think it meant we needed to take a break.

We talked things over and decided neither of us wants a break. But he needs some space to figure himself out. We decided I'd leave him alone for 3 weeks. So, from talking to eachother several times a day, all of a sudden we are barely communicating at all. This started at the beginning of the week. I'm wracking my brain out thinking what this means. He seems happier when he's not with me, and it generally seems like he doesn't want to see or talk to me. It's getting really hard to believe this "giving-him-space" thing is going to do any good for us at all. It seems like we are drifting further apart, and that he's okay with it. I don't know how a person can go from knowing that someone is the love of their life, to unsure and not wanting to talk to that person at all, in a matter of days. I don't know what happened or even what is happening now. I'm not sure what I should expect at the end of the 3 weeks.

I'm also unsure whether I should let him know about these doubts in my head. It's becoming hard to face him the few brief times we talked / saw eachother in the past couple of days. I'm not sure weather I should pretend like I'm happy and fine with everything, as to not give him any more stress, or let him know how I'm really feeling. I'm not sure how to approach him at all.

Any advice or past experience would be really appreciated.

[MachRed]

Here's my take on it? A quarter-life crisis? Seriously, give me a break. There's no such thing. The only thing I can say to you is that he's probably seeing someone else and is trying to spare your feelings. If he's distancing yourself from you and seems happier when he's not with you, then that's a problem. It's obvious you love him but if the love isn't being returned, it's not worth it. I think you have to sit down with him and have a long talk and make him tell you the truth. Make sure he's honest and just ask him...1) Do you still want to be with me? 2)Is there someone else 3) Make sure he's telling you everything. I can't stand when you ask both men and women what's wrong..why are you acting different and all they come up with is...I'm not. The sooner you talk to him, the sooner you can either work out your problems or move on with your life. But I mean come on...A quarter-life crisis? In your 20's? I was a widow at 26 and never went through a quarter-life crisis...that's garbage. I'm sorry...


Hope I helped