was it write thing to do, please help?

[Ivan]

Hi, i'm new here and i have some problems that i couldn't carry out with my friend and my parents.

I, had a 6 year long relationtship. I, am 25 y.o. and she is 2 years younger than me.
Before her i had some relationships but nothing serious, she had one or two boyfriends and thas it.

The problem is......for 5,5 years everithing was going fine, with some small problems, but it was pretty nice. Than 3 months ago she cheated me with some guy ( 6 times )......yes it was small relationtship but based on sex, we dated that time normaly........she couldn't keep secret so she eventualy told me about that. There was a big fight between us, and i managed to forgive her. Well she was pretty down at the time, she was crying and all that.......so i sad to myself, ok, everybody makes mistakes, let's start over.
After that period 3 weeks ago ( begining of february ), she wen't on mountain for skiing with her friends.
When she got back, girlfriend of my best friend, who was with here there also, told me that she saw her kissing with some guy. I asked my girlfriend about that, and after huge persuasion ( don't know other word in english ) she told me that she had sex with him. Even worse, she got drunk and started to flirt on the wery first thay of her hollyday. The odd thing is that i have been told that she talked about me all that day, but what happened to her on that evening, nobody could answer. Well it was clearly 5 day long relationship.

When i heard that i dumped her emediatly.
My problem is:
1) I love her very very much ( i beleve that she is my true love ), and in my heart i feel that i shouldn't dump her, but my brain tell's me that it was write thing to do.

After all i didn't want to dump her, i was forced, buy her cheating.

2) Everithing that happened on that mountain doesn't look like her, but she confesed that she did it.

She is now all messed up, she is calling me every day - asking me for another chance ( i gave her chance first time ).

I wan't to beleve that we will be together.......in few months or in 1-2 years, as long as she need to realize some things about her self. In meantime i want to date other girls......to see if my judgement was write in some way......i would also wish that same for her. After all i love her that much that if this is the way for her to grew-up in some way, the let it be what is ment to be.

Please give me some advice, what to do.

I have some plans like......basicly we are now broke up, and she could do anything she want's to, but i hope that she will learn to appriciate some things in not so distant future. And that we could start over, because........well i'm angry, but i have that stomach feeling that we should be together. But how to now that it would not happen again?
Do you think that it is possible for her to do it, i menat to ask her self some question or to look deep into herself?

Please help me, i'm all confused?

Thank you all

P.S.
Sorry for bad english writing, and if you need more details feel free to ask.

[JimmyHat]

Man its gonna be hard to make things work.....everytime you get intimate you are gonna have those thoughts of her being with a few other guys she used when you weren't around. Also whats to stop her in the future from doing it again....you seem to forgive easy and take her back so now she thinks she can keep doing it and you will always take her back. It's best to move on and of course it'll hurt but it'll save you later down in the road.

[C1d6OC]

Cheated? Not once, but twice? BYE BYE!!! You deserve better buddy. Love or not, you're not confused, you did the right thing. Go out and get a lady that will respect you properly and not lay the next guy she sees. I'm a pretty forgiving guy myself, but you have to say, it happened again, bye sweetie. And that's all there is to that.

Cdoc

[Ivan]

Yeah, you are probably wright, but how it's possible that she could change herself that much in just 3 months? It was normal relationship, we've been seen each other on daily basis. I mean, i new 100% that she didn't do things like that in past.....i am just confused, there was so many nice things in past 5-6 years for this to happen now.

[misombra]

people never change. she sounds like a free spirit. you'll have to either get used to it or leave.

[C1d6OC]

Unfortunately regardless of time. It could have been a week for all I care. She had a choice in her actions and she chose unwisely. I'm sure you're confused, because things were going so well. It seemed like she wanted to explore, but decided to take it TOO far. Now, the owness is on her...Keep your chin up and move on buddy. Like I said before, she did it TWICE...you can forgive her, but you can't always forget. You will continue to have it in the back of your head and be insecure whether or not she's cheating. You don't want that in a relationship. Don't do that to yourself.

Let her cry all she wants and apologize. Fact is, if you take her back, it may be different, but unless she learns that being with someone means exactly that, she's not worth the effort. Harsh as it may seem.

Cdoc

[Ivan]

You're right. I also think that she wanted to explore. I want to belive that this is just a period that she didn't pass when she was 16-17 y.o. when it was time for her to do that. I just want to belive that, because i can't figure out how could someone change himself in such a short period. After all she was faitfull for 5 years.
Yes i know that thing about forgiving, and i know that if i forgive her that i would have deamons in the back of my had.......that would eventualy destroy even nicest memories on her. The thing is, I now belive that she will change in some time.....of course i don't want to wait for that, i will move on with my life now, but what if i meet her next year.....and realize in some conversation that she had changed her attidute towards life and relationships. Do you think that it would be smart to start over?.....Yes i will also have something in the back of my had, but i don't know would it be worth of my time. Like i sad it was 5,5 wonderfull years.

[C1d6OC]

Ivan, you don't know what will happen a year from now. Even if she did change, what if you already have a caring girlfriend that WON'T cheat on you by then? You're not going to have thoughts of your ex lingering then. Listen, 5.5 wonderful years is great, but cheating is cheating. No excuses whatsoever. Just take care of yourself man. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure it will benefit you and just be sure to do it from the heart.

Cdoc

[misombra]

I also think that she wanted to explore. I want to belive that this is just a period that she didn't pass when she was 16-17 y.o. when it was time for her to do that.

--i've seen people in the "exploring" stage for many, many years after that...

[Ivan]

We share same thoughts Cdoc, I also think that way. I sure don't want to wait for her.....i ment if something like that would happen in future. I want to continiue with my life, when or if something like that happens.....i don't know, but for now i want to " explore " my self, i 've been faitfull for 5-6 years, well it's time for me to have some fun.
Thank you for giving great advices.