He Wont Say 'I Love You'.

[Graelwyn]

Been seeing a man for 10 months now... unusual circumstances as he had been alone for 22 years prior to finally talking to me. I had liked him from a distance for 5 years before he spoke to me. It took him until September to start referring to me as his girlfriend, after I left him for 6 weeks, and soon after he said that he had fallen in love with me, and described feelings of nerves all the time and feeling shy around me. On one occasion, after a slight argument when I walked off, he came and told me he could not imagine never seeing me again and that he had not slept and felt bad all day and had gone searching for me (as he did not have a phone then).

But since then, when he kisses me, he took to just saying 'Like'. This hurts. I would hope that he would be able to say more than 'like' after 10 months and each time he says it, it triggers me to get very upset, and him to respond about how its just a word and how lots of media people say 'love' and sing about 'love' and then divorce their wives and go off with others. But that is them, and not him.

He sees me every day, and holds my hand when we are out, and cuddles me, and rubs my back and shoulders regularly, casually and when I was ill recently with flu, he came round in the rain with a pizza and had me call him later on. But the word, to me, is so important, as I feel if a man cannot say he loves you, then he most likely does not, especially if he says 'like'

In all other respects, we have gone from being strangers who passed one another in town, to doing lots of things together, and I have met his family, and he has met my mother, but I am at a point now, at 36, where I feel I do not want time to slide by with someone who is not looking to something seriously.

He is not at all possessive, and in fact, has been asked why he doesn't know where I am when we do our own thing during the day... he believes in me going out there and doing my own thing and living my life. But in a sense, it can sometimes feel as if he is not really caring.

I manage to carry on and just accept the lack of 'I love you' until he says 'like' to me and then it all comes rushing back and I get very hurt and upset.
Surely, if a man says he has fallen in love with you, part of that should be that he loves you ?
I am very confused as, he literally had no female in his life for all those years, and he is a very careful and analytical sort, so I had thought at the time, that he must have meant it if he had concluded that after thinking about it.

Any guidance?

[HeartIsAching]

Been seeing a man for 10 months now... unusual circumstances as he had been alone for 22 years prior to finally talking to me. I had liked him from a distance for 5 years before he spoke to me. It took him until September to start referring to me as his girlfriend, after I left him for 6 weeks, and soon after he said that he had fallen in love with me, and described feelings of nerves all the time and feeling shy around me. On one occasion, after a slight argument when I walked off, he came and told me he could not imagine never seeing me again and that he had not slept and felt bad all day and had gone searching for me (as he did not have a phone then).

But since then, when he kisses me, he took to just saying 'Like'. This hurts. I would hope that he would be able to say more than 'like' after 10 months and each time he says it, it triggers me to get very upset, and him to respond about how its just a word and how lots of media people say 'love' and sing about 'love' and then divorce their wives and go off with others. But that is them, and not him.

He sees me every day, and holds my hand when we are out, and cuddles me, and rubs my back and shoulders regularly, casually and when I was ill recently with flu, he came round in the rain with a pizza and had me call him later on. But the word, to me, is so important, as I feel if a man cannot say he loves you, then he most likely does not, especially if he says 'like'

In all other respects, we have gone from being strangers who passed one another in town, to doing lots of things together, and I have met his family, and he has met my mother, but I am at a point now, at 36, where I feel I do not want time to slide by with someone who is not looking to something seriously.

He is not at all possessive, and in fact, has been asked why he doesn't know where I am when we do our own thing during the day... he believes in me going out there and doing my own thing and living my life. But in a sense, it can sometimes feel as if he is not really caring.

I manage to carry on and just accept the lack of 'I love you' until he says 'like' to me and then it all comes rushing back and I get very hurt and upset.
Surely, if a man says he has fallen in love with you, part of that should be that he loves you ?
I am very confused as, he literally had no female in his life for all those years, and he is a very careful and analytical sort, so I had thought at the time, that he must have meant it if he had concluded that after thinking about it.

Any guidance?

Yep, I have some guidance. Communicate these things to HIM. Tell him that you would like it if he said "I love you" once in a while, if that's truly the way he feels. Tell him that you feel hurt when he says "like" instead.

Also, stop making assumptions about how you think he feels and what he thinks. Ask. A relationship without adequate communications has a very rocky road.

[bulrush]

he took to just saying 'Like'. This hurts. I would hope that he would be able to say more than 'like' after 10 months and each time he says it, it triggers me to get very upset...

He seems to have a problem saying "I love you" but you also seem to have a problem with overreacting to his saying "like". There is work for both of you to do. He has to realize he is not someone in the media that uses the word "love" casually. He should try to experience it, let himself go sometimes, and be emotionally vulnerable. This might take some work and practice.