I'm so desperate ...

[The Break]

I fell in love with a girl a year and 8 months ago ...
By that time, she wasn't sharing my feelings, although she realized she did have feelings a few weeks later but she thought I didn't anymore ... So she went out with an other guy, while I was drinking alone, crying and listening to sad songs on my couch for 2 long months ... Not aware of her situation, a friend of her's told me she had feelings for me ... I took my chance but of course, it didn't work because of her boyfriend ...
After that we met again, and she seemed happy, but she saw I still had feelings for her ...
I started smoking, drinking and having one-night relationships to destroy myself and to forget about her ... For a long time I thought it worked, but recently I saw her and I realized I loved her more than ever, more than anything ... I've even quit smoking and drinking to please her ...
The thing is that she's going out with an other guy now ... It hurts so bad ...
I feel that my strenght is leaving me, that it won't take long before I start smoking, drinking and having one-night relationships again ...
I just want to destroy myself ... I feel like I'm a monster, that I don't deserve her allthough I know she's the one for me ...
What should I do ?

[smackie9]

Stop putting so much value into someone you never had a relationship with. She is not worth it. Sorry you feel the way you do, but you have to change your method of moving on. You need to get into positive, and beneficial physical activities like working out, joining a club of some sort, play a team sport, etc. Alcohol is a depressant so you are not doing yourself any favors by drinking yourself into oblivion. One night stands just lowers your self respect and the instant gratification withers away quickly.

Tip: never invest your feelings in a girl that you are not in a relationship with. The reason you are infatuated with her is because you know you can't have her....it's true, you desire more what you can't have and that is what has driven you all this time.....you are obsessing...that is not love.

Down the road when this all finally passes and you meet someone new you will realize she wasn't for you and you will wonder "What the hell did I see in her? what a fool I was".