Opinions needed!

[niggles]

There's a guy (obv) i've slept with him a couple of times then he stopped talking to me. (yes he's not
interested - its cool)
Then every know and then he messages me asking how I am etc, we have a bit of banter (even the odd compliment) then he's like 'are
you free we could fool around'
I won't lie, I usually say sure, come over - then he stops texting me and won't speak to me for weeks...

So in short, He always seems up for a a quick fumble, then bails? What is that about?

[asdfg789]

how old are you ? you are his booty call plain and simple. when he feels like sex with you, he calls. after he gets what he wants he bails. doesn't even bother to romance you in any way. why ? because you let him.

[MaidenMinx]

He's just making sure he still has you hooked. You've gone from being a booty call to an ego boost.

[smackie9]

You are on his hook up list......if he isn't calling you for weeks then you are probably last on his list and was "hitting it" somewhere else.

[bcgirl]

So in short, He always seems up for a a quick fumble, then bails? What is that about?

you're kidding me right? Isn't it clear as day? He wants to only use you as a booty call. A girl who is willing to f*ck and fool around each time you two meet up and have no other strings attached. It's a great thing to have for a man who doesn't want commitment but needs to get his rocks off once in a while. So if you are fine with just using each other for sex....then it's cool. But if you aren't fine with being used just for sex and you want something more like a relationship.....then you gotta quit screwing him. Plain and simple.

[niggles]

OK, just to clear some things up and try and prove i'm not a total idiot....

He'd text me saying what you up to i'm home alone come keep me company.. When I'd say yeh sure, he'd make an excuse as to why i couldn't go over.
Mainly being up for sex, then when I say sure he doesn't want to see me (so we don't sleep together).
The second poster made it pretty clear, that he only texts me to see if i'm still interested.

I take everyones replies seriously, just didn't really explain myself properly the first time.

[smackie9]

He cancels out on you because he got a better offer.....I have a feeling he has more than you to come over and have sex with him.

[bulrush]

You are his booty call. But it sounds like you are fine with that, and that's ok. As long as you enjoy it. He doesn't want anything more serious, just an occasional hook up.

[smackie9]

Like I always say.....if it doesn't feel right it's not.

[bcgirl]

wear protection...he most likely has other booty calls as well. Remember, everyone he had sex with...you are having sex with too.

[Wakeup]

There's a guy (obv) i've slept with him a couple of times then he stopped talking to me. (yes he's not
interested - its cool)
Then every know and then he messages me asking how I am etc, we have a bit of banter (even the odd compliment) then he's like 'are
you free we could fool around'
I won't lie, I usually say sure, come over - then he stops texting me and won't speak to me for weeks...

So in short, He always seems up for a a quick fumble, then bails? What is that about?

This is how people who don't want you as a relationship partner act. They do not do bonding like rituals so they do not get attached and think that sex equals love.

If you're really as "cool" with it as you say you are then you'd know why he bails. You best stop always being available when he beck and calls because it certainly sounds like you're getting your personal validation from the simple fact that he wants you sexually and hasn't dumped you after sex all together. Don't be getting your validation from the fact that he still comes back for more because doing that will strip you of your self-worth, will make you addicted to his attention and then he will steal your joy one screw at a time.

Take back your personal power and stop being available every time he wants to use your body for a warm wet place to masturbate. He holds all the power by deciding when he will give you another piece of him... that too will steal your joy.

Tell us, have you ever text him to come do you? If you have has he come on first attempt or has he turned you down and made it so you have no say when you get it? I ask because that is the typical booty call relationship... it's usually all about the guy and how he directs the hook ups to coincide with what he wants without consideration for you... not always that way, but from what I read in forums, it is the norm. It's a terrible thing to be taught through Pavlov's Dog type of rewards system to get your self-worth and validation from some guy gracing you with anothe sex session when it suits him.

[bcgirl]

it's usually all about the guy and how he directs the hook ups to coincide with what he wants without consideration for you.

i'm a girl....i used to be in a relationship with my ex boyfriend which was a rollercoaster ride. When me and him would fight....i would get myself a "bootycall" or "rebound guy" to hang out with and f*ck. Never cared for any of these booty guys. I just used them to make me feel better and have some revenge sex. Sometimes me and my ex would fight and so i'd call up my bootycall....but then me and my ex would make-up and i'd have to cancel plans with the bootycall. It would happen often....that is why i'd have to drop the bootycalls after several months because they would suspect i had a boyfriend or something.

I'm suspecting maybe this guy has a girlfriend whom he fights with often and he calls on you whenever he is having bad moments with his gf. When him and his girlfriend make-up...that's why he cancels on you or ignores you for a while.....until the next fight.

[Wakeup]

i'm a girl....i used to be in a relationship with my ex boyfriend which was a rollercoaster ride. When me and him would fight....i would get myself a "bootycall" or "rebound guy" to hang out with and f*ck. Never cared for any of these booty guys. I just used them to make me feel better and have some revenge sex. Sometimes me and my ex would fight and so i'd call up my bootycall....but then me and my ex would make-up and i'd have to cancel plans with the bootycall. It would happen often....that is why i'd have to drop the bootycalls after several months because they would suspect i had a boyfriend or something.

I'm suspecting maybe this guy has a girlfriend whom he fights with often and he calls on you whenever he is having bad moments with his gf. When him and his girlfriend make-up...that's why he cancels on you or ignores you for a while.....until the next fight.

Well, as I said it's more times than not about the guy.. You obviously got your validation thorough sex during that period of your life and you called the shots because you were addicted to your ex who you still had and were'nt desparate for company because you had him to go back to and, you were'nt yet ready to leave him for good . It happens that the woman is in charge of da booty.. but from reading forums, not a lot or, perhaps the guy is just too proud to post about being played like a violin.

I'm suspecting maybe this guy has a girlfriend whom he fights with often and he calls on you whenever he is having bad moments with his gf. When him and his girlfriend make-up...that's why he cancels on you or ignores you for a while.....until the next fight

and I think you project your own experience into this thread. It's possible that that is going on but it's more than likely that she is one of many, or he has a wife/gf and he just calls her when it's convenient, when she's going to be out with the girls or something or, he's just a player and he plays her well. Any guess will do I suppose. The bottomline is he's got all the power and he will likely rip her self-esteem right out from under her if she doesn't take that power back.

To add: if she really is cool with being treated indifferent then why jump when he calls? She should not agree to hook up when he asks... tell him she's busy and then reschedule for another day that week. If he's actually single, then there should be no reason why he can't agree to her request and actually show on the day arranged. If he hedges or doesn't show, well then she has her answer. If she doesn't care if he's married or otherwise involved, or treating her indifferently and arranges sex only when it suits HIM, then meh.. why start a thread?

JMO

[parkbom]

i agree with everyone, you are on his hook up list. It's sad I know, but he probably wanted to see if you be free to fool around and when he is bored out of his mind and he can't get another girl to fool around with, you will be available. So next time say you're busy and tell him to stop messaging you until he becomes a real man and take you out on a date. I been there before. I hung out and went to my friend's place and we made out/ He only wanted something something, I learned my lesson and I'm not going down that path anymore. I invited him over my house to play video games but he won't stop touching me, so I ignored him because he did not respect me. How can he respect you if you don't respect yourself?