is it too late...ive been feeling horrible for 3 years

[heavymetalkid]

ive been depressed for almost a whole year. it started when i told my long time crush i love her and the friendship (ive known her since 2007, im 18) got weaker and weaker since december 2010.

before that we would talk and i would talk to many other girls and friends and felt relatively happy. then when i told her she wasnt expecting it but understood since she known me for soo long and honestly felt bad.

throughout all of 2010 she would always be in the back of my mind so i made few friends. to help pass time i got a job and i like the job, its a small business and the people are nice and fun to talk to but i dont hang out with them.

in september we got a cute nice coworker who i blankly got a crush on but now its gone...haha. because she wouldnt answer my texts which isnt a good sign.

and tonight i was feeling lonely because i havent had much contact with people in a long time because i got mad at different points and got rid of their contact ino. on my phone.

i was looking at my neighbors (long time crush) myspace pictures from 2006-2008 (when she was 13 and i was 15) and i just broke down crying. i remember how i thought she was soo annoying for always hanging with my brother at the time (and no, they didnt like each other), and now i think i truly love her, even though we havent talked in person since september, and we dont even hold texting conversations because shes busier and has a boyfriend.

i just feel horrible, ive always been quieter in school which im going back to tomorrow...and this girl hasnt left my mind since january 2009...i feel horrible and through out these few years ive been thinking of her and dont know how to solve this!!!

[smackie9]

Find something else to focus on....maybe find an interest that challenges you or activity you could feel passionate about.

[bulrush]

People with depression often have nothing to be passionate about, that's one symptom of depression. They have no emotions for much of anything, good emotions or bad. It's like their emotional experience of the world is always "gray", or numb. But yes, I still say try to avoid thinking about this person. You know it's not going to work out with your neighbor. So try to think of something else. You have to get yourself out of a rut.

Maybe you have developed clinical depression, set off by this disappointing news. Maybe meds will help you, or counseling. Usually people do both, counseling and meds. Try to look into it.

[smackie9]

Well duh.....that is why I suggest him to find something or to try something that could result in him being passionate about.....to change his focus onto something positive. Of course this won't happen over night....best to put in an effort and see if it will resolve this rut instead of running to a doctor to find a pill to cure it.

[heavymetalkid]

my parents suggested a doctor back in june and i was seeing therapy and taking pills for depression from june to november but i dont think they helped so i stopped both of them...

also i tried talking to other girls but when i come in contact with girls/friends i loose motivation and just stayed home and slept

[searock]

You should definitely keep getting professional help. I suggest you keep off meds unless strictly necessary, but do get therapy. Perhaps try another doctor if you feel with your old one it wasn't working? It sounds like you suffer from depressive episodes. Feeling like "nothing is working or is ever going to change" is part of it. The fact that you are writing on this forum means that you are strong and want to change, no matter how hard it can be to believe in it. Therapy will do wonders for you, I assure you. Don't give up on it after such a short time.