Im not quite sure if im into her... Maybe i just cant admit it to myself.

[Reeses]

Hey,

Im a freshman in high school and ive known this sophomore girl for 4-5 years now. Shes liked me on and off and has a boyfriend now (whom she complains to me about), but still texts me and always talks with me at church. Before when she first told me she liked me (4 years ago), i didnt really know if i felt the same way, but now im leaning on yes.

Every time i see her i cant help but smile (last time i walked toward her and just couldnt keep from smiling)and feel really happy for no apparent reason. I feel like i can talk to her about anything, and shes the only girl who ive ever really felt comfortable around. My friends and sister think shes a psycho, especially my friend. Ive been joking lately about asking her out and my friends just say "dude are you stupid?", but although its just jokes, i feel like theres some part of me that really wants to make it happen? But then again im not sure.

My sister says shes still into me since she texts me so often, but i think im already in the friend zone after pretty much rejecting her 4 years ago... but im really not concerned with what she feels about me, i cant dven get my own feelings sorted out. Help? :/

[Boisdevie]

She has a boyfriend = she is jerking your chain my friend. She likes to play. Leave her alone.

[SplendidGray]

You are right about the friend zone thing. Girls love to get emotional coddling from guys they like, and if they can get close to one and put him into the friend zone then they will do just that. They like to put you on their key-chain, right next to their chapstick, to use you whenever they feel insecure. However, this only means they like something you can give them, it doesn't mean they want to be with you. If she wanted you to be her boyfriend then she would dump this guy and be with you.

If you are in the friend zone (and you are, I promise) then your chances of ever being with this girl have majorly decreased. The reason is this: girls confide in their friends to make them feel secure and get emotional coddling, but they want their boyfriend to think they are strong, confident, sexy, and perfect. The friend sees her for who she really is, at her worst and at her best, and this terrifies her. Most women, especially high school women, want to use their boyfriend for "Ego-Reflection". This means that if they can convince their boyfriend that they are perfect, then they will see a perfect reflection in the mirror and this will make them feel good. It's not uncommon for a girl to break up with a guy simply because she doesn't she has convinced him that she is 100% perfect and thus feels insecure.

In summary, since you are in the friend zone it means you know too much about her, and she will likely have less desire to be with you. However, if she happens to have a little more depth than most women, you may have a chance if you flat out tell her how you feel and that you want her to dump her BF and be with you. This will likely destroy the friendship, but if being in the friend zone is tormenting you then its a win-win - either you move on to better things or you get to be with her. Good luck.

[Red Apollo]

Girls who already have boyfriends are way more trouble then they are actually worth. Especially at your age, where you will change partners more often than square dancers. Elevating your feelings for her to anything more than friends will most likely end in disaster. Right now, you are just the guy she uses to make herself feel better when her boyfriend drops the ball. Also, all your friends thinking she is nuts couldn't be a coincidence. They aren't necessarily right, but their opinions are at least worth taking a look at. Sometimes we get blinded by our own emotions and are completely blind to painfully obvious situations.

Find yourself a nice single girl. It will save you a lot of stress and aggravation.

[Reeses]

Girls who already have boyfriends are way more trouble then they are actually worth. Especially at your age, where you will change partners more often than square dancers. Elevating your feelings for her to anything more than friends will most likely end in disaster. Right now, you are just the guy she uses to make herself feel better when her boyfriend drops the ball. Also, all your friends thinking she is nuts couldn't be a coincidence. They aren't necessarily right, but their opinions are at least worth taking a look at. Sometimes we get blinded by our own emotions and are completely blind to painfully obvious situations.

Find yourself a nice single girl.

I always kind of knew in the back of my head that being with her would be a bad idea... too much history is bad I suppose, I guess I need someone new in my life (or maybe not need, but want).

You are right about the friend zone thing. Girls love to get emotional coddling from guys they like, and if they can get close to one and put him into the friend zone then they will do just that. They like to put you on their key-chain, right next to their chapstick, to use you whenever they feel insecure. However, this only means they like something you can give them, it doesn't mean they want to be with you. If she wanted you to be her boyfriend then she would dump this guy and be with you.

If you are in the friend zone (and you are, I promise) then your chances of ever being with this girl have majorly decreased. The reason is this: girls confide in their friends to make them feel secure and get emotional coddling, but they want their boyfriend to think they are strong, confident, sexy, and perfect. The friend sees her for who she really is, at her worst and at her best, and this terrifies her. Most women, especially high school women, want to use their boyfriend for "Ego-Reflection". This means that if they can convince their boyfriend that they are perfect, then they will see a perfect reflection in the mirror and this will make them feel good. It's not uncommon for a girl to break up with a guy simply because she doesn't she has convinced him that she is 100% perfect and thus feels insecure.

So painfully true.