Did i do right thing

[claire983]

Did i do the right thing
Hello everybody i would like some opinions about my situation..5 months ago i was working with my ex who hurt me so bad i left our work place due to medical reason cause of him he basicaly gave me so much hard time at work mixing our private life into the work so due to the stress i end up with serious health issues..so i had to take medical and go home..the same day he totally discarded me not even saying at least goodbye to me knowing that we will never see again...we live in different continents..

After period of one month i've sent him 2 msg at least to tell me why refuse to talk to me to which he replyed to me **** off i don't want to talk to you using caps letter and blocked me the same minute on facebook...it was very hard for me to go on with my life never knowing why he was angry with me if anyone had reason not to talk i was the one not him..

Anyway it went 4 monhs and my doctor told me i'm ready to go back and when we contacted my employers they told me that i'm not gonna be able anymore to work for them only cause my ex wrote my evaluation using the minimal mistakes which i've done such as i gave him attitude which was not the case...my fault was that i never reported him in the office so now i end fired cause of him...

It wasn't enough for him that he hurt me emotional i end up medical cause of him and now after 4 months only to be fired from him...so i had enough and yesterday i send him long letter basicaly me telling him everything that he never gave me a chance...i told him how much he hurt me which i never told him before i just learn how to live without him and asking myself what i have done to him..but after this i couldn't keep it to myself..i had to let him know what he have done to me..and the irony of whole story was that he was angry with me like a kill his familly..i stil don't know what was his reasons for him not to talk to me ever again...and now i don't even care...

So my question is would you send email to somebody who clearly destroy your life telling him that he was your biggest mistake...

I would like some insights please..

[Saya]

I wouldn't send my ex or someone who destroy something. Kind of waste of my time and waste of an effort of writing that person a letter explaining.

You just think of it like a it's a fact of life and not only you, but a lot of people go through this.
All you can do is move on, don't think about what happened.

I mean, he clearly hates you now so why bother interfere him even more by sending him a letter saying all this negative things?
What is the point of you sending him the letter? What is this going to solve?
Sometimes people can't stay friends/keep in touch with their exs weather or not you or him the one who broke up.... and sometimes they become mean to each other.

[claire983]

Tnx for your reply i know that it wouldn't solve anything but i had to let it go from my chest...he need to know how much he affect me in my life as he knew it he overreacted with me as the last time i talked to him he said that he is sorry for what he done to me and didn't realise how much he overreacted..

I just wanted to let him know that i suffer from his personal reason towards me..I do not expect any reply i'm not even sure if he ever read that email as i might be blocked on there too..i've done for myself

Anyway tnx for your opinion..

[Saya]

Well do what makes you feel better.
Do you feel relief now?
Are you able to move on from what happens and move on with your life?
I suppose, at least he understand and said sorry to you for what he did.

[claire983]

Yes i feel releif altough i'm still having hard time to accept that i will be not able to go back to work or to even trust any other guy..what would be the point anymore i mean if someone who was involved with you to betrayed me on this way..i feel that i would be more carefull now who to give my love...i know that not every guy is like him....but still i'm gonna need a lot of time to ever trust again...i'm still young though i will find another job...it is just lessons learned on hard way..
Tnx so much for your reply...

[Saya]

This is why you shouldn't get involve with someone who you are working at the same company because if things doesn't work well between you two, it would be awkward.
If you can't work well at work then it would create problems at work and to other employees as well.
Learn from your mistake and not to do it again.

[smackie9]

This is why you shouldn't get involve with someone who you are working at the same company because if things doesn't work well between you two, it would be awkward.
If you can't work well at work then it would create problems at work and to other employees as well.
Learn from your mistake and not to do it again.

BINGO! this was your biggest mistake, not him, but the fact you dated someone you work with. No matter who got the s hitty end of the break up stick, if it's a bad break up you have created a hostile workplace for yourself and the others around you. This is one of those hard knocks of life a lot of us go through.

After any break up, it's always best to just cut the cord and walk away. Doesn't matter how much you tell them how bad they treated you or how sorry your were...they don't want to listen because they want to get on with their life. You make yourself look like an idiot for going after them and you get labeled "the psycho ex GF". So now that you have recovered, it's best to dust yourself off, and spend your energy on positive things.....stop dragging yourself down over this....it's a big waste of time.

[claire983]

Well tnx for yours opinions..but i clearly do not consider myself as psycho ex...as i send only 2 msg asking him what happened to him to not choose to say atleast goodbye to me..the last time i saw him he was obviously very angry at me..so i ask him trough msg if i maybe had done to him something to upset him..and i think that he choose so wrong way of ending things between us i wasn't asking for reconcilation or something like that..i just think that i desrved at least goodbye and take care...anyway after i find out that i lost my job cause of him i couldn't keep it to myself so i told him that i'm now glad that he is not part of my life anymore and i dont ask myself anymore why he was angry...

[smackie9]

So sorry you lost your job....that's a tough pill to take in this economy for sure. Life sure can throw you some curve balls. btw I didn't accuse you of being a psycho ex....I meant that is what he thinks of you, and possibly saying that about you....very unfair....he's very unprofessional, and sucks in the human being dept.