Is it too irrational to ask my boyfriend to?

[Twiz]

Cut his hair? I want him to be happy, but his hair has been one unflattering length for a while. Every time I suggest how I think layers or whisps in his hair would be attractive, flatter his face/body, and how I think it's hot he will always tell me how "I want to keep it how it is" or "I'll think about it" or "sometime again I'll style it". I almost give up. Is it too much to ask to get it styled? Or is it controlling? I'd NEVER make him cut his hair, but I'd LOVE if it was, it'd be a huge turn on! And I tell him that and he is stubborn about it. And the thing is I always ask him what he thinks is hot and take his suggestions and wear what he likes or do what he likes and I'm suggesting one thing I'd think would be hot and he just doesn't want to.

Guys, what do you think? If your GF suggested you style your hair a certain way or if they said they found something hot/attractive would you do it for them?

[sadie_genie]

It is not unreasonable. A guy who cannot make even a small adjustment for his girlfriend is going to have problems with making other adjustments later on in the relationship.

[Twiz]

I just notice so many other guys are willing to do something small like cut their hair if their girlfriend would suggest it or do other things like that. I don't ask for much. He's telling me he does't understand why I would like him to cut it so much and I keep saying I'd just find it attractive and a turn on and all he said was "ok then". Like really? I'm just saying a suggestion and what I think would flatter him and I'm getting attitude about it?

[Hookahmike]

Its not but u have to understand a guys thinking. styling doesnt really come into it, the legnth of his hair doesnt bother him or cause issues its not going to get cut till it does. the fact that you are making an issue out of smething so small says your a bit of a shallow pain in the ass though

[Twiz]

It's one little suggestion, I'm not shallow or a pain in the ass. I'd never make him cut his hair and I don't find him unattractive or repulsive with the length. but having it more styled is just a suggestion, not a demand. I love him regardless of what he does. I want him to be happy. He suggests things to me of what he likes and finds hot and I do it for him. I say one simple thing of what I think would look nice and he's unwilling.

[Hookahmike]

Look we are all a bit shallow its the basic principle behind physical attraction, but again you need to see this as a guy, it seems counter intuitive but if you ask him to cut it he probably will, because styling just seems so pointleess to us its time and money that could be spent better

[smackie9]

Guys like comfort, so that's why they will wear that tshirt with the holes in it, show up for dinner in their favorite sweat shirt, and won't shave off that beard. They hate change, in fact they fear it. That is what makes women and men so different.....we love to do a new hair color, etc. That is just they way men are....suck it up.

Trust me it only gets worse when they get older.

[Twiz]

He had it styled in the past. When I first met him 2 years ago his hair was styled. I loved it then. As people notice the opposite sex it's of course physical attraction at first. His hair, and his smile were the first things that caught my interest. But he decided to grow it out and has since that point had it one length. He says it's easier to just have it longer, which is understandably a guy thing. They don't necessarily want to sit there and take a half hour or more styling their hair everyday just so it looks nice. They don't really care about stuff like that, I get that.

He just likes it longer. Which I want him to have it how he likes it since it's his body. I find him attractive either way and love him for way more than just how he looks. I don't mind if he keeps it longer, that's his choice. I tried suggesting what I'd think would be nice and well he wasn't fond of the idea. I'd never make him do anything, I'm not like that. Everyone has certain things they find attractive. My boyfriend let's me know what he finds attractive and I do all the things he says he likes. So in retrospect it's not the worst thing ever for me to suggest something like a haircut/style that I find attractive to him.

[Jarndyce]

Depends on the relationship. Men can be stubborn too, so if you're making a deal about it, he probably won't budge by the sounds of it. You've made your opinion known, now leave him to decide what to do with his hair. He might agree with you, but not be willing to concede the point, or he might simply like it that way, in which case he obviously won't be thanking you for trying to change him.

He probably likes independence, and his mates would tease him if he showed out as being trained so much that his girlfriend tells him when and how to get his hair cut.

[Superfantastich]

I once had a nice clean cut boyfriend and a year later he turned into a dirty wizard version of john lennon

[smackie9]

I once had a nice clean cut boyfriend and a year later he turned into a dirty wizard version of john lennon

LOL! That's awesome. And they say women are the ones that let themselves go!

[smackie9]

He had it styled in the past. When I first met him 2 years ago his hair was styled. I loved it then. As people notice the opposite sex it's of course physical attraction at first. His hair, and his smile were the first things that caught my interest. But he decided to grow it out and has since that point had it one length. He says it's easier to just have it longer, which is understandably a guy thing. They don't necessarily want to sit there and take a half hour or more styling their hair everyday just so it looks nice. They don't really care about stuff like that, I get that.

He just likes it longer. Which I want him to have it how he likes it since it's his body. I find him attractive either way and love him for way more than just how he looks. I don't mind if he keeps it longer, that's his choice. I tried suggesting what I'd think would be nice and well he wasn't fond of the idea. I'd never make him do anything, I'm not like that. Everyone has certain things they find attractive. My boyfriend let's me know what he finds attractive and I do all the things he says he likes. So in retrospect it's not the worst thing ever for me to suggest something like a haircut/style that I find attractive to him.

It sounds like a case of getting too comfortable in the relationship.....maybe direct some of your attention harmlessly elsewhere.

[Red Apollo]

You made your opinion known, he took it into consideration and left it long. End of story? I don't really see the problem. You ask for his opinion on things, and then reinvent your taste for him. He didn't ask what you think about his hair, because as guys, we don't typically change the way we dress or carry ourselves on someones suggestion. We do what we want, when we want. If he wants his hair cut, he will cut it. I myself have no problems taking suggestions from my girlfriend, but when it comes down to hair/facial hair specifically, its my body and it represents me, I get the final say. I don't see how that is unreasonable.

Just because you want to change yourself to be everything he likes (Which he probably doesn't even expect you to.) doesn't mean he is going to want to change himself to be everything you want.

[bcgirl]

what if your boyfriend told you to cut your long hair because he thinks pixie cuts are hot?!!!

[searock]

He didn't ask what you think about his hair, because as guys, we don't typically change the way we dress or carry ourselves on someones suggestion.

How is this a gender thing?! I know guys who follow suggestions and girls who don't. It has nothing to do with gender.

I think the OP's issue is a more general one - she feels like she is doing something to make her bf happy, yet she feels like he isn't reciprocating. OP, does something similar happen in other situations as well? Or is it just about the haircut?