So what now?

[SapphireBerry]

So I met a guy at a local club a week or so ago who was doing a set as the DJ, he was a very genuine guy and it was all casual, I had the confidence to speak to him and vice versa. Anyways I wasn't too interested at first because I was already caught up with someone else who was foolin me round but I still approached him. That night me, the DJ, my mate and his mates all went back to his place. There we slept together.. I NEVER do that with someone I just met (and yes, dw we used protection).

Anywho, we sorta got to know each other then and there that night just asking casual questions bout each other and he told me some things that were pretty personal about his childhood and stuff like that and I was sorta tryna keep my cool cuz the last guy I was caught up with told me that I could come off as too 'eager' sometimes and too 'foreword' (but that's just who I am as a person, I do speak my mind even when it's not always necessary).

Continuing.. I only just really realized that this guy is a really awesome guy. He took care of me, drove me AND my mate all the way from out West where his place was back to my place (you can't trust some people you meet with that sorta thing, cuz they can ditch you in a situation like that but I sorta felt like I could trust him).

First time we slept together I wasn't feeling it at all because in some ways I wasn't used to just a random hook up and I didn't trust that what were doing was 100% safe. He told me he'd been recently with a piece of work of a girlfriend so he too (JUST LIKE THE OTHER GUY) wasn't down for anything major and I mean neither am I but I do want this guy to show me some respect.

And just this Wednesday I was with the DJ's best mate (his ultimate bro for life) and even he was saying that he was into me. Unfortunately DJ face was working that day but after work I sent him a text and he actually came all the way out to where we were chilling and drinking and he picked us up along with another good friend of his and we were initially planning on crashing at his best mates until there was no key to get inside, so we left his best mate to find his way in and I ended up back at the DJ's place out West again and same thing as Wednesday ended up happening, but it was much more meaningful and I was totally into it. But everytime I told him he was gorgeous or whatever he would be all like "idk why you think that I am", as if he was super insecure.

He was all over me though and telling me he was feeling happy etc.. But just when we were up and hanging out with his best mate he was holding me and being sweet but then again he kept his distance even when I told him I was into him. He is pretty much a walking statistic this one and I don't really wanna ask him what the deal is and what he wants in fear that it might just end up being another repeat of what happened with the other guy and it'll end up being a total misunderstanding on both parts, and so what I wanna know is what should I do. I'm not contacting him right now but I'd appreciate it if I knew what the deal was with him.

The reason I aint messaging him and stuff is because I don't want him to think I'm chasing and that was the problem with the last guy. Do I just leave this alone or do I talk to him and tell him that I want him to see me as more than just a hook up, cuz I'd appreciate a date at least not just a screw every single week. Sorry it's long I just thought I could get some advice. I've never done this before...

[bulrush]

The reason I aint messaging him and stuff is because I don't want him to think I'm chasing and that was the problem with the last guy.

If you are talking about fearing "chasing" him, then you still think this is a big game. Adults do not play games, they just ask the person directly what they want to know. An adult will also give a direct and honest answer. But the ultimate decision is still up to you.

Do I just leave this alone or do I talk to him and tell him that I want him to see me as more than just a hook up, cuz I'd appreciate a date at least not just a screw every single week.

An adult would talk to him directly and respectfully, without assuming anything. You will never know if you never ask.

[asdfg789]

@OP, if i recall correctly, you are in your late teens ? It appears you have a tendency to rush into relationships. I dont think this guy is ready for one. Take it easy and see how things go for the next few "encounters". Instead of asking directly what he wants, you can also suggest to him about doing other things together like going to the movies, going to the beach, going for walks etc and see how he responds. It will become clear very soon if he is only interested in sex, at which point, you can make a decision if you just want to be his booty call.