Am I overreacting?

[DailyGrinder]

Hi, I just wanted to get this out and make sure I was right in my reaction. My ex and I dated for 3 years and then broke up. She was seeing someone in the 4 months that we've been apart, but has regularly made mention of us working things out. Sure, I can't be mad about her seeing someone in the interim. But I have told her that we can not work things out as long as she continues to see him or spend time with him. She mentioned that they are no longer seeing each other. Yesterday she told me that she wanted things to work out between us and that she would like for us to work on our communication, which was pretty bad. After she told me this she mentioned that she was going out with friends but did not mention that he would be there. I told her that there is no way this can work out if she continues to spend any time with him. She knows it bothers me, but somehow doesn't get it that it does. I feel that she is disregarding my feelings for her own benefit and because she's just having too much fun and that she just doesn't want to face the issues we have, like trust. It's like she's hedging her bets. She has mentioned that she knows she has to make a choice but has flip-flopped on it for almost 3 months. I feel that how can you build trust and work things out if you are still spending time with someone else. If he were just a friend obviously it would be different. But she has mentioned that she has feelings for him and that she thinks she's falling in love with him. Which obviously means she has no idea what she's doing. Am I wrong in being angry that this has continued?

[Wakeup]

Why are you even entertaining her by giving her your attention and continuing to tell her that you want her while she does NOTHING to come back to you on your terms, terms that are reasonable and that any woman who knew what she wanted (you) would gladly give up if they actually were meaning what they were saying.

She says one thing to you but her actions do not match what she is saying thus her words mean sweet eff all, at least in the sense that she just wants you and only you. You dig? You'd do well to tell her to stop contacting you until she's willing to match her actions with her words. Why should she stop seeing him when you keep entertaining her bs? If she never calls you again, you'll be far better off for it than staying and she cheats on you with the guy she won't give up for you. No? She "thinks she is falling in love with him." Geeze she's practically hit you up side the head with her ultimate intentions. (that being having both of you.. I think you'll be the piece on the side, though)

[VincenzoG91]

You are overreacting to the faint possibility of hope that she is dangling before you. Next time she calls you, do yourself a favor and bang your head a few times against the nearest wall instead of talking to her, because you will feel better afterwards. Then change her contact name on your phone to "don't answer/don't call." Move on.

[DailyGrinder]

I appreciate the honesty.

[smackie9]

Hi, I just wanted to get this out and make sure I was right in my reaction. My ex and I dated for 3 years and then broke up. She was seeing someone in the 4 months that we've been apart, but has regularly made mention of us working things out. Sure, I can't be mad about her seeing someone in the interim. But I have told her that we can not work things out as long as she continues to see him or spend time with him. She mentioned that they are no longer seeing each other. Yesterday she told me that she wanted things to work out between us and that she would like for us to work on our communication, which was pretty bad. After she told me this she mentioned that she was going out with friends but did not mention that he would be there. I told her that there is no way this can work out if she continues to spend any time with him. She knows it bothers me, but somehow doesn't get it that it does. I feel that she is disregarding my feelings for her own benefit and because she's just having too much fun and that she just doesn't want to face the issues we have, like trust. It's like she's hedging her bets. She has mentioned that she knows she has to make a choice but has flip-flopped on it for almost 3 months. I feel that how can you build trust and work things out if you are still spending time with someone else. If he were just a friend obviously it would be different. But she has mentioned that she has feelings for him and that she thinks she's falling in love with him. Which obviously means she has no idea what she's doing. Am I wrong in being angry that this has continued?

Wow, my friend is in a situation like that but he's the guy she has been seeing for 3 months. She has been teetering between the both of them since the ex moved to her city. You live in Australia by any chance? lol just kidding......I agree with the others to back off so you can move on. I hinted the same thing to my friend.

[DailyGrinder]

My problem is that I suffer from depression. Usually, I can handle it on a day to day basis. But I suck at break-ups. I become this debilitating shell of myself become almost paralyzed by the loss and go through highs and lows. Sure, a lot of people probably do. I know that it is a daily struggle to work on keeping myself going. I was happy with what I had, so any time she does say "dangle hope" in front of me I start to get excited. But obviously as has been stated above, she is no longer considerate of my feelings and not willing to match her actions to her words. I often wonder what her deal is.

Also, if someone can shed light on this: she has become very critical of my life. She criticizes what I do, where I go, my friends and what I watch on TV. What the hell is that about?

I understand what I should do, but can someone help me understand this all?

[VincenzoG91]

My problem is that I suffer from depression. Usually, I can handle it on a day to day basis. But I suck at break-ups. I become this debilitating shell of myself become almost paralyzed by the loss and go through highs and lows. Sure, a lot of people probably do. I know that it is a daily struggle to work on keeping myself going. I was happy with what I had, so any time she does say "dangle hope" in front of me I start to get excited. But obviously as has been stated above, she is no longer considerate of my feelings and not willing to match her actions to her words. I often wonder what her deal is.

Also, if someone can shed light on this: she has become very critical of my life. She criticizes what I do, where I go, my friends and what I watch on TV. What the hell is that about?

I understand what I should do, but can someone help me understand this all?

She is losing interest in you. Maybe the two of you aren't really a good match, and she is beginning to see that. Or maybe she fails to appreciate your good qualities because the other guy is distracting her. Either way, you are better off just moving on and starting over with somebody else.

[oldskool83]

they make new women everyday....just remeber that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bulrush]

Sounds like you are right to ask for some respect, which she isn't giving you. I say, go see other girls who will actually show you some respect, instead of playing games like this.

Sounds like she wants to see you both, but doesn't want to choose, so she strings you along with lies like "we might work out someday" blah blah blah.

[DailyGrinder]

they make new women everyday....just remeber that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This made me laugh.

[bcgirl]

My problem is that I suffer from depression. Usually, I can handle it on a day to day basis. But I suck at break-ups. I become this debilitating shell of myself become almost paralyzed by the loss and go through highs and lows. Sure, a lot of people probably do. I know that it is a daily struggle to work on keeping myself going. I was happy with what I had, so any time she does say "dangle hope" in front of me I start to get excited. But obviously as has been stated above, she is no longer considerate of my feelings and not willing to match her actions to her words. I often wonder what her deal is.

Also, if someone can shed light on this: she has become very critical of my life. She criticizes what I do, where I go, my friends and what I watch on TV. What the hell is that about?

I understand what I should do, but can someone help me understand this all?

i think part of the reason why you suffer from depression is because you allow the negativities in your life to stay with you instead of swatting them away. Your girlfriend is obviously poison to you....she's cheated on you, she is in-love with another guy and she tells you that flat out to your face, she tells you that the relationship needs more communication but she doesn't want to follow by your rules of honesty...it's her way and she knows that you will be her puppet. You need to step up and be a man. She see's how weak you are and that is why she can criticize you without any penalty. She can do whatever she pleases without penalty. Why do you think there are laws in society that people need to follow or else they go to jail or need to pay a fine? Because if we didn't have penalties for people's actions...they would run wild and there would be major chaos. Human beings aren't saints by nature...they have a bad, evil side to them that needs to be tamed. You aren't taming her and just allowing her to run wild and free and hurt you if she feels like it. She will cheat on you again...there is no doubt about it. You need to show her that there are major consequences for her actions. Dump her sorry ass and get yourself straightened out to stand up for yourself.