I need some advice...

[Axel9470]

About six months ago i met a girl at band camp. I like her A LOT. I', quite positive that she likes me as well, but, she lives like 650 miles away. That is a problem. Since I'm only 17 and i haven't got a regular income I'm having trouble in finding a way to see her. She has the same problem since we are the same age. We write to each other as often as possible but I feel really lonely since at band camp we shared a room and saw each other every hour of the day, a couple of days after we met we even started sharing a bed, we never got intimate, for obvious reasons, but that meant that i spent all my time with her. Now when I'm at home I almost never see anyone and all my friends live to far away for it to be fun to go to them during the days, that means that the only time i see people is at school and all my time at home is all homework and then waiting for a message from my crush from band camp. I really don't know what to do, this girl is the most beautiful girl I've ever met and she is the nicest one as well, while I'm fat and ugly, but i won't be able to see her until 6 months for now. Should i go for the band camp girl or should i try to meet someone else who lives closer to me? (sorry for rambling but I'm kinda frustrated)

[smackie9]

Life can be so unfair eh? Long distance relationships can fail so horribly. You will have to talk to her about this. If she is on board and is willing to have this type of relationship, you two can talk and see each other using Skype. Invest in a web cam and a headset. If you don't have much privacy, you can web cam and use msn messenger. Lots of people are able to do LDR's, but there are risks.....but what is life if you don't take risks.....life would be so boring! Keep me posted on your progress.

[Axel9470]

Thank you! Indeed life is cruel... the problem with skype is that she has limited access to a computer. :/ Since her family is big and their not very good at technical stuff they only have one computer to share, and with a bad internet connection. The only time we can talk in real time is when she's at school and have her school computer. Other times we send messages on facebook, often only 1 time a day.

[smackie9]

I'm sure you two will figure something out to make things better.

[Boisdevie]

Guy chances are this will not work. There is simply too much distance so you'll hardly ever see her. So what is the point of that you'd be wasting your life.

[smackie9]

Relationships in the best of circumstances don't survive. He is enjoying what he has for the meantime. When he feels he can no longer do this anymore, surely he will move on when he is ready to.

[Axel9470]

The thing is that i will be going to collage in a little less than one and a half years. And the collage i have applied to is just a 20 minute buss ride from where she lives, and i might even be living in the same city as her while I'm studying. When I'm done with my 4 year education we will both be 22 and then if we are in a serious relationship we will probably move in together. But I can't really imagine how it's going to be to sit here all alone for one and a half years. And during all that time I need to keep her interested in me, since we are not in a relationship just yet. Right now I think that the only chance that this will work is if i go to see her so that I can know if she really feels as much for me as i do for her.

[Boisdevie]

So in a year and a half you might be going to college near to where she lives? And then you're thinking when we graduate we can live together.

Get a grip. You are 17. This is not going to happen no way no how.

But please feel free to continue with your fantasy life..........

[Axel9470]

Wow that was crude, i do not think u really comprehend my living situation or my intelligence. I do not live in the US, i live in Sweden. Things works a little differently here. I already have my own car, an apartment with 3 rooms 2 bathrooms and a kitchen. I got all A:s in school and I'm going to one of the most respectable collages in Sweden while my grandparents pay for all living and school expenses and i already been guaranteed a job as an engineer at a factory not far from here. I have my future set. The only thing i want is someone to share it with. And then i met this perfect girl, we both dream about the same thing, to get married, have children and to live together. That is my only and biggest dream. I have to thank you, you just gave me another reason to keep pursuing my dream! To prove you wrong! Besides as soon as i turn 18 i can visit her at least once a month and then things will become much easier.

[Boisdevie]

I obviously misjudged you. Even though you are only 17 you have everything worked out perfectly. Good luck.
When I was 17 I knew **** all.

By the way, I belive the Swedish word for irony is 'ironi'

[Axel9470]

Since i have a light case of Asperger syndrome I have a hard time coping with stuff i have not planned, that's why I have prepared the most important things in my life already.

[smackie9]

Well here is something about human nature.....When people are in love....not old love but new new love, they will talk about the future, marriage, etc. The thing is that's all it is, it's just talk and not to be taken as promises. Even tho you have your future all planned, love and relationships DO NOT work that way. Relationships are unpredictable especially at your age. As you get older, and you become more adult and not dependent on your grandparents, you will think differently about yourself, your likes and dislikes change, as well as your goals, and priorities. When you are 17, you think you know it all, but well you don't. You have to gain life experience, learn harsh lessons, to help you mature and make better choices. That's just how it works. So you can have it all planned out but your life can take a totally different path. Nothing wrong with just living in the present for now because who knows where this is going to be a year from now. Maybe it's just worth it to be just friends, and date others. It's up to you to make that choice, and not strangers on the net.

[searock]

Wow, are all Swedish kids that lucky to have such wealthy families? Car and apartment at 17, paid college and a secure job soon after? Wow o_o.

[Axel9470]

Yea but all my "luck" comes from good planning on my grandparent's side. They didn't live very good so they saved up and made wise investments all their life so that their daughter, my mom, and now I can get a good life. And through all of this i should be completely independent and without loans by the time i turn 25. I will do the same for my kids and i hope they will do the same for theirs.