Boyfriend runs hot and cold

[shelter2011]

Can't believe I'm posting this, I'm in my 40's seperated and began talking to an old classmate 10 months ago, we e-mail and chat, but live a large distance from one another, he's never been married, introverted, lacks self-confidence, we confided in each other and before you know it, he professed his love for me, a month later, I did the same, our plans are to meet this summer. The problem is this: one night he is the most romantic man on the planet, the next night, he is almost like a stranger, it's been this way from the beginning, there are obvious mood swings, and he is depressed and much of a loner, this past week, we chat once a week for 6 or more hours, we e-mailed almost daily for awhile, this past week, he e-mailed twice, am I kidding myself here? Is this a joke? I won't chase him, but I hate the way he's up and down all the time, one minute I'm positive he loves and wants me, the next minute I'm miserable thinking it's over, what causes a man to be so smitten one minute and distant the next, all he ever says is I'm out of his league and he worries I won't want him when we meet, maybe he's right, I'm ready to throw in the towel, he makes me feel like a princess some days and a stranger other days, why is this? Are other men like this? I was married 22 years, but never was involved with a man like this!

[smackie9]

He suffers from social anxiety, so all the negative stuff that he says is out of his anxiety. You have to be patient with him....maybe even encourage him to seek out some therapy. Never having been in a relationship and quite possibly a virgin, this is very very stressful for someone with this condition. He doesn't have the skills to be in a romantic situation. Do your research to understand his condition better and don't take his behavior personally......be supportive, learn more about the condition, and I'm sure things will start to settle down and get back to normal....just will take some time that is all.

[rin3paul]

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