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Thread: Other People's Perspectives Needed

  1. #1
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    Mar 2012
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    Other People's Perspectives Needed

    Hi, this is my first post on this website. My situation is as follows.

    I am a 21 year old man, and I've met a 22 year old woman. Right from the start we connected rapidly and became fast friends. We started hanging out and found that we had romantic feelings for each other. However I found out she is in the tail end of a relationship. Her and boyfriend have discussed how they both want to break up. They currently live together, and they're waiting to break things off when he can find a new place to live. This will all be happening the start of next week.

    On the issue of our feelings we have acted on them, but in non-sexual ways. Hugging, kissing, being intimate with another. We haven't had sex yet as we've both agreed it wouldn't be appropriate given that she is exiting her old relationship and will need to time to get over those feelings. I fully support her in this. We have become somewhat emotionally invested in one another, but not to the point of any kind of co-dependance. It's more like we both know we can talk to one another about anything and trust that it stays between us. We've both stated our desire to be in a relationship with another. However I know she needs time to become comfortable with entering a new relationship. Having any kind of sexual relations with her during that time would in my opinion, ruin any chance we could have for a relationship. We've both talked about how getting into a rebound relationship would be wholly unfair to the both us.

    My questions is what will happen during her relationship grieving process? I would like this to work out, but the unpredictability of life gives me some reservations. What can I do, if anything to make sure this works? Also, given that we're both committed to making this work, does that improve our chances? I really like this girl. Any comments will be very much appreciated.

  2. #2
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    This is almost identical to how I met my current girlfriend. She was on the tail end of a relationship with her X and she actually pursued me. The thing is, she had been over this guy for months. She says that the only reason she was still with him is because she still cared about him as a person but the love was gone and anything intimate was gone. We went out after they had been broken up for a week. There was no grieving for her. If this girl you are seeing now is so done with this guy, then you don't need to wait for anything. Just don't rush into things, let it last. Me and my girl have been together for a year and several months. I wouldn't worry to much about anything except rushing into things. Good luck.

  3. #3
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    Wow, that's actually identical in every way to the situation I'm in now. I'm definitely going to take your advice and not rush anything. Thank you very much, that was enormously helpful!

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