My first Girlfriend cheated on me and accused me of rape.

[Farbod]

Hi my name is Farbod

I am 18 years old and and when I first started college I fell in love with a girl called gemma for the first time, I never had any relationship before then, she was never in a relationship too(that is what she said), the relashionship started when I made a facebook account with not my real details and said to her I liked her and after a while I told her who I was, and we soon after our relationship started.

Our relationship was very good to begin with, I used to walk to her house(about 2miles) everyday except sundays even when it was snowing heavily, But after about a months from when our relationship started I was introduced to someone called Luke, gemma said to me that he fancies her, since they were friends since she was a child, but she said she never had any relationship with him. I did not get freaked out or anything and very maturely said It's okay and I don't mind.

Luke stayed at gemmas house almost everyday of the week, as he did not have like to be with his own family, anyway on the new years eve 2009 when it was truning to 2010 gemma got drunked, she never drank alot, it was just on this occasaion, anyway she got drunk and kissed luck, her little sister annah (6 years old at time) said it when we were one day walking to the shops. and after that I got paranoid and ask her if she could stay away from him from now on but she said I was being controling, I was left devestated...

We lost our virginity to each other sometime in feb 2010, and we has a sexuall relationship from then on, and we carried on arguing about luck, since somethimes she said things to me like he has been taking her pictures and putting love hearts around it or that she got a piggyback of him, all this made me jealous since I was at home and they were in the same house and doing things I did not know...

One day when I went to her house she said "I dont wan't to do it anymore" and she eneded our reltaionship, I was left heartbroken and begged her not to do that, but she dumped me anyway, after that I went crazy I was asking everyone to help me and even came on yahoo asking for help.

I was very deppressed and had to take some time of college.

The one day I found out she started going out with luke the next day after we broke up and I messages her on youtube since she blocked me on facebook saying I hated her for leaving me for luke for that and that I hoped she dropped dead, she replied saying she did not leave me for him and that she would not say why she is with him since I would never believe her.

2 days later, the police came my house and arrested me and said I have been accused of rape, I was taken to the police station and despise the fact the day she accused me of she was at the doctors and that she lied about what she told to the police(since it was different from what she told college since she told college about the rape allegation and the college turned it to the police) I was still taken to court, even though she was pregnant with luke's baby, The college was very helpful to me and supported me, even her friends started being my friends and hated her since they knew how much I loved her and that I would never do anything that bad to anyone...She even came college one day holding lukes hand.

I was found innocent in court in the end, but that did not matter since the girl I loved did that to me, I am not saying I was an angel myself, I did get petty sometimes, I got jealous when she put "x's when she talked to boys, I called her a whore and said she deserved nothing but HIV when I messaged my friend when i found out she was with luke.

I did have another relationship after her, but that did not last long, I find it very hard to trust women after what she did, All I ever wanted was being In a romantic relationship where I was loved and wanted alot by my partner.

I am not saying she did not love me, she did love me, she even cried for a week (according to her) after we broke up.

after she accused me of rape I did not contact her, she is engaged to luke now and they have a baby boy and they are getting married in 6 months or so I got told.

I get very deperessed sometimes when I think about it, I see phsycologist but they did not help, I even tried comitting suicide a few days after she left me, I loved her alot and gave so much to her, she was scared of getting in busses,lifts and I got her used to it, I was eveb suppose to buy her an engagment ring for her birthday when I still with her. We broke up about1-2 years ago now.

I dont know what to think, please help me.


I am an very emotional person, and always wanted a girlfriend and fall i love, when I met gemma i thought my dreams came true, but she almost destroyed me.

I know people say you should move on, and I have. but I have been very hurt, and will never forget it.
I am scared to go into another serious relationship( I have not even came another person who like me for while) I am scared that she will cheat on me...even though I dont even know if there ever will be another girlfriend for me.

[Drew91]

That's a really bad way to start dating but doesn't mean anything about future relationships. I can't reallymgive you advice on how to get over it because it sounds like after all this time its still with you. But I would suggest that when you do date again to have it be someone that you can be friends with first, as that would help with the trust problems because you wouldn't be entering the relationship blind as to what kind of person they are

[IndiReloaded]

Assuming this is true you should be dancing a jig. A girl who accuses you of rape? You should be glad you escaped and feel very bad for her husband and baby. She's crazy.

You shouldn't have posted what you did on her Facebook, as you now know, it makes you look crazy and bad. But you were young and dumb. Don't ever get this crazy for a girl ever again. Focus on your studies and work and find a nice girl to date. Take your time.

[HeartIsAching]

Assuming this is true you should be dancing a jig. A girl who accuses you of rape? You should be glad you escaped and feel very bad for her husband and baby. She's crazy.

You shouldn't have posted what you did on her Facebook, as you now know, it makes you look crazy and bad. But you were young and dumb. Don't ever get this crazy for a girl ever again. Focus on your studies and work and find a nice girl to date. Take your time.

^^^This^^^

You escaped with a few bruises, thank your lucky stars. Trust me crazy people aren't good to be involved with.

[Farbod]

That's a really bad way to start dating but doesn't mean anything about future relationships. I can't reallymgive you advice on how to get over it because it sounds like after all this time its still with you. But I would suggest that when you do date again to have it be someone that you can be friends with first, as that would help with the trust problems because you wouldn't be entering the relationship blind as to what kind of person they are

I fell in love with her, Its very hard to control yourself.

I gave her so much but she did that to me.

[Farbod]

Assuming this is true you should be dancing a jig. A girl who accuses you of rape? You should be glad you escaped and feel very bad for her husband and baby. She's crazy.

You shouldn't have posted what you did on her Facebook, as you now know, it makes you look crazy and bad. But you were young and dumb. Don't ever get this crazy for a girl ever again. Focus on your studies and work and find a nice girl to date. Take your time.

she kissed this luck and lied to me, I loved her I could not help react badly when I found out she is going out with him one day after we broke up.

[bcgirl]

you know what....it's life. We have all suffered from heartbreak, that is part of life. You need to move on , one step at a time. You are still very young and have your whole future ahead of you.

[bcgirl]

i can assure you that your ex and luck's relationship isn't all rainbows and butterflies. I mean....i'm sure luck is insecure about her past with you. He is in an even worse position than you. He is with her...he has a baby with her....he is going to be married to her....this relationship probably won't last and she will probably cheat on him with someone else.

[IndiReloaded]

she kissed this luck and lied to me, I loved her I could not help react badly when I found out she is going out with him one day after we broke up.

Explain "react badly".

[Farbod]

Explain "react badly".

she blocked me on facebook, so I messaged her on youtbune saying "you left me for him, I will always hate you. I hope you drop dead".

she always said to me please never hate me. I know my words hurt her but she hurt me a million times worst.

[Farbod]

Also guy she will not cheat on luke, she just cheated on me with him because she wanted him more than me.
she is always inside her house, she is not out partying like the other girls.

so she will always be with him.

[Farbod]

i can assure you that your ex and luck's relationship isn't all rainbows and butterflies. I mean....i'm sure luck is insecure about her past with you. He is in an even worse position than you. He is with her...he has a baby with her....he is going to be married to her....this relationship probably won't last and she will probably cheat on him with someone else.

Funny thing is I dont want to hurt her, she tries to ruin my life and hurt me so bad.

But I would never want her yo be hurt. I hope her life is good.

I wish I could show you our entire relationship, but that recorded in my head...

[HeartIsAching]

Also guy she will not cheat on luke, she just cheated on me with him because she wanted him more than me.
she is always inside her house, she is not out partying like the other girls.

so she will always be with him.

I hope you don't really believe that. She will (yes WILL) find another guy she'll want more than Luke. It's how it works for cheaters.

Do NOT take this personally. She'll do it to him too.

[Farbod]

I believe I fell in love what a perfect version of her which was not her at all.
but i guess that true of most people falling in love with people.

[HeartIsAching]

I believe I fell in love what a perfect version of her which was not her at all.
but i guess that true of most people falling in love with people.

This is called having unrealistic expectations.