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Thread: I dont want to lose her please help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1

    I dont want to lose her please help

    Hello all

    I need advice from you knowledgeable females. Im a 23 year old male. A year ago I met a great girl while traveling on the other side of the country. I was only there a little while but we really hit it off even though she's only 18 (about to be 19). After I left we would call each other once in a while and stay in touch ( once a week or so). Few months later we both ended up in the same city and hung out for a few days. Went great. This time we were more physical and were laying watching movies and holding each other etc. We both went back to our home towns and would call and text every few days. A month goes by and I see her again ( i travel for work). this time its very short but we have some quality time together. When I get back from this trip, she is very into me and starts calling every day and texting more. We got on skype often as well. She was saying things like "when something happens during the day, you're the first person I want to tell" and asking me if she's bothering me if I have a lot of other girls Im talking to. I loved hearing from her and I felt like she was really into me.

    I assured her that she never bothered me and that I love hearing about her day. I said " do I ever bother you?" she said "no" So I said, then just know you never bother me!". I told her she can trust me and that I love talking to her. She would call me from work, sometimes several times and then on her way home from work every night. Id call her too and she always picked up and responded to texts. It seemed like I was in a good spot because even though I really like her, I had the feeling she was pursuing me. She would sometimes say things like "you're too nice.. you need to be meaner sometimes" But if I said Im not like that she would say , actually though I like how nice you are. She also teased me about being older and some physical things about me but it was always in a playful teasing manner.

    Fast forward a little bit. She called me 4 times one day and we talk about all kinds of stuff and I never got sick of hearing from her. great convo then both went to sleep. Then, next day, I didnt get anything from her. And another day went by. I hit her up, she didnt answer until later at night. She seemed little distant. I asked her why she wasnt calling as much. She said she's been busy. I told her that I dont want to bother her and asked if she wasnt interested in talking so much. She laughed a little and said no im just busy. But that was the start of me hearing less and less from her. Now if I text, sometimes she doesnt respond. I spoke with her a few days ago and said "how come I dont hear from you anymore? I feel like you're not around anymore" She kinda laughed and said "We do talk a lot.' I said " not really" she said "Wow now i know how a guy feels when a girl is saying this kinda stuff" That hit me hard because I felt like she was looking down on me and pitying me. I decided to be non chalant about it and we talked for a while more. She has an attitude now though like shes in control and knows it. I feel like I was too available and let her know I was into her too much so she lost interest. It's not even another guy shes seeing becuase I know several of her friends and they told me theres no guys in the picture. She said she hates her phone and doesnt like to talk on it to anyone so maybe shes just wants a lone time. She said she leaves the phone on silent and if she sees it, she sees it, if not, then oh well. I dont like to play games but should I just not contact her anymore and see if her interest goes back up in me?

    My gut says that she sees me now as a puppy with no mystery and no challenge and there's no way to fix it. Its a shame because I really loved hearing from her. She was the best parts of my day. Please let me know what I should do. I though of not picking up when she calls but I hate playing games especially when she probably doesnt even care if I dont pick up. I just miss the feeling of seeing her call because she wanted to share her day with me. it was such a precious thing and it went away so fast

    I know Ive been too available by always picking up and that I showed her I care too much. Ive hear that girls like when guys dont pick up everytime. She recently told me about the first guy she liked and how she liked him only while he liked her friend and then when he started likeing her, she lost interest. She says that was just becasue she was young but Im wondering if I fell into the same trap.

    Ive been trying to put distance with her by not calling or texting her. Shes called few times last week and we talked and sent a text but she used to call me everyday all tthe time and I could tell she couldnt wait to talk to me. I need to know if I blew it with her or can I get her interst back. I know shes not seeing any other guys because I know all her best friends and they said no. I dont want her to see me not calling or texting her and then she just fades away. Im hoping that if I dont reach out to her, she will miss me and I'll be more appealing.I see a lot of people say if a girl likes you, pulling away makes her like you more. Funny thing is a lot of other girls like me but I think about only her and it drives me nuts that we used to have this great thing and it all went away seemingly becaues I was just too nice! I hate how girls want you to be meaner. Anyway, please advise me: Should I just walk away and never pick up? Wait a week and if I get nothing, send a text or call? Im afraid shes going to forget about me if I play too far back. Give me your advice please especially girls who are 17- 19. Thanks a lot ppl I really appreciate it. Shes in my head all the time and I wan to know what to do. thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    8
    That's pretty tough. It's a bit hard to figure out what may be going through her head since I don't know her, but my theory would be maybe she was going through a rough patch in her life and really needed someone to talk to, especially since you were a sort of distant figure; so now maybe she's better, or (unlikely but possible) has found someone else to talk to?
    I'm a bit confused though, at the moment do you live in the same area? If so, do you ever see each other?
    Otherwise, I think you should try not contacting her for a little while, it is true that there's a good chance that'll make her want you more. I know when my ex did that, it would drive me mad and I'd really want to see/talk to him. By a little while though, I mean about a week, maybe ten days. If it's too long she'll move on.
    Good luck!

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