I have been thinking a lot about my situation lately. A hell of a lot. Usually, they've been the same or variations of the same. Which path should I take, which girl should I go with? Go for the surefire, or take a chance at the unsure?
Today, I asked myself in a less direct way.
Is being happy all I should ask for? Being with this one girl makes me happy. I forget about what's going on when I'm around her. She's a lot of fun. We talk a lot over the phone, we have known each other for over a year now, and we've always been extremely close (from within a month of knowing her). She lives right by where I may go to college in the fall. She really is a great person..
But should I be happy with it, even if I don't feel that special spark? There is this other girl that I have also talked to for a while, but due to time difference and the workload in school, I don't get to talk with her as much. She will be going to college on the east coast while I will be staying in California.
The only thing is... I feel like we connect. I connect with her on a deeper level than anyone I've ever known. It's like I've known her from a past life or something. We talk about all sorts of things, yet she makes every topic we talk about interesting, stimulating, and.. alluring.
I think about them both, but I always seem to long for the girl who I don't get to talk to as much unless I recently talked to the other girl. Something inside me tells me that this is.. love. That I am this piece to a jigsaw puzzle, and she is the one who fits right next to me, snug and secure. But life keeps us far away from each other, and I really don't know if we'll ever live close enough.
Is being happy with someone enough? Can someone live the rest of their life (or for a very long time) with someone who makes them happy... but they don't feel they love? And is this possible knowing that the one you feel is right is out there, and that you know her?
Are my dreams too outlandish? Is being happy all I can hope for, happiness without true love?