How do i decipher what he meant?

[help_me]

i had known this guys for 4 yrs... we are quite good friends...i have had feelings for him for quite sometime, but could never muster up the courage to tell him... sometime back he decided to move back to his country and i finally told him how i felt abt him... and he did reciprocate back... he said he did feel something for me and that i sud have let him known abt it long back... however he said that since he is moving away he doesnt think long distance stuffs wrks and he didnt want to mess up my life...i asked him if we cud give us a chance to which he said that i was more better off without him..now wat am i supposed to understand from this?

[searock]

He told you what he thinks - he likes you, but he doesn't believe in long distance relationships so he isn't willing to initiate one.

I think you should tell him explicitly that *you* are willing to try the long-distance thing, but if *he* doesn't feel like it, you'll respect his decision.

[help_me]

the thing is we both come from the same country... so its not an issue of long distance ...something thats confusing me is that the last night we were together wen i asked him if he loved me, he just said that he can't answer it coz it would mess me all up...finally the next day wen i was leaving he said that that answer to my question was yes... and then all of a sudden he said he had feelings for me and yet again i am better off if not with him

[searock]

I'll repeat myself:

I think you should tell him explicitly that *you* are willing to try the long-distance thing, but if *he* doesn't feel like it, you'll respect his decision.

[dem862]

You are getting conflicting messages from him, so he probably doesn't know how he feels. It would help to know a little about his history with relationships. If he has been single a long time, either he likes being single, or he might be fearful about getting involved because he thinks he might get hurt. If it is the former, I don't think you have much of a chance. If it is the latter, you could continue to pursue him and I think his emotions would eventually overcome his fears and you might have a very solid relationship, although you would have to be comfortable taking charge somewhat often. If he has had a number of failed relationships, he might just be tired of all the drama, or he isn't able to stay in a committed relationship. Either one of those doesn't look too good for you.

[help_me]

yeah you might be right, he had earlier told him abt his failed relationships... and last night he kept repeating abt how he had a terrible failed relationship

[Wakeup]

yeah you might be right, he had earlier told him abt his failed relationships... and last night he kept repeating abt how he had a terrible failed relationship

I thought you said you have known him for 4 years.. You couldn't have known him that well or have been that good of friends if you don't even know his past relationship history. (?) Surely you would have seen how his relationships were 'terribly failed." No?

The man has told you twice now that you "ARE BETTER OF WITHOUT HIM" don't set yourself up to be his part time booty call when he moves. If he wanted you in a committed manner he wouldn't keep saying that to you. (no matter how many failed relationships he's been in) When someone tells you that you'd be better off without them, you'd best believe what they're saying because it more times than not turns out to be true in the end.

[IndiReloaded]

He told you clearly he's doesn't want an LDR with you. He's right, btw, LDRs don't work. The only exception to this I know of is if a couple has been together a while and they are separated for a defined time. You don't have this stability to draw upon during a separation so he's right: it won't work.

He also already said: you should have spoken up earlier. He's done you a favour not stringing you along. Next time, if you like someone, say so sooner. Lesson learned.

[aadharshd]

Well he made it very clear that he doesn't want a relationship with you. You guys have the 'chemistry' and all that stuff and he might have had feelings but I guess he doesn't want to be in a relationship and might just be letting you down easy. I'm sorry but this girl and I had this same type of thing so I understand your situation and I'm just being honest.

[gardenofjade]

What country are you from?

[John2find]

i had known this guys for 4 yrs... we are quite good friends...i have had feelings for him for quite sometime, but could never muster up the courage to tell him... sometime back he decided to move back to his country and i finally told him how i felt abt him... and he did reciprocate back... he said he did feel something for me and that i sud have let him known abt it long back... however he said that since he is moving away he doesnt think long distance stuffs wrks and he didnt want to mess up my life...i asked him if we cud give us a chance to which he said that i was more better off without him..now wat am i supposed to understand from this?

what I am going to say now is a honest answer {and not to hurt}:

1. You are probably an average looking girl (no offense I am just trying to explain you). But beauty is not always what matters.
The mots striking things which attracts a boy in a girl is her face (fact no offence) then her character. Chracter is damn necessary for maintaining a long term relations, but face is the things that sparks love in boys.
BY average I mean , you can compete that boy looks wise.

2. Let me tell you that I am not telling this point juts to sound good. Boys can fall in love even with a gilr who looks relatively bad than them, but that takes a long time. Boy generally consider such girls as juts friends. (I am not racist or any one other type of discrimintaor, what I am telling is what I have come to know till now. I live in a hostel and I have may friends who all think this way).

3 Forget that boy probably he is not worth for you, as if a boy loves a girl he can cross borders for achieving what he wants.

4. The more you think the more you fill bad. If you really cannot resist him, then have a talk with him and tell him you are in love and really likes him. So can their be any possibility. I know it can appear a little ashamed or very stupid, but at least you will be clear of what going on. talk on very frankly with him.

best of luck.

Every girl is beautiful, only things she has to wait for his admirer.
Feel good and be happy with what you are , you are not going to change for anyone (unless its not bad to be the way you wanna be)

[help_me]

ouch kind of hurts now ... the thing is we spent the whole night together before his departure... we kissed and talked a lot...he said he was attracted to me when initially we had met but didnt ask me out (i had a bf then), we worked together for 3 yrs and we were always better off with each other out of office than our professional relationship...frankly i didnt expect anything back from him..i just wanted to let him know how i felt before he left....its just that when i spoke to one of my close guy friend's about it, who says that no guy would tell a girl that he liked her, kissed her and then say it won't work out...this statement kind of turned my entire world upside down... coz i really respected him and liked him.. didnt expected anything back, bt not this either... thanks guys for all the advise... makes a lot more sense now when u are not the person who is in love