Serious answers only: Thinking about a past love.

[ivanaxoo]

It's been a year since we broke up. I'd like to believe we were in love. We have a 7-month old baby boy, we broke up when I was five months pregnant. To make this quick, he's a real jerk. He shows me he doesn't care about me at all. He tells me I'm not even worth to speak of. But yet, every 2-3 months he gives me a random phone call. My heart can't let go of him. I tell myself I don't care and there's days I don't even think about him, but days like today where he's always on my mind. My question is, when your heart still holds on to someone after a year, or even years, is it because you just simply can't get over them or because you secretly know there's something still there? Please no negative comments, I need peace in my heart, in my life, I can't let go of him and believe me I've tried everything. Any advice/tips? Could it be that since I lost my virginity to him and had a baby with him there will always be that attachment? Everyone says I should be over him by now, but I can't. I saw something beautiful in him; now he's everything I never thought he would be. I know I saw something in him, but now I don't even know what that was. Please help me if anyone has any good advice. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Lost and confused.

[kelsfromindy]

I went through a similar situation long ago. I was hung up on a past love for almost two years. In hindsight, I realize it was just because I didn't want to let go. If that's the case, that can eat you alive. You have to want to move on, it won't simply happen.

I think losing your virginity to a person makes a special bond with them, but I feel like you're making that into an excuse to not let go. Ya know? Not trying to be negative.

My advice is to let it go. For a week. Promise yourself you won't think about him for a week and go have fun.

Try to remember why you still aren't together in the first place

[ivanaxoo]

I suppose you're right. I just could've sworn I saw something special in him, and now he's everything I thought he wouldn't be. I'll try to do the week thing, let's see how that works out. Thank you.

[kelsfromindy]

Not a problem. Whenever I was hurting over stuff I never had anyone to talk to so I know how it can feel. People change and people make mistakes as well. Unfortunately, we live and we learn. The sucky part is it usually sucks when we learn