Platonic friend lies

[pucktie215]

THanks for reading...

I have been exclusively dating my girlfriend for 7 months and really do love her. She is recently divorced and has only dated a few guys before she met me. She has a male friend who she grew up with and mentioned him early on in dating her. I, knowing guys, asked if they dated ever. She said that nothing ever had taken place. I asked her once again as I find any guy who is there for a girl as a friend suspicious, yes I don't trust guys right off the bat. Her ex-husband cheated on her and was emotionally abusive btw.

Curiosity gets the better of me and I looked in her phone one night. Just prior to dating me, she had explicit sex texts with often. He is also married and she spent time as a couple with this guy and his wife while still married. I told her what I did and asked for an explanation. She cried and explained that she wasn't proud of her past. I actually belive this. All the texts from when she met me and forward were appropriate. She did sleep with this guy when they were in high school though. Her ex and his current wife have no idea about this.

Her lying to me, even early one, bothers me. I wouldn't have known the story and I would be hanging out, on occasion, with some guy who slept with my gf in the past. What also bothers me is that she never told her ex about this guy, and followed a similar pattern and never told me.

I said that my gf should tell him that she is in a loving relationship and that they needed to be friends in the right way. I am not trying to be controling, but I feel if she doesn't say something that he will try or say something in the future. Also, he has no idea that I know all this. My gf says our relationship is completely different from what she had and I believe her. I know she doesn't plan on betraying me, but also believe you have to close previous doors if you're going to focus on your own relationship honestly.

There was a second guy that she also lied about early on. She doesn't see him any longer, but did meet for dinner as friends when I first started dating her. She lied about that past until it came out later on. I don't want our relationship managed by lies. I came out with all my dirty laundry as I seek a real relationship where communication is open and honesty rules. She has never had this and neither have I. I know she loved me, but am bothered that she doesn't get why this is important to me.

About me: I was also married and have some trust issued as my ex hooked up with her exboyfriend within weeks of us splitting up. I know men and know that they don't gnerally communicate with women that they don't fancy in some way.

Ladies, I love my gf. She makes me very happy. She doesn't understand why this all hurt me. I don't want to know about guys that I'll never meet and she doesn't communicate with. I feel that I should know if there is a history with someone that she still talks to or meets with. I would do the same. I also don't talk to ex's and am completely faithful.

Any advice or thoughts appreciated. Also ladies, how honest are you about past lovers who remain in your life?

[smackie9]

Well for me I never disclose numbers, that is no ones business. Details about ex bfs? I only tell what is asked of me and if they are wanting to know sure ok I have np with that. I have nothing to hide. Your GF I would trust her as far as I could throw her. Her nasty history is pretty recent and it's the poor choices she made then and the lies she tells now is a big fat red flag. It's definitely not how you start off a new relationship with. That girl got some issues.

Me personally I do not tolerate liars...if I had a BF like that it sure would be over.