absolute confusion as to what a girl really wants

[cast no shadow]

Sometimes I feel even bad to talk about what I'm feeling because of people who tell me that that's just the way it is.
I know that, and I try to feel better, and I know my life is pretty good, just right now it feels pretty bad.

I hope that I could be strong all the time, to have the ability to just decide that everything is o.k.
I can't, and pretending that this is not the case will probably won't be that helpful.

[smackie9]

except that people like us don't want to go through 20 relationships.. 1 or 2 real heart breaks & we are sitting in a corner of a dark room for the rest of our lives.. figuratively speaking.. we tend to invest too much emotionally, its not always possible to jump up like a fox & get going.. sorry..

Relationships are all different and including the levels of emotional involvement. You are right you don't know what you are getting into at the beginning, BUT with knowledge you can determine whether to invest yourself emotionally or not with each experience. That is what I'm trying to explain here. You are too negative looking at this, and this is why you are having such a hard time dealing with it. I'm showing you how you can change it by looking at things differently, and how it can benefit you. Of course there is a healing process, you grieve your loss that is what everyone does, but sitting around in a cesspool of whoa as me is putting you backwards not forward.

The quicker you accept things for what they are the quicker and easier it will be for you to move forward.

[blue9999]

smakie, no other option but to move on.. but certain scars, certain questions, certain anger left for life, you can't erase them.. no matter how good relationships you have later.. healing is there but that person, that wonderful person you were is gone.. you are a different person after you heal.. i have done this once, i know.. what a price to pay!!

[smackie9]

You need to stop measuring your self worth based on being in a relationship. You act like your life has no meaning unless this person is in your life...hence the reason why you feel so help less. That person you were was nieve, insecure, needy, weak, the new person you become should be wiser, more confident and positive. Give yourself a break, and work on your self esteem. Tip: a relationship shouldn't give you a life, it is only there to be a part of your life....stop letting it comsume you.