Hi guys, I've had to register here as after some reading around the internet im still not sure what I should do with the situation im currently in.

I'm going to try keep this as short as possible but after 8+ years its hard to keep it brief as the details count towards what’s happening now.

So, I've been with my girlfriend for 8+ years since the last year of high school. In that period we've split up 2 or 3 times, the longest was for 6 months, ill be the first to acknowledge that I've not been perfect as a partner I have had a lot to learn over the years, i don’t mean I cheated on her or anything, however I just wasn't treating her as I should have been doing for such a long time.

When we were younger she would always fight for what he had, like it was the only thing that mattered to her in life and I didn't know what that felt like until this last year when I've been having the exact same feelings. Before it was always her wanting to try again or get back together and now the roles have completed changed.

Rewind 6 months and we'd just gone through a bad patch and a lot of the issues with our relationship had come to the forefront, she told me she had no effort left and couldn't try no more so wanted to finish it. This hit me hard and over a number of months I kept trying to get her to change her mind and it never worked, until my mum overheard us on the phone, I then talked to my mum and she told me the way im being is never going to get her back. A week later I asked to meet her, we had a talk and I explained how I realised what was wrong and knew what I needed to change and we agreed to give it another try.

Now to the present day, I've changed a lot this time around and im willing to change myself even more to ensure she is happy. I think we've been communicating a lot better and I feel happier day to day about our relationship. However for months now there have been problems with our intimacy and our sex life, she just doesn't seem to want to put the effort in and I feel awful always being the one initiating things, she never seems to ask me to do anything in terms of meeting up or going places either and it just leaves me feeling unwanted as she is just showing no motivation for our relationship or towards me. Its not the same girl I knew not even 2 years ago, she's seems to have changed so much.

We had a talk 2 weeks ago about all this and she acknowledged the problems and said it wasn't me and that I've changed a lot this time around, she said she had no idea why she feels different but she just does and she gets frustrated with herself for doing so. Another 2 weeks had gone by and yet again she hadn't asked to see me or anything, so I asked again what was going on. So basically she told me she thinks we should finish things and go our own ways because she isn't making me happy and its not fair on me. I'll admit, for the past month I haven’t been happy and I’ve felt angry towards her for the lack of effort and lack of being bothered about the issues and trying to change them.

It's almost a week since that conversation now and we've talked a few times. Each time I've told her how much she means to me and how us not being together is the last thing in the world I want to happen, but she keeps saying she thinks this is the best thing to do for both of our sakes, while maintaining how much she still loves me. She told me she wishes we could of met now and not back then and things would have been perfect, after talking I managed to get out of her that us not looking into the future and the relationship not seeming like we've been together for 8 years was a problem for her, also the amount of interaction we had with people as couple wasn't as such as shed like (she feels like she always talks about me to her friends etc but for all they know I could be a figure of her imagination).

I've explained to her, all those things that are issues for her I've thought about and not been happy with also, just we've never talked about it. I want to commit to her and to have more interaction with her friends etc (be more in her life) just she's never given me the opportunity or mentioned it too me as she believes im the person I was before and that I wouldn't be interested. Me saying that isn't enough for her as we've been here before and got back together thinking everything would be ok and she said she doesn't want to look back in 2-3 and have to go through all this again.

I don’t want to lose this girl, I want to spend the rest of life with her and I cant believe I haven’t noticed these issues before and gone out of my way to change them. I know she still loves me and she realises how much she means to me. I just don’t know what to do now, I don’t want to keep at her like last time but then I think if I don’t fight and I end up losing her forever how will that make me feel in years to come. She's my best friend and the person im closest to, I just wish it would go back to her wanting me and wanting to put effort into me and I could do the same for her and it would be perfect, but now it seems she's made up her mind and her future doesn't involve me as she wants me to be happy and knows we haven’t been happy lately, I try day after day to accept this but its killing me.

What should I do guys? Do I leave her to it and hope and pray she realises she wants to be with me or do I try (again) and explain to her how much I love her and what I realise is wrong and explain how it would change.

This long post doesn't even scratch the surface of our relationship, so if there are any questions just ask.

Thanks so much for reading and any help will be greatly appreciated.