Wondering what my ex is thinking?

[prince10]

The facts

We broke up a little while ago and last week she said that she wants to be alone and still has feelings for another guy, but this is what has happened so far:

• The very next day she sends me an email saying she's sorry that she hurt me and wish she made me happy. I totally dissed responding to anything emotional and acted very nonchalantly.
• Two days after that she sends me a paragraph explaining how she misses me a lot and that I'm on her mind and wants to see me.
• Yesterday she sends me an email asking how my weekend is going.

So to sum up she has initiated 3 times and has expressed some emotions, but I responded several hours later to each of them, told her I'm busy and acted nonchalant. I was not engaging in conversations at all. There is obviously a lot more to the story, but I wanted to lay down the facts of the last week and see what you think she is thinking.

Thank you!

[searock]

She misses the comfort and routine and closeness with you, but it doesn't mean she is in love with you. If she were, she'd know it and she'd do anything to get you back - at least she would *tell you* she wants you back. She feels guilty for hurting you, hence the apologies, and she cares about you so she wants to check you're alright. And she just plainly misses you and the emotional comfort of your ex-relationship. But as I said, it doesn't mean she's in love with you.

Try not to think about the possible meanings of her messages - unless she explicitly tells you that she wants to get back together, the messages do NOT imply that.

[smackie9]

We desire most what we can't have, so being so unavalable is making her want your attention even more. Searock is right she just misses the familiarity of the relationship.....she is having trouble adjusting to being without you...no worries it will pass.

[prince10]

I understand. She keeps telling me that "she wants to want me" so how can I make this happen????

[prince10]

two questions:

how do I make her want me again? I'm being unavailable, I'm being pleasant and nonchalant as well if she initiates, but at some point she will stop initiating, so when do I?

[smackie9]

You can't force someone to come back. You are not listening to us. She misses the relationship not you. She is in contact with you because she doesn't like being alone. If you do contact her and start talking to her again all she is going to do is use you....as an emotional tampon till she meet some other dude and drop you.

You need to back off. If she tells you she wants to try again then so be it, if she doesn't then all this was just to put you in the friends zone until she heals.