How to show I'm interested?

[cast no shadow]

Hi all!

Well, people always say that for girls thing are a bit easier, all we need to do is to show we want to, and some guy will pick it up.


My problem is that I don't think I know how to send the message!
Even my best friends say that :-(

I do think I'm doing what I need to do, but apparently I'm not.

I'm not talking about one guy, it's like that all the time!
I look pretty good, I'm smart, have a good job.
But just clueless as it come to guys!

[searock]

Can you give us some examples of how you act when you're in the proximity of a guy you're interested in?

If you're at a social situation like a party or at a pub with friends, you can try sitting next to the guy you like and having small talk with him, casually brushing his arm/shoulder as you talk (as a natural gesture during the conversation) and making lots of flirty eye-contact. If he likes you back it will show by his body language, and it will progress from there :-).

[haxan]

Do you want a laundry list of things women say and do to let you know they're interested? If you're a smart, good looking professional, you can still be pretty clueless and get away with it. Something's not right.

[Sixpacj]

Yeah, a specific example would be useful...

My gut reaction is that you THINK you are communicating something to the guy, but in fact YOU'RE NOT. Forget the word "subtle" hehehe...

[dnna1]

With the way you feel

[John12]

sure thing

[Anna12]

Yes, I quite agree to your point of view.

[CAM]

Just be open; start talking to him and smile. Laugh at his bad jokes and send the signal that you want to have him ask you out. It's easy.

[CAM]

...but just don't be easy, if you know what I mean

[cast no shadow]

Yeah, something is not right.. I kinda realized it myself by now..

I don't know, I'm sometimes sure that I am sending a massage and that guys just don't want me.
My friends say that I just don't send anything..

With my ex it was much easier, cause we were roommates, and then after two weeks of talking one day
I was just sitting in his room and he started to touch my leg.. and from there it went on to a relationship.

I'm not model beautiful, but I do think I look good. I have a law degree, good job, friendly.
"On paper" I'm someone that you'll want to date, but something just isn't working.
Maybe I'm too scared from it to make it work. My break-up surly hadn't help.

God, I'm gonna stay alone forever?!?

[smackie9]

Look them in the eye and smile. It's that easy....

[Sixpacj]

Yeah, something is not right.. I kinda realized it myself by now..

I don't know, I'm sometimes sure that I am sending a massage and that guys just don't want me.
My friends say that I just don't send anything..

With my ex it was much easier, cause we were roommates, and then after two weeks of talking one day
I was just sitting in his room and he started to touch my leg.. and from there it went on to a relationship.

I'm not model beautiful, but I do think I look good. I have a law degree, good job, friendly.
"On paper" I'm someone that you'll want to date, but something just isn't working.
Maybe I'm too scared from it to make it work. My break-up surly hadn't help.

God, I'm gonna stay alone forever?!?

Hahahaha this is an all-time classic. When communicating to a man, there is no such thing as "sending a message" ;-) There is saying, talking, verbalising... writing...

When you want to communicate to a man, ou have to take full responsibility for what you're saying. I mean say it in a way you can't wriggle out of later. In my experience, if a man has to exert any degree of energy to decipher what you want to say, he will dismiss it as something not real, he will conclude he is imagining things...

[Sixpacj]

Yeah, something is not right.. I kinda realized it myself by now..

I don't know, I'm sometimes sure that I am sending a massage and that guys just don't want me.
My friends say that I just don't send anything..

With my ex it was much easier, cause we were roommates, and then after two weeks of talking one day
I was just sitting in his room and he started to touch my leg.. and from there it went on to a relationship.

I'm not model beautiful, but I do think I look good. I have a law degree, good job, friendly.
"On paper" I'm someone that you'll want to date, but something just isn't working.
Maybe I'm too scared from it to make it work. My break-up surly hadn't help.

God, I'm gonna stay alone forever?!?

Gave it another read and it dawned on me.

You think you are attractive to men because you think they should be attracted to you, since you as a female would be attracted to a female like yourself. This is futile.

You have to know what is the hierarchy of emotions that a man wants to experience with a woman. Then you have to deliver. And you have to forget what you think you know about men that you heard from other females. Usually, they don't know shit. A good resource, I think, is: [url]http://www.understandmen.com/[/url] , a website run by a knowledgeable woman.

To be more specific, the most important emotion for a man is respect. Followed by acceptance. The exact scale, or hierarchy, of emotions that a man needs you can google online. WHat is most important is you realise those emotions are not the same a female needs. Ignore this piece of advice at your own peril ;-)

Another piece of info I wanna give you, is most women - my friends, colleagues, and former partners - keep losing good men cause they cannot communicate to the men that they are interested in them. This is so key... If men keep leaving you, this is the most likely reason, i.e. you fail to communicate to them you are interested in them.

[cast no shadow]

Sorry, I didn't really understand your last massage..

What does it means to show respect, acceptance and hierarchy?
How am I suppose to implant that when meeting or trying to meet new guys?

I'm seriously asking, and will be glad to see what you think.

[Sixpacj]

Sorry, I didn't really understand your last massage..

What does it means to show respect, acceptance and hierarchy?
How am I suppose to implant that when meeting or trying to meet new guys?

I'm seriously asking, and will be glad to see what you think.

Sorry, I tried to explain in a rushed way that of all the emotions we both need, men and women, men need the emotions in different order. I meant to say to men the most important emotion they need to get form others, i.e. women, is respect. Once they are getting that, they become open to other emotions.

OTOH, as far as I know, to women respect does not rank first and they care more about getting attention and acceptance.

It is easy to make the mistake of trying to "give" to the other what you want yourself, without realising that what you are trying to give, in the hopes of receiving back, is of no use to your partner.

Have I expressed myself better this time? :-)