So, my online friends, what do I do now????

[blackiesharley]

For background, please read my post "Somebody help me please."

She was released from jail at 7am Saturday morning. She wanted to come over and pick up her personal belongings. I agreed to that. When she arrived, restraing order on the front door, I did let her in.She wanted to take a bath and then a nap before packing. I agreed to that as well.

When she woke up she started telling me how much she loved me, how she wanted a life with me, how sorry she was, we can make this work, yada, yada, yada. "Please let's go to Court Monday and resind the restraing order," she said. Like a sap, I fell for it, thinking that if we can make it through this, we have a solid relationship that can withstand anything.

Wrong.

After a few more hours of sleep, she once again became semi-violent and had changed her mind about 'us.' She wanted to dress up, go out to a nightclub and meet someone who would take her in. In order to defuse the situation, I left and drove to the Police station where I requested an escort back to MY house to enforce the restraining order. The cops were polite, professional yet stern. They allowed her to remove whatever she could (which was most of her stuff) within one-half hour and vacate the premises. She did. She was dressed like she was going to a Halloween party, or at the very least, and 18 Y/O rock and roll groupie from 1985 (She's 48).

I haven't answered the phone today and there have been some hang-ups. She has a car, some money and credit cards. She won't be homeless.

She was/is sucidial. She DOES have a mental illness, by her own admission yet refuses to take her meds or get professional help.

Either:

A- She met some guy last night that would take her in for sex,

B- She was arrested again for whatever reason, or

C- She finally did herself in. (Sucide)

How did things take such a terrible turn for the worst? A week ago today we were looking at houses together. All I wanted to do is build a nice peacefull life with her. I was falling in love with her. Am I that damn desperate for a relationship that I have to put up with this? I'm a good-looking guy that gets hit on all the time, but I seem to hook up with the nut-cases.

Until I meet a *fairly* sane woman, I think I'm happier alone. I'll just work on myself. Kinda sad though, we *could* have been great together. I hope she's OK....

Opinions please?

[Only-virgins]

Opinions on what? I don't understand. Sounds like a crazy situation ..what opinion on what do you want?

[misombra]

that's a crappy situation, but one that you really have no control over. some people, as much as we want to, we just cannot help them. i'm so sorry it sounds like it all sucks. it's not your fault though, you can't be held responsibility for what she does.

[irscared]

Umm, she sounds like shes crazy. Ive always put things as, what ever happens is spose to happen, so she obviously was not ment for you, but a padded room.

[blackiesharley]

Opinions on what? I don't understand. Sounds like a crazy situation ..what opinion on what do you want?

You have a point. Opinion on what? It's obviously a crazy situation and I'm lucky to get out of it this soon, before I became more involved. I guess I just needed to vent in the above post. I do have a lot of friends and family, but frankly, I'm embarassed to talk to them about it. Easier to talk to anon. online folks I guess.

Anyway, it's over although the phone has rung all night. (It must be her). Oh well, I'll just be alone and work on myself until I meet someone new. It could be today, it could be next year. Right now I don't care....

[Only-virgins]

You have a point. Opinion on what? It's obviously a crazy situation and I'm lucky to get out of it this soon, before I became more involved. I guess I just needed to vent in the above post. I do have a lot of friends and family, but frankly, I'm embarassed to talk to them about it. Easier to talk to anon. online folks I guess.

Anyway, it's over although the phone has rung all night. (It must be her). Oh well, I'll just be alone and work on myself until I meet someone new. It could be today, it could be next year. Right now I don't care....

You seem to me to be a reason-able person. You will be fine. I can't help you much with her since I don't know every single little detail about your relationship. That is always the hardest part about giving opinions and advice on situations you were never a part of. I am only human as well but to me it seems like you have your head on your shoulders(as the saying goes). From only reading you starting post though ...she did kind of sound like a nut case....I don't know her though..I am just saying from your post. You might be taking the wise approach and just not caring.

[blackiesharley]

Thanks Only-Virgins.

The weird part is that when I was talking to the Dectective the other night and he was asking about her behaviour, I felt like *I* was the one that was crazy just relating her wild tales to him. IE: Agents from Isreal have followed her and accused her of murder. She was married to rock stars, she feared being arrested for a DUI thirty years ago. She challenged Evel Knivel to a motorcycle jump across the Grand Canyon. Cops follow her and take her picture. She played piano for Frank Sinatra and Elton John. People were stealing her mail. She was European royality and was a millionaire in Germany. When tried to commit sucide (before we met) and passed out from a pill overdose, the police came in and took (removed) the serial numbers off of all her possessions, VCR, cam-corder, TV, etc. On and on and on....

See my point? The whole things insane.

Delusions and she needs serious help but I'm not a social worker and she was dragging me down with her.Until I meet a lady that is at least 65% sane, I'll be alone and just develop a relationship with myself. An empty bed never killed anyone.

Like someone said here, she ain't the one for me, she needs a padded cell, which she got when she freaked out in jail last week.

Thanks for listening.....

[coffeecrazy]

Thanks Only-Virgins.

The weird part is that when I was talking to the Dectective the other night and he was asking about her behaviour, I felt like *I* was the one that was crazy just relating her wild tales to him. IE: Agents from Isreal have followed her and accused her of murder. She was married to rock stars, she feared being arrested for a DUI thirty years ago. She challenged Evel Knivel to a motorcycle jump across the Grand Canyon. Cops follow her and take her picture. She played piano for Frank Sinatra and Elton John. People were stealing her mail. She was European royality and was a millionaire in Germany. When tried to commit sucide (before we met) and passed out from a pill overdose, the police came in and took (removed) the serial numbers off of all her possessions, VCR, cam-corder, TV, etc. On and on and on....

See my point? The whole things insane.

Are all these things true?? I'm a bit confussed.

I agree, forget about this woman she's bad for you, getting back with her will only get you into trouble, she needs help.

[blackiesharley]

Are all these things true?? I'm a bit confussed.

I agree, forget about this woman she's bad for you, getting back with her will only get you into trouble, she needs help.

A few of those things are indeed true. She has attempted sucide a few times (before we met) I did see a picture of her with Frank Sinatra, but that really means nothing, could have been taken at a resturant or party, one of her four ex-husbands (That number should have been a red flag right there) was a stage hand for Elton John. But the Isreali agents, cops following her to take her picture, etc, etc is all a product of her warped mind. I feel sorry for her, but she refuses help. In any event, I'm moving on. Meanwhile I'm keeping that restraing order in effect.

I should also mention another factor. On the two occassions (first last week and again on Saturday) when she hit me (lightly) I left my property to alert Police only because, although I had every right to defend myself, I DON'T HIT WOMEN. I wanted to defuse the incident and let the authorities handle it.

Like I've said before, I'd rather be alone right now. Someday, someone will appreciate me.

[coffeecrazy]

I should also mention another factor. On the two occassions (first last week and again on Saturday) when she hit me (lightly) I left my property to alert Police only because, although I had every right to defend myself, I DON'T HIT WOMEN. I wanted to defuse the incident and let the authorities handle it.

Like I've said before, I'd rather be alone right now. Someday, someone will appreciate me.

Well said good to see you sticking up for yourself and not taking that sort of shit and good to see that you didn't hit her.

[blackiesharley]

The drama continues.... Four phone calls today, begging and pleading, sobbing, apoligizing, the 'I love you's, I miss our bed, I miss holding you, I want a life with you, let's start again, PLEASE give me another chance, I want to marry you, yada, yada, yada.'

I must be a sap and the biggest damn fool on the planet as I agreed to meet her at 4pm at a NETURAL public location (a coffee shop) this afternoon.

She needs meds. I'm starting to think that maybe I do too as well just for agreeing to meet for coffee.

[Prodigal]

Look man, like you said. Someday, someone will respect you. My conclusion from what I've read in the last couple threads is that this girl is definitely NOT it.

You're a very considerate and caring person, it is apparent after reading this. Even after all the abuse she has put you through, you still agree to meet her. Look, she's vacillated back and forth from the going out and wanting to find someone else (even her ex's) and then when she leaves for a couple days, she comes running right back to you and saying "I love you". If she loved you so much, she wouldn't say that shit to begin with.

I'll admit, I'm a huge sap and I usually cave in to these kinds of things. You gave her a lot of chances, and you know what? She blew them all. She made the exact same mistake over and over after you gave her chance after chance. It's time to move away from her. You have a restraining order; don't waive it and accept to meet her again. You can get yourself out of this situation by not voluntarily involving yourself in it.

I'll repeat it again. Someone will respect you someday. But it is NOT her. As much as it hurts, it's definitely time to leave her behind. She needs to become part of the past. I believe you'll find a girl who treats you MUCH better.