Sort of lost

[Noruego]

Hi there, I apologize in advance for coming across as whiny and emo when I have no reason to be. I'm 21 years old and from Norway and recently I've hit a sort of speed bump in life. I'm about to become an adult and enter the adult world and I just realized I am scared shitless. I had a nice childhood and good parents that always backed me up, which weirdly kinda messed me up in the long run. They instilled this thought in me that I would grow up and become anything I could be and never really helped me build a work ethic to aid me on the way. It's kind of like that Fight Club quote "We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." But instead of being pissed off, I find myself very depressed. The thought that I could end up with a regular office job, doing something I don't care about at all for the rest of my life really bums me out. I am studying Film at the moment, but everyone knows that it's a hard field to get into even if you are good. Which i'm not, yet.

I haven't had any luck in love so far in life either, i've kissed to girls so far. One was 2-week girlfriend kind of thing when I was younger and the other is a girl I'm seeing now, but that's a whole different story (unlikely to work out much longer). So recently I became scared, what if i don't find that "soulmate"? Now I don't use that term literally, but what if i just settle for the first person I find that likes me enough to marry me? What if I don't find that special girl that can elevate our potential love to something legendary. Now you might have noticed I'm an idealist when it comes to love, watched to many movies when I was a kid and now I hope to find something from "Before Sunrise" or something, (or at least some girl who would have gotten that reference).

Lately I've become almost apathetic about everything, nothing drives me anymore. I eat only because I realize I haven't eaten in a long time, not because I'm that hungry. I sleep only because it's late, not because I'm tired. I hang out with a few friends every once in a while, but we just watch a movie or chat for a bit. I feel like I don't care about anything and at the same time I am angry with myself for being such a whiny bitch when there are millions out there who would happily change places with me. I have good days and bad days, and the bad days can go to very dark places..

I guess I'm just rambling on at this point, but is this something everyone goes through at some point? What is the solution? Just accepting a "mediocre" life and getting a job and getting on with it? If you think I'm just whining and need a slap to the face please say so, but any advice will do at this point. Thank you for reading.

[TJRifty]

Hey man, I have never posted on a forum like this before but I was doing some random googling and ended up here and registered just to reply to you so you'd know you're not the only one in this situation. Cause I am in a similar place as you.

I'm 21 and my parents have always been super supportive and backed me up but I was never instilled with any sort of work ethic. I've just sort of cruised through school and life. I'm studying Game Art & Design right now and don't feel like I'll make it with the amount of competition and other much more amazing artists out there and sometimes I dont even know why I'm in this major because ever since I went to this school I've started realizing that I don't seem to have a creative side.

I haven't ever even been in a relationship, and I've kissed three girls in my whole life. And I'm the same way as you in the way that you're an idealist when it comes to relationships.

This past quarter in school I haven't done any work and I'm in my last year of the program and am scared of the real world too. I've never had a job and don't even know if the major I'm in is what I wanna do anymore or if it was anything more than a hobby. I've been trying to read all these self-help books but they don't help because I just seem to not be able to help myself.

I have no motivation, no drive and I don't even know if I ever had any. I just kinda drifted through life and now that the end to that is supposed to be coming near I'm just lost.

I have my own advice, but it would be worthless coming from me since it would probably be the sort of answer anyone else would say, and the fact that I can't follow my own advice just makes it even more useless in my eyes. I guess you might be wondering why I'm even posting then, but I feel like sometimes it's just good to know there's someone else out there feeling the same way.

As for advice that I haven't yet followed but has been given to me. "Go backpacking across Spain." And while I don't actually mean you should go backpacking across Spain, I mean go on a road trip or some sort of adventure where it will be scary, it will be hard, but force yourself to be out there in the real world to make that transition from a kid to an adult.

[Noruego]

Thanks for the reply man, it is good to know I'm not the only one feeling like this. Since all my friends don't really seem able to relate. As for taking a trip of some sort, that is actually something I would like to do, however, I'm not exactly loaded at the moment and I sort of have the next year devoted to this school. So it seems like it could take a while before I could commit to such an endeavour. What's your excuse tho ?

[TJRifty]

Ha, mine is the same. No money to go, and I have to finish school.