help please

[xdelilah]

hi everyone, i need some advice...I've told my friends all this and I dont know what to do. My bf and i been dating for 3 and half yrs and we got along pretty good. We had our ups and downs time to time. Mostly with his brother who doesnt like me. It wasnt until last July when i gained alot of weight he told me he didnt find me as atrractive since i gained alot of weight. He claims he said that to motivate me and i said no its not a good way to do that. Anyways i told him that i was gonna lose once i leave my old job because it was depressing. Nonethelss he didnt believe me...well now i lost 50lbs and during those months he mentioned how he wanted my to get the keratin treatment because my hair is curly and i said no he said hell pay. I said its not that..im scared to do it cause itll damage and maybe i can lose my hair. He got mad but dropped it...then he said for me to get spray tans since im so pale and its hard for me to tan easily. I said its too much $$ hes like he will pay. But anyways come this past february he tells me how he met this new guy at work...and hes excited finally a guy. I didnt think nothing of it...he works in an office full of women. He is telling me how he shook his hand for 3min and im like um baby something is weird...sounds like gay and hes like no. Then i noticed LESS phone calls from him..i thought nothing of it...until he mentions how he got this guy phone number and how hes so excited he got a new friend and im like um....okay.....then hes like yourej ust jealous of my new friend. Im like no im not...i got friends too. Then one day i got so irritated i called his number i wanted see how this guy sounds on the phone...i honestly thought he is gay...he sounded not gay but you know...so he kept saying how great my bf is and how hes gonna hang out with him all the time THEY LIVE CLOSE BY. i was like um.....okay i said i am telling you this guy is strange and i want to meet him first and hes like no you dont need too...then he tellin me how his girls at work saying i got him on lock down and now hes not going to be??? im like umm??? wtf...then i said i want to meet him to make sure he aint gay first before yall go out i can drop by your job and hes like no you will not meet him until i hang out with him after a while. I Got so MAD...i said FINE go do whatever...PLEASE STOP mentioning the guy its annoying and mind you with verizon phones i know when hes talking to another person...he wouldnt click over when i called he saying how hes talking to his new friend...Im like um??? Yall are at work...he works in a diff department...shouldnt yall be working??? so anyways 3weeks ago he asks me to go out and im busy with school...i work full time and go to school full time...he just works full time he already finished school..i am 26 and he is 28...and hes like well im going out with his new friend and im like um...if you do go out im going to be pissed...so come that day he texts me hes drunk and im worried and he calls me and says hes at this bar...and he was WASTED beyond belief...something he dont do...at all. This guy is 22 and single and just moved here from California which he doesnt know why and i asked the guy why he said STUFF...and my friend background checked him cuz i couldnt stand the guy he sounded off...and he has a criminal background for some prohibited weapons. i was so pissed that night she told me. i called him and said where are you and i said im coming and hes like no dont come...i came anways and he lied about where he was at first...then i finally found him and i threw the beer at him and said gimme his keys and hes like no go away. i got in his friends face said look what you did allowing him get drunk like this...oh and when he met you all he does is talk to you instead of me!!!! he just kept smirking like a fool...so when he came back from drying his shirt i said listen this guy is a criminal and i want take you home hes wasted and says go away and stop embarassing me... and i went into his pants got his car keys and hes like give me the keys and i said no youre wasted and his friends like ill take him home and im like no you been drinking too...and my bf said hed let me take him home in 15min the bar was about to close, cuz i pleaded if you love me you let me take you home...he lied and called and said his friends taking him home and got furious i took his keys...and i said if you keep this stuff up im telling your mom(his mom loves me)...and so instead of being nice he kept saying how hes going report me and stuff...and to go away...so i was so sad threw up all night i was so sick. told him mom and yea that made him more mad...anyways i said you need to drop him as a friend and then we can get back together and hes like thats not fair hes a good guy...i said i dont want you to go out with him drinking and get pulled over and become a loser...and a failure...i told him i had back ups from other guys...hes like ok go out with them and how hes upset. i felt bad so i went over to his house to apologize unexpectantly and he got furious i came in and said go away and pushed me...i ran away crying and he came apologized...then hes like we need to talk cuz apparently hes mad because yes i am a virgin and i wanted to wait till i graduate from college because i wanted have my degree incase kids...and he waited...we did other stuff...you know...and hes mad i have a full time job now so im working more...and he still thinks of me as the depressed person i was when i had gained alot of weight...i told him that he says no...but hes like well hell call me and and i said you might be too late...and i didnt talk to him for 5 days and i get texts how he misses me and im his missing person...etc...until he text me i got another man and hell leave me alone...i replied i need time to think and then we just argue more...so he tells me how he got a new job interview...i helped him find the interview questions and hes like you know everything...and im like yes now you see why i dont like that guy...he tells me he went out with him AGAIN the weekend before ...and went to A BAR AGAIN!!! and his friend bought him drinks and food??? and he was sad ...so he went home early...he claims his friend says nothing bad about me...but when he talks to him hes angry...all the time...so this past saturday i come over as a friend dressed all sexy and he was very excited...cuz i wanted to work on "us" i do love him! we go out to mall have a good time he was very excited...that was another issue that i didnt dress sexy all the time since i lost weight...so we go out to eat and he rubbin on me and im like what are you doing am i your gf again and hes like yes if uwant to be and he apologizes and says how he wants spend more time with me and cant wait to have sex with me and stuff...and isaid okay will make more time for us...so we go back to his place and do some other sexual stuff and he was excited and happy and i go to sleep and hes like in the morning when i leave....we still need to talk??? im like TALK?? i thought we did...hes like no ...about us im like oh brother...so sunday night i go out with my coworker looking for a dress for the concert we just went to today and he calls me ...apparently he wanted to talk??? But i didnt know???? he always been saying lets talk...but his friend works every other weekend so i figured he calls me cuz his bff isnt ready to talk??? so tonight our concert im all dressed up and whole time walkin there he dont hold my hand and hes walking in front of me and he mentions his friend several times and im pissed...so he didnt enjoy the concert he had a headace apparently. and im like okay so i got his phone lied and said i wana see his facebook and i saw the first person he called today was his GUY FRIEND...NOT ME?? i was so sad...and he said he was gonna call me back later and he just called him again and texted him all day instead of even talking to me for more than 1min...i told him that i was pissed i saw that...hes like oh i wanted talk to you last night but you went out...and im like it was FOR YOU and our night...hes like well...oh and he complains i slammed the door to loud when he dropped me off work?? im like ugh....ssoooooo i told him you hurt me and he just says you dont feel sorry for what you ddid that night... im like i said sorry for spilling the beer...and he says he claims he called his guyfriend first cuz hes the last caller???? im like bs!!!! he mentions him with me during the ride and concert 3 times...i couldnt stand it.....so i said you have more of a relationship with him than me..and hes like well youre not there and im like what i thought we mentioned at the restaurant more time for us, but you dont even TRY!! And hes like ill talk to you later and im like imtired of you saying later and our talks,, we need to write this down because you surely will change your mind....


i dont know what to do anymore...i accused him of finding another girl with that guy but he claims no he isnt looking for other girls with him...i dont want to be with him how he acts when hes talking to that guy...i dont get his sick relationship with that guy????he claims hes not gay but what is he hiding im going crazy???

[Zigg1]

can you cut this into point form? i would like to help but its soo long and im getting lost trying to read it lol.

[confusedboy1992]

Reading this on my phone made my eyes and head hurt, sort it out love! From what I can remember, just spend a whole day with him when your both free next, and TALK WHEN YOUR TOGETHER! If you can't work out the differences, chuck him if your hearts not in it

[Salubrious]

A strong emotional bond with another man is sometimes questionable since most men that are not bisexual or gay tend to not cross that "line" with other men. However if he chooses time with him over you more maybe going on and he is too afraid to tell you that he might be bisexual.

[xdelilah]

hi everyone, i need some advice...I've told my friends all this and I dont know what to do. My bf and i been dating for 3 and half yrs and we got along pretty good. We had our ups and downs time to time. Mostly with his brother who doesnt like me. It wasnt until last July when i gained alot of weight he told me he didnt find me as atrractive since i gained alot of weight. He claims he said that to motivate me and i said no its not a good way to do that. Anyways i told him that i was gonna lose once i leave my old job because it was depressing.

Nonethelss he didnt believe me. Well now i lost 50lbs and during those months he mentioned how he wanted my to get the keratin treatment because my hair is curly and i said no he said hell pay. I said its not that. Im scared to do it cause itll damage and maybe i can lose my hair. He got mad but dropped it. Then he said for me to get spray tans since im so pale and its hard for me to tan easily. I said its too much $$ hes like he will pay.

But anyways come this past february he tells me how he met this new guy at work...and hes excited finally a guy. I didnt think nothing of it. He works in an office full of women. He is telling me how he shook his hand for 3min and im like um baby something is weird. I said it sounds like this guy is gay and hes like no. Then i noticed LESS phone calls from him.


i thought nothing of it...until he mentions how he got this guy phone number and how hes so excited he got a new friend and im like um ok. Then hes like youre just jealous of my new friend. Im like no im not. I got friends too. Then one day i got so irritated i called his number i wanted see how this guy sounds on the phone. I honestly thought he is gay.
So he kept saying how great my bf is and how hes gonna hang out with him all the time THEY LIVE CLOSE BY. I said i am telling you this guy is strange and i want to meet him first and hes like no you dont need too...then he tellin me how his girls at work saying i got him on lock down and now hes not going to be???

Wtf...then i said i want to meet him to make sure he aint gay first before yall go out i can drop by your job and hes like no you will not meet him until i hang out with him after a while. I Got so MAD...i said FINE go do whatever...PLEASE STOP mentioning the guy its annoying and mind you with verizon phones i know when hes talking to another person...he wouldnt click over when i called he saying how hes talking to his new friend...Im like um??? Yall are at work...he works in a diff department...shouldnt yall be working???

anyways 3weeks ago he asks me to go out and im busy with school...i work full time and go to school full time...he just works full time he already finished school..i am 26 and he is 28...and hes like well im going out with his new friend and im like um...if you do go out im going to be pissed.

so come that day he texts me hes drunk and im worried and he calls me and says hes at this bar...and he was WASTED beyond belief...something he dont do...at all. This guy is 22 and single and just moved here from California which he doesnt know why and i asked the guy why he said STUFF...and my friend background checked him cuz i couldnt stand the guy and he has a criminal background for some prohibited weapons. i was so pissed that night she told me.

i called him and said where are you and i said im coming and hes like no dont come...i came anways and he lied about where he was at first...then i finally found him and i threw the beer at him and said gimme his keys and hes like no go away. i got in his friends face said look what you did allowing him get drunk like this...oh and when he met you all he does is talk to you instead of me!!!! he just kept smirking like a fool...so when he came back from drying his shirt i said listen this guy is a criminal and i want take you home hes wasted and says go away and stop embarassing me... and i went into his pants got his car keys and hes like give me the keys and i said no youre wasted and his friends like ill take him home and im like no you been drinking too...and my bf said hed let me take him home in 15min the bar was about to close, cuz i pleaded if you love me you let me take you home...he lied and called and said his friends taking him home and got furious i took his keys...and i said if you keep this stuff up im telling your mom(his mom loves me)..

so instead of being nice he kept saying how hes going report me and stuff...and to go away...so i was so sad threw up all night i was so sick. told him mom and yea that made him more mad...anyways i said you need to drop him as a friend and then we can get back together and hes like thats not fair hes a good guy. I said i dont want you to go out with him drinking and get pulled over and become a loser, a failure...i told him i had back ups from other guys. Hes like ok go out with them and how hes upset.

i felt bad so i went over to his house to apologize unexpectantly and he got furious i came in and said go away and pushed me...i ran away crying and he came apologized...then hes like we need to talk cuz apparently hes mad because yes i am a virgin and i wanted to wait till i graduate from college because i wanted have my degree incase kids...and he waited...we did other stuff...you know...and hes mad i have a full time job now so im working more...and he still thinks of me as the depressed person i was when i had gained alot of weight...i told him that he says no...but hes like well hell call me and and i said you might be too late...and i didnt talk to him for 5 days and i get texts how he misses me and im his missing person...etc...until he text me i got another man and hell leave me alone...

i replied i need time to think and then we just argue more...so he tells me how he got a new job interview...i helped him find the interview questions and hes like you know everything...and im like yes now you see why i dont like that guy...he tells me he went out with him AGAIN the weekend before ...and went to A BAR AGAIN!!! and his friend bought him drinks and food??? and he was sad ...so he went home early...he claims his friend says nothing bad about me...but when he talks to him hes angry...all the time...

so this past saturday i come over as a friend dressed all sexy and he was very excited...cuz i wanted to work on "us" i do love him! we go out to mall have a good time he was very excited...that was another issue that i didnt dress sexy all the time since i lost weight...so we go out to eat and he rubbin on me and im like what are you doing am i your gf again and hes like yes if u want to be and he apologizes and says how he wants spend more time with me and cant wait to have sex with me and stuff...and isaid okay will make more time for us...so we go back to his place and do some other sexual stuff and he was excited and happy and i go to sleep and hes like in the morning when i leave.

we still need to talk??? im like TALK?? i thought we did...hes like no about us im like oh brother...so sunday night i go out with my coworker looking for a dress for the concert we just went to today and he calls me ...apparently he wanted to talk??? But i didnt know???? he always been saying lets talk...but his friend works every other weekend so i figured he calls me cuz his bff isnt ready to talk???

so tonight our concert im all dressed up and whole time walkin there he dont hold my hand and hes walking in front of me and he mentions his friend several times and im pissed...so he didnt enjoy the concert he had a headace apparently. and im like okay so i got his phone lied and said i wana see his facebook and i saw the first person he called today was his GUY FRIEND...NOT ME?? i was so sad...and he said he was gonna call me back later and he just called him again and texted him all day instead of even talking to me for more than 1min...i told him that i was pissed i saw that.

hes like oh i wanted talk to you last night but you went out...and im like it was FOR YOU and our night...hes like well...oh and he complains i slammed the door to loud when he dropped me off work?? im like ugh....ssoooooo i told him you hurt me and he just says you dont feel sorry for what you did that night... im like i said sorry for spilling the beer...and he says he claims he called his guyfriend first cuz hes the last caller???? im like bs!!!! he mentions him with me during the ride and concert 3 times...i couldnt stand it.....so i said you have more of a relationship with him than me..and hes like well youre not there and im like what i thought we mentioned at the restaurant more time for us, but you dont even TRY!! And hes like ill talk to you later and im like imtired of you saying later and our talks, we need to write this down because you surely will change your mind....


i dont know what to do anymore...i accused him of finding another girl with that guy but he claims no he isnt looking for other girls with him...i dont want to be with him how he acts when hes talking to that guy...i dont get his sick relationship with that guy????he claims hes not gay but what is he hiding im going crazy???