My boyfriend has epilepsy and says he doesn't want us to be together

[amz1991]

My boyfriend has just told me that he doesn't think we are right for each other. I was very confused because I didn't know why he was saying this. He told me that we hadn't been talking about the serious things enough (e.g. moving in together, not talking about our feelings enough), but I don't think this is a valid enough reason why we should split up. We have been together for 17 months. He has epilepsy and it is getting worse. His epilepsy is resistant to medication, so he is currently waiting for an EEG scan to see if he can have surgery and he did say to me that he may never get better and in the future I may have to become his carer. Becoming his carer does not bother me at all, I love him and want to be with him no matter what. I get the feeling that he thinks that I'm not going to be able to support him and have time for him, and that I'm not going to be able to cope with his epilepsy. However, I have been with him this long and if I couldn't cope then I would have left the relationship a long time ago. I am currently studying at university and he is not doing anything because he just wants to focus on his health. We had been so happy before he told me that we shouldn't be together. He said that he had been thinking about it for some time, but he should have spoken to me about it sooner. It is all one sided and he hasn't let me have a say. I really don't know what to do. I know that we are meant to be together, we have been through so much and have always came out strong. I just don't know what to say to him to make him listen to me and believe me when i say that I don't want us to be apart and that I will always be there for him. He told me that he's in love with me and doesn't want to be apart from. I just think that if there is enough love in the relationship, then that is enough to be able to make the relationship work, no matter how tough times get. I know this is a difficult situation, but I would really appreciate some feedback right now please. Thank you.

[teacup711]

Its debilitating when youre taking meds to control epilepsy but theyre rendered useless, so I can imagine upon hearing the worsening of his situation, your BF is probably reeling from the news, very frustrated, unsure about his own future but he is considering yours at least which is positive. A similar type of scenario happened to a friend of mine when her husband was diagnosed with the initial onset of Parkinsons ( he was forty) and his reaction was not unlike your BF's. He even suggested she should consider "moving on" from the relationship as he would be needing a carer a few years down the track-- he still doesnt need one and he's almost fifty. It sounds as though he needs time to process everything, it seems apparent from what youve said that he loves you but I think, for a guy to be advised at any age but especially if he is younger (Im not sure how old your BF is?) that he will not be able to be independent in the future that news comes as a real blow. I know if I got the news myself I would find it hard to accept and Im female.
Hope part of this helps in some way.

[teacup711]

This last bit cut off from previous thread post...
Does he also have family/ friends that can be there for him as well? A positive mindset is everything. Also my friends husband began going to yoga to help with this, in a way it was a challenge for him? Not sure if once the results from the EEG come in and he discovers the next step etc, setting himself a few small goals like that might be beneficial?