I've no idea what's going on :S

[woodpecker8520]

There's this guy that's one of my best friends,and I know him for 2 years now.And since we first met we got really close and he was like the brother I never had.About 7 months after we first met,me,my best girl friend and he went on summer vacation and it was great,we had a lot of fun and it really was amazing.But he and I are kind of hedonistic type of people,so it was only normal our relationship became a bit physical and we often cuddled or bit each other,but that's okay,it's all just for fun.At least it was until I realized I had a little bit of crush on him,or at least I thought it was 'a little bit of a crush'.Turns out my ****ed up feelings ruined my summer as I was desperate knowing I must see him every day and can do absolutely nothing about it,given that he was in love with girl back home that I knew.So I did nothing and we pretend everything's fine and nothing changed.When we got back home,he went on a one-week trip and in the meantime I met a guy a forced myself to 'fall in love with him' so I could 'fall out of love' with my best friend.And all was good,we broke up 3 months later,and after that I got in another relationship and that friend and I became closer than ever,and I was happy.
4 months later (today) I'm so confused and emotionaly ****ed up I can't sleep,I can't eat,I can't study,I can't do anything.The person I was in a relationship with and I broke up 2 weeks ago because it wasn't possible for us to be together.Day after,my friend and I got in another cuddling session and everything was the same,except this time I kind of 'offered' a kiss,to put it like that.He said he couldn't do it,so I didn't force it and we went on like nothing happened.That same night we talked like we usually do and everything was exactly the same.So imagine my surprise when next day he seems a bit different.He still comes every half an hour with my two other friends to chat and we joke and laugh but something's not right.The other friend told me I'm just being paranoid and I believe him.Few days later we were supposed to go to our traditional 'meeting' at one of my friend's place,and we always used to go there together.But he says 'I'm not going right now,you go,I'll be there in an hour or so.'.He doesn't say why,I don't ask,the other friend won't say a thing and I become suspicious,but I decide I'll leave it alone.
This went on for about week and a half and 2 days ago he comes to me starts,like 'petting' me on the head and I ask him what was that all about and he just pretends like nothing happened and says 'I've got a date this sunday' (with his crush that turned him down not that long ago).
Then I realize they've been making a fool out of me all the time saying that I was wrong.And right now I'm mad and sad and disappointed because I don't know WHY he stopped telling me things all of a sudden,when nothing have changed.And I think that I might have developed some feelings for him (again) but I'm not really sure is it a real thing or is it just the sadnesss I feel after a break up and loneliness that I'm trying to 'cure' with him.
Please,help me,I need some advice and other people's oppinions.
Thank you

[IndiReloaded]

He likes you, or he's been using you. Hard to tell which from your post. I suspect, tho, that he enjoys the attention he gets from you but isn't looking for more. You sound a bit too submissive and many guys want a girl with a bit more spunk.

Either way, you could stand to be more emotionally independent of this guy. Even the closest lovers need to have some distance or things get messed up. You aren't even close to this and you are letting this guy turn you inside out.

Next time he tries to 'cuddle you', tell him to get lost. Say you are looking for a guy who can actually ask for what he wants and, if that's not him, then you don't want to be giving him the wrong idea and leading him on. Turn tables. Good luck.

[smackie9]

If you have ever read the ladder theory it would explain your situation. Guys have one ladder while girls have two. Girls have a friends ladder and a potential BF ladder. Guys have girls on one, the best being up at the top and the bottom are ones they want the least. There's always seemed to be someone above you on his ladder. You could try to move up his ladder, but I wouldn't bother because there seems to be too much competition.

A guy that cuddles just for the hell of it is a wuss anyways.

[Jason250]

Thanks for your post.