Ouch that hurt............

[Nice!!!!]

OK, so im here as i have no one to talk to about this, so here goes.

So i for the first time set up an online dating accunt here in the uk, after several mails from woman clearly only looking for one thing i came across "her" we talked and laughed online and decided to meet up for a proper date, First impressions from both of us were good, she told me that she was having fun and enjoying our evening, like wise, and also said that in person i was better looking than my online photos like she was, we had dinner and carried on talking and laughing, nothing to serious you know the normal kind of chat.

The night went on and we moved to a bar with live music for a couple more drinks, all was going ok but i felt there was something not right, so me being me asked her, now we are both adults "her 38 though a young 38, me 33, so come on we can be honest with each other, and she was, she told me that whilst she did find me attractive there was no spark there, i was cool about it, from my point of view i liked her and would have liked it to be mutal but if i can make a new friend atleast that would be all good, so we stayed out and danced and had even more fun.

Here is where my problem starts and has filled me with confusion for the last 36 hours, i walk her home as my car is parked down her road and we carry on talking outside her place for about 5 mins, i go to say good by and she gives me a big hug, being the gentleman i am i go to give her a kiss on her cheek but she turns her head and the kiss end up being on the lips, and then she would not let go of the hug, arms around each other talking still for a few more minutes and by this point i am confused, she didnt fancy me in this way and there was no spark, but we end up in the most amazing full blown kiss, i had only had 2 small glasses of wine but it was late, she invited me up to her flat for coffee, now im getting really confused, i like this woman a lot, and where is she going with this, so we have coffee and kiss a little more, i did say to her that i was confused from what she had said earlier in the eveing, she told me that as the evening went on she became more attracted to me and there was a spark there, ok great i thought, now at this point i had no intention of anything else, i wanted to get to know this woman and see what might happen and had all full attention of going home.

Now coffee is finished and we are sat talking i am just about to say i better make a move when she ask me if i would like a glass of wine, to which i said if i have any more to drink i cant drive, her responce was "thats ok" making it clear she wanted me to stay, my answer was very clear and straight forward due to the fact by now i am so confused that i liked her and wanted to stay i felt something there that i wanted to get to know more of, but i was not satying if this was just a thing and she was not 100% sure, guess what she was 100% sure, so i stayed..........

The following morning after i go and get breakfast for us, we go back to bed, amazing is not close enough, her eyes are like stars, she is so beautiful and a classical beauty not forced, we are there and this is where it starts to hurt, she gets upset saying she is a bitch saying that she is confused about what she wants, now normally i would know if some one is putting it on and trust me when i say she is not she was really upset, saying she confused and im just to nice and she is the one who is normally in control, it freaked her out that i took control over breakfast but hey there you go, cut a long story short i leave, she texts me later in the day saying sorry and takecare, wow kind of guessed it was coming any way, but in the end we spoke later that night and had a good chat and cleared the air and agreed that we both had fun and both liked each other and agreed maybe to see each other again but not on the same level as the night before, for me this is fine i want to know the woman and see what may build, so we agree that i will text her tonight to say hi and see how she got on with her 85 mile bike ride today, so was very shocked when she texted me first, she clearly had been thinking about me, i text back she then text again.

my point is if she is not interested and does not want to know you would just say right, thanks but no thanks, but she has said that she will not be a stranger, im mean where do i stand, what do i do now, not that i have told her but she has broken my heart in a way, i am not the kind of bloke that jumps into bed on first date, this is not me and i dont sleep with people for the sake of it not the way i was brought up, i respect woman, there is more to this i know that she does not do this kind of thing all the time for several reason which i dont need to go into but she doesnt.

What do i do now, HELP, i am not in love with her but i do think people can fall in love very very quickly my parents did, i could see me falling for her in a big way and in a way i kind of did, and would have been happy to take things slowly to see how they might go.

I asked her not to hurt me, not to do this unless she was sure, i gave her a chance to say no, i even tried to put her of in a way to make sure this is what she wanted.

Though now i am confused, and dont know what to do, how do i make things right, who do i get the chance to see if things can grow with us.

Thanks for reading i needed to get this of my chest, and i look forward to any one that can help PLEASE

[smackie9]

Quite possibly she just got out of a relationship, is terribly lonely, and is still hooked emotionally on her ex. You could be a rebound where the passion is fast, furious and emotionally confusing.

If you want to make this right, stop banging her and see each other in public places, and don't let the texting get too hot and heavy. She sounds like she is a little out of control of what she is doing, so stop letting her call the shots...have some control over yourself too.

[Jason250]

Thanks for your post

[Jason278]

Good luck!

[Nice!!!!]

Thanks, not thought about it that way before and maybe you are right, will take on board...

Thanks again