Advice for a strange relationship

[blessings]

I met a friend online over 10 years ago. We have talked on the phone through college, relationships, divorce. ..you name it. I *think* I am in love with this man, but I cannot reconcile my feelings to my very logical mind. No one close to me knows about my secret penpal. I just want to know if anyone else has ever been in this situation and any thoughts from all of you. I never dated off the internet and never really met anyone like this. jw

[icey24]

why not? who knows he felt the same way too.. well I really can't tell if online relationship works but who knows.. I had fell inlove with my online friend too, we've been together for 1year and 5months.. it might have worked, if i didn't gave up on him. there's no harm on trying. hope this helps.

[qwerqwer]

If you're satisfied with him as a penpal, maintain the penpal status, if you meet him everything could change for the better or worse. Be honest about the penpal with those who need to know.

[jas0603]

Im pretty sure I know how you feel, with the difference that I know this man for a year only. But in any case if you two can meet somewhere, you should deffinitely do that. After all, 10 years is a really long period of time, Im sure you got to know him pretty well, and vice versa. I say go for it, if you are available, you have nothing to lose

[blessings]

thank you to all of you. It is a crazy feeling to have a bond with someone you do not technically know. The situation is not very clean either. I am still married. Yet, I would like to get to know him. I am afraid to meet him in a way because of the feelings I think I have for him and my marriage. Obviously if I had sibling like feelings for him, it would not matter. but I am afraid I feel more for him than I have ever felt for my husband.

[Boisdevie]

If you are thinking in this way then you need to resolve your marriage don't you think? That surely is the first step.

[shadowmoon]

thank you to all of you. It is a crazy feeling to have a bond with someone you do not technically know. The situation is not very clean either. I am still married. Yet, I would like to get to know him. I am afraid to meet him in a way because of the feelings I think I have for him and my marriage. Obviously if I had sibling like feelings for him, it would not matter. but I am afraid I feel more for him than I have ever felt for my husband.

Oh my God, we are in the same situation dear. Im married too, and I have this on-line friend whom I like much. It's pretty weird to feel that way towards him, but can't help it.
Anyway, does your penpal knows that you are married?

[blessings]

Yes he does! He knows everything about me. I think I know everything about him. Obviously I cannot be certain because he is not sitting in front of me....but we have always had this very open and nearly innocently relaxed relationship. How long have you talked with your penpal? Does he know you are married? I know this sounds crazy, but it is comforting to know someone has these crazy thoughts too!

[IndiReloaded]

I think you should be cautious. These online things are 'vapour' relationships. You don't really know each other, except what the other chooses to share and you lack the ability to reconcile what he says with what he does. That's extremely important for getting to know someone. There's a huge gap there and you are filling in the 90% that's missing with your 10-year fantasy of him.

Sorry. I know that's not what you wanted to read, but its most likely correct.

[IndiReloaded]

Yes he does! He knows everything about me. I think I know everything about him.

No, he doesn't know everything about you. But you are correct: you only *think* you know everything about him. This is the fantasy. You two sound like trolls, btw.

[vashti]

I bet he's old, impotent, and has hairy ears and nostrils. Go ahead and meet him.

[ikndqq]

Samething is happening with me, I've become friends with this incredible girl she doesn't live too far away, like 5 hours or so. We like each other, we've admited it we just want to see if we have chemistry if nothing happens it's all good we just remain friends... I just have a question, how can you talk to someone for 10 years and not run out of things to say?

[dshfj457]

support

[blessings]

I must say, I appreciate the very honest answers and comments. But I.must ask for clarification for one comment, what do you mean we sound like trolls?
As far as what we tall about- anything and everything. It has actually been a little longer than 10 years. We have spent numerous nights talking as yonu would any other "real" friend. Our topics have changed and developed over the years, but we have never stopped talking. We have never had sappy conversation s about love. we have just always talked about whatever is going on in our lives.

[Wakeup]

I must say, I appreciate the very honest answers and comments. But I.must ask for clarification for one comment, what do you mean we sound like trolls?
As far as what we tall about- anything and everything. It has actually been a little longer than 10 years. We have spent numerous nights talking as yonu would any other "real" friend. Our topics have changed and developed over the years, but we have never stopped talking. We have never had sappy conversation s about love. we have just always talked about whatever is going on in our lives.

What kind of a marriage do you have that you could talk so intimately with a man that you think you've developed feelings for him and your husband is clueless to this situation? 10 Years of conversations, really? How apathetic are you and your husband to one another that this emotional affair would go unnoticed by him?