Am I over thinking?

[lpalmer]

Basics are that I'm 21 he's 23.

I recently met a guy and we hit off straight away, we've known each other almost a month now, we were texting everyday, had a few skype calls together staying up till like 1am video calling, he admitted was telling me stuff that he hadn't told anyone before, like how his mum has depression and how it stresses him because its just him and his younger sister so he feels stressed looking after everyone but he feels so much better that he can talk to me, also saying how he's nervous about having a relationship again because he wouldn't want to be a letdown because he stresses and worries about his mum so much, I said that he is just looking out for his mum and I promised I would support him in anyway that I can. We both said how happy we were that we've met each other and he is just what i need after the year I've had with guys so far, since I've been cheated on and just left hanging. We met up bout two weeks ago now and spent the weekend together, nothing over the top, just pizza and a film and we talked all night, held hands and shared a few kisses. The next day when he left we were texting that night he was worried that I didn't like him but I re-assured him that I like him tons....
However since that weekend it just doesn't feel the same. The texting hasn't lasted as long, he says he hasn't had internet for these past weeks cos the bill wasn't paid, so we haven't talked properly on skype and with me being such an insecure person with the lowest self esteem in the world, it really doesn't help that I feel like he doesn't want to talk anymore. He text me friday night saying sorry that he hadn't been in touch and how it was a rubbish week for him and his mum was really down and that he had to go to hospital with her, which is perfectly understandable and he can take as much time as he needs if he wants to sort stuff out at home and i text him saying all that, telling him I'm here for him and if he wants time then take it. That was friday night and we haven't spoken since. I'm struggling to not text him and ask if he's okay, or if we are okay for that matter.

I've had friends saying text him and others saying don't contact him again till he replies, so i wanted to ask you guys.
I don't want to sound selfish in any way because I want him and his mum to be all good, but I feel like if we don't talk then he might forget about me, which I guess I'm ready for in a way cos i feel like thats whats going to happen, but its just going to suck major.

I dunno, maybe i'm over thinking it like always. I just need a guys point of view and if it was you in this situation, taking into account family problems too.

Thanks, Leandra

[Zigg1]

Hello, im one of the few that read ur post lol.

I am in the same boat with a girl i like, I believe that he has a lot of baggage to carry. You are second to his mother. i don't think he will forget about you, but since it is his mother that he is dealing with he will obviously put more attention towards her than you. He obviously is interested in you since he puts the time out to talk to you guys kissed its clear that he likes you, but hes got bigger problems to deal with and a relationship would be another burden on his chest.

I think he has a Lot going on in his life right now and since you have feelings for him and i know you cant let go of him, i believe that you should support him more as a "friend" than a girlfriend for now and help him get through what hes going through.

I myself have this problem with the girl i like, but she is going through a lot right now and as much as it hurts to not tell her how i feel, i believe that for her best interest i should be there for her as a friend more than anything else right now. And at times she will be a bit ignoring and yes it does bother me, but i remember what shes going through and that i shouldn't over think things.

I have texted her a few days ago and we were talking a lot and then she suddenly started to give me short answers, which did piss me off but then she told me that she has things to do and cant reply so often. she knows that shes been giving me these shitty answers but subliminally told me that day, why.

Now the past few days have been really rough for me, working long hours, Pending termination at work, school piling up, exam coming soon, me not being ready for it, being ticketed, its been a shitty week for me. I instantly stopped talking to people and just spending time by myself trying to deal with this weight on my shoulders. I have not been in this much stress since high school. She texted me saying "LOL someone is pissed" and i usually reply right away, but i was so tired and troubled i texted like 3 hours later, not because i wanted to give her payback, but because the shit im dealing with was more important, if you know what i mean.

With the mood im in right now, i really dont want to talk to anyone, but deal with my problems first. And i feel that the guy you like is in the same position as the girl i like. Its nothing personal, its just that we need to take care of other things that are pulling us down before we try to move on.


life is a LONG road with many deep holes that we can blindly fall into, give him the support he needs, give him his space when you feel like he needs it. Hes in a deep hole right now and he needs to climb his way out before you can hold his hand and help him move forward.

[Jason521]

Thanks for your post