New love and old love

[MsKitty]

Hello,
So I'm here for an outsider's unbiased opinion because my friends are not helping me. First you should know that I'm a 27 year old female and my clock is ticking. I was in a relationship with a beautiful, amazing woman for the last 5 years... We had a great relationship however, in the end I felt stuck because she Courtney (name changed) was not ready to move any future in the relationship because she was not sure if she wanted to be with a woman for the rest of her life. However, I made it clear that she was he only one for me and I wanted to marry her. For a portion of those 5 years I was just waiting on her to figure out what she wanted to do. We decided to date other people until we (she) figured out what she wanted. It took about a year before I finally found anyone worth dating, and he is awesome... Shawn and I have been dating for just 4 months and I really like him. He treats me like a queen and is genuinely proud to be in a relationship with me. He makes me feel wanted and special, not as if I was on Courtney's layaway plan. My main issue with shawn is that he has Children, 3 children (ages 2, 5, & 7) .... Only one of which he has joint coustody. This is a problem because I don't have any children... I planned on doing things the "right way"/a more traditional way, however, I am accepting of his children. Now my delima is Courtney now wants to express how much she loves me and that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. This is what I wanted but I don't want give into her nor do I want to give up this new relationship that I'm enjoying. I'm afraid that I may be missing out on my opportunity to be with the girl of my dreams. What's a girl to do?

[andy1981]

What are your feeling towards Courtney now? Have they changed at all since you started your new relationship? Seeing that you have spent the last 5 years waiting for her, do you think the wait would be worth it in the end? Maybe its a case of "the grass is greener on the other side"?

You need to follow your heart but at the same time, listen with your head. Good luck

[vashti]

There's a saying "you can never go home again".... Aside from that, I don't know about the girl thing (I can't imagine giving up the feel of a man for the rest of my life), but I know a lot about kids, and I don't think you should be involved with other people's kids until you have some of your own, unless you are older.

[Mathias]

First you should know that I'm a 27 year old female and my clock is ticking.

I think this isolates your problem.

You're 27. You're incredibly young, yet you're putting this ridiculous pressure on yourself to settle down. When you're forcing yourself to do that - you have a much better chance of screwing things up, since you'll turn a blind eye to any problems a person might have.

Relax, enjoy life, and meet the right person when they come to you.

[haxan]

If you're lesbian, why on earth do you feel your your clock is ticking?

[MaidenMinx]

If you're lesbian, why on earth do you feel your your clock is ticking?

Firstly, being a lesbian doesn't exclude a person from wanting to be a parent. Secondly, she never said she was a lesbian.

[MsKitty]

What are your feeling towards Courtney now? Have they changed at all since you started your new relationship? Seeing that you have spent the last 5 years waiting for her, do you think the wait would be worth it in the end? Maybe its a case of "the grass is greener on the other side"?

You need to follow your heart but at the same time, listen with your head. Good luck

My feelings for Courtney have not changed a bit.. I still love her just as much. Now I feel like it's time to give someone else a chance. It's almost as if she took me for granted and thought I'd never leave in hopes of marrying her.
I definitely need to use my head more than my heart.
Thank you for your response!

[MsKitty]

There's a saying "you can never go home again".... Aside from that, I don't know about the girl thing (I can't imagine giving up the feel of a man for the rest of my life), but I know a lot about kids, and I don't think you should be involved with other people's kids until you have some of your own, unless you are older.

You have a great point!
Seeing that this is the first man I've been sexual with since my "first" 9 years ago... I'm actually enjoying it.

[MsKitty]

I think this isolates your problem.

You're 27. You're incredibly young, yet you're putting this ridiculous pressure on yourself to settle down. When you're forcing yourself to do that - you have a much better chance of screwing things up, since you'll turn a blind eye to any problems a person might have.

Relax, enjoy life, and meet the right person when they come to you.

You're right! If I could stop expecting things to go as planned I would be just fine. I know that the time is right, I just need to stop rushing it. However, I do believe I have 2 great candidates...But hey, who knows!

Thank you for your response!

[haxan]

Secondly, she never said she was a lesbian.

What terminology do you use to describe a woman in an intimate 5 yr relationship with another woman? I think lesbian is appropriate. You seem to think it's a negative description or slang.