How come guys are so naive to a womans interest in them?

[JosephineJ]

When a nice looking girl walks into the room, why do guys stare? I know it makes me feel uncomfortable.
How do guys show an interest in a woman? I find that a woman needs to be direct in letting a guy know she is interested, how can a girl be direct without telling him she "likes" him or asking him for a coffee or phone number? For example how does a woman encourage a man to lead or pursue her?
Also how do you flirt with a woman and if you are in a relationship, do you flirt with your gf or wife?
Thanks guys

[VincenzoG91]

I don't stare when a nice-looking woman walks into the room. I try to act like I have seen it all before. I glance that way, then look elsewhere. Then occasionally look over that way again once in a while. If I'm not planning to hit on her that's it. Otherwise, I try to meet eyes with her and give her a smile, then go over and talk to her in a bit.

Yes, a woman needs to be at least slightly direct to let a guy know she is interested. Men tend to think about things in clear, direct terms. Women try to make things too subtle and complicated and guys just don't catch on easily. I read about a study once involving MRI scans. They would ask people questions and see which parts of their minds would light up with activity on the scans. Just before a guy would answer a question, there tended to be just one section of the brain that would get active. Probably the section of his brain where relevant information was stored. Women's brains would light up all over, like they were connecting all kinds of information to that specific question, both relevant and irrelevant info. Anyway, a woman can encourage a guy by asking him questions about himself and dropping a hint or two that she isn't currently in a relationship. One way would be to make some comment about his girlfriend and see how he reacts. If he is a decent guy, he will mention that he's married or dating someone. If he isn't decent, you might catch a telling moment of hesitation before he lies about his relationship status.

I flirt with a women with a mixture of attention and flattery. Not too much, just enough to show some interest. If she isn't interested, a woman will tend to drop a heavy hint, like suddenly mentioning a boyfriend or husband while answering a question.

Sometimes I randomly flirt with my girlfriend if the moment seems right, and sometimes I do it when I'm trying to get her in the mood for sex.

[Esther52]

Thanks for your post.

[CAM]

An old saying, "The art of pursuit: a woman running away just fast enough to catch their man." In other words, women set the pace and show interest and men sense it and usually stumble into a good relationship (as much as they'd like to pretend that they got the girl..the girl got them!).

All those men staring...it is biology. They are all looking to see if you are interested in them.

I worked on a farm for years and farm animals are just like humans (because we are animals, too). The bulls and the rams and the roosters...they respond to females who show that they are "ready." When the male shows that he sees their sign, then the mating game comences...the female takes symbolic flight but essentially draws the male away from other females.

Sexually, men are lazy creatures. If a woman doesn't show that she's interested in them in any way, then the normal men (at least) move on to easier pickings. That doesn't mean being "easy" or "available." Show that you are interested but make him feel like it was a "pursuit" that he won (we know that he didn't win, he was taken).

[CAM]

And, some men are naive to signs of interest because : a) they aren't interested in you; b) they have someone else; c) they are socially immature.

[JosephineJ]

Show that you are interested but make him feel like it was a "pursuit" that he won (we know that he didn't win, he was taken).

How do woman make a man feel like it was a "pursuit" that he won? Asking him out for a coffee or lunch would be pursuing him, giving a guy your phone number is too forward, so what does a woman do to indicate that she is interested without scaring a guy off or going to quick? Does the speed of the relationship matter to men?

[TeeJay19]

Throw some compliments his way, make sure he knows your single, make eye contact, initiate physical contact (a simple touch of the arm or shoulder is all it takes). These are all ways to let a guy know you're interested.

And in this day and age I don't think there's anything wrong with the girl being the one to pursue either. You don't have to flat out say you like him, just suggest that the two of you hang out sometime. Some guys might disagree, saying they like the chase, but I think the vast majority of guys wouldn't have any problem with it.

[loveagain]

Good advice from the other guys here. Of course, I'm in CAM's category 3, socially immature

Communicate with him - talking, texting, or whatever - just enough so he knows that you are interested in him, or have interests in common, and that you are available (but not necessarily ready to jump into anything, just that the possibility is there.) If the interest is mutual, he will take over and start initiating communication with you. Of course, that's from my limited experience, that may not go for most guys.

[JamesWS]

Thanks for your post.