How do I get her back!

[Adri17n]

In April whilst out in a bar with some friends, a beautiful lady from across the room caught my eye. We kept looking at each other, I smiled at her and she smiled at me. Eventually we both ended up at the bar ordering drinks at the same time and plucked up the courage to speak to each other. From then on we spent the rest of the night speaking to each other. We were getting on so well and we clicked immediately because we had so much in common, to be honest it felt as if we had known each other for a lifetime. We got on so well that we exchanged numbers and arrange to go out for a date/drinks the following weekend. Before,we went our separate ways she asked me how old I was. I responded that I was 22, and when I asked her how old she was, she responded by saying that she would tell me how old she was after our date but that she had a 14 year old daughter and older son. (She looked around 28-30)

We live around 35 miles apart, so we would contact each other through text messages and sometimes calls. In fact we contacted each other everyday like that when we were apart just so that we knew each other was ok. So the day of our date arrived, we went for a drink and something to eat and again we got on
so well and there were never any awkward silences. After that date we shared our first kiss and both admitted to each other that we had fallen for one another. I was so lovestruck that I forgot to even ask how old she was, but tbh by this point that didn't even matter.

Since that day, every weekend without fail we have spent the weekend together. I stayed at her house, met her daughter etc and everything just felt so
perfect and right. I got on with her daughter etc. She had told her mum and her friends about me and everybody was really happy for her etc, although I had picked up that she was really worried about what her son might think. Suddenly this Tuesday he turned up at the house and demanded to speak to her (her son dosen't live with her anymore). He was pretty emotional and basically said that he couldn't handle her dating a younger guy. It was embarrassing, disgusting and all of his friends were making fun out of him for it. Additionally, he told his mum that she should be ashamed of herself. He gave her an ultimatum, either she dumps me or he will never speak to or see her again.

So this lady was totally honest and upfront with me and said that she was sorry but it had to end. She was really distraught etc as she really really liked me,
but there was no chance that her son was going to come around to the idea and she couldn't jepordise loosing him. (Note that her son has never met me). She
also revealed that she was in fact 41 and her son was 4 months older than me. She said that we would remain good friends for life etc. Since that day on
Tuesday, she hasn't stopped messaging me asking how I am, what am I doing etc. I told her how I feel and that I wouldn't speak about the issue anymore and I respect her decision. I know that she feels the same way and she still loves me etc but there's nothing either of us can do. I don't wanna keep messaging her
because I will seem needy, but then I don't want to back off too much because it will seem like I'm not interested and have moved on.

I was/still am pretty upset about everything and cant't get her off my mind. It seems so stupid that a relationship should fail because of silly assumptions etc I mean her Son hasn't even met me! So what do I do? Is this a lost cause and should I just by my time for abit, keep and see if he/she comes around? I would be
grateful for any advice.

[Boisdevie]

It's a shitty situation but she was not exactly honest with you was she - perhaps she forgot to tell you her age and the age of her son. Perhaps you were stupid to assume certain things. Since she's nearly twice your age I'd leave her alone - there must be some very nice young ladies your own age.