We still have feelings, but he's scared. What to do, please help!

[ily_alot]

Hi there!
My boyfriend (who's 10 years older than me) and I have always been very happy in our relation. Beeing with him feels like coming home, I can see myself a future with him and I was never so happy and in love with someone before. He feels like "the guy". And he also told me that he never thought to be so happy/in love... Everything felt/feels right and beeing together is just so beautiful! Never expierienced any problems or stuff. We just match so good!

But last week he told me that the last week/two weeks he constantly worries about the future and the risk of being together. He said it wasn't about me in person, but that he was scared to take risks at 'his age' (almost 29). He also said he doesn't want me to forget him, and that I haven't lost him. He just needs time and space to think. And that he still has strong feelings for me and feels good when we're together. But at the same time he broke up, bacause he finds it difficult to be in a relationship while having those worries, and said that he isn't the end of the world. That I don't have to say that he means a lot to me and put it out of my head and see what the future brings. And this confuses me and scares me. He tells me to move on, right? But he still has feelings for me? He also told me that he maybe uses his head too much, and that stuff would be easier if he just trusted his heart and feelings, but he's a rational person who hates ignoring his head.

So yes, I don't know what to do. He asked to meet next friday (the day after tomorrow!) and to keep contact (texting). At this point I totally don't know what to do. Since we know each other, we flirted a lot, and I can't remember sending 'normal' messages to each other or not looking in each others eyes, even when we were "just friends". Sending normal messages right now is just awkward, but sending jokes or flirting seems wrong. The conversations (from his part) are just "how are your exams going?", "text me after your exams", "are you feeling better already?" and stuff like that. I answer, and sometimes ask a question myself, but for me it's very difficult to know how to behave. What can I say and what not? He asked how I was doing, so I asked him the same, but never got a reply. So that's too much, right? Yesterday evening he was texting me about my school results while I was watching a television show of a singer he likes. When I texted him back (around 5.30PM) I said at the end of the message "And guess what I'm watching right now! ". I thought he would totally ignore it, but at the middle of the night I got a message back to say that he was going to sleep, and to wish me goodluck today... And a guess about the tv show! I was so happy! But didn't reply until this afternoon, cause I didn't want to look desperate, and wanted him to miss me at least a little bit. If he texts back - I guess after work at 5PM or after his band repetition around 11PM - then what do I have to do? Still make jokes? Try to take it a bit further? I know he fell in love with me because of the jokes, the teasing, looking in each others eyes for ours, the jokes about "how fantastic I am" and hours and hours laughing. And because I'm a very sweet and caring person (his words ). But I don't know if it will work this time, cause he still has (strong) feelings - at least that's what he says. And how to act friday? Brr, I don't know!

We were so happy (and tbh I still am while talking of being together), we have strong feelings, we feel good while beeing together,... And one of his friends told me that he wanted me already long before I knew it. He was already a year wanting me and hoping something before we got together. And then we were so ****ing happy. And then he got scared and confused. But still has feelings. And I want him back. And I don't know how to act friday and how to react on the situation and the messages. Cause I also want to give him his time. But I also want to show him I'll be there for him. I don't know how to act friday. Flirt and show him I still want to go for it? Or give him the time he asked for, although he asked me out, and stay calm and do nothing special.

Can someone say what's the best to do in this situation? No contact is difficult, we already have a date and he asked me not to forget him, and to stay in touch. But what kind of contact is the right contact? What can I do and say and what not?

Thanks in advance

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Cut this down to 1/4 the size, and you will get responses. Otherwise, no ones reading this shit.

[ily_alot]

Sorry! I made it shorter now

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Cancel the date. Tell him not to contact you unless he's sure he wants to continue the relationship.


Really, he knows that you're so young that you won't stay with him, no matter how much you love him now.