Completely Unclear...

[Yozhik]

So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months, but I've recently run into something that's made me question it all.
She's a really lovely girl, and we get along amazingly, great sense of humour, we basically never argue, and our sex life is really good. So on the surface I look at it and think we have a really good relationship.

However, I got badly hurt by another girl not too long before going out with my current gf, so I was having a few trust issues. I decided to have a peek at her phone while knowing I shouldn't, and found one of her fb messages to a friend of hers that really left me in doubt about her. Her friend is an old guy friend she goes to to get things off her chest, like work etc...
But she's been telling him all sorts of dodgy stuff about us - apparently I'm not her type, she's not sure anout her sexual attraction to me (although she said she likes me anyway), she has dreams about cheating with other guys, that kind of thing...
In person, she's the complete opposite and makes no secret of wanting to be together, and she tells me she loves me - it really feels genuine when she says it. But it's her confessions to her friend that feel like the truth.

So what should I do? It seems like we should split up, I dont want to get screwed over again, but I dont really know how to approach the subject. I cant just tell her I read her messages, but if I just break up with no reason that's no good either...

[Cerulean.]

I used to go out with a guy with severe trust issues and used to check my phone every morning while I was "still sleeping". It got so bad that he'd snoop through my email on my computer (it was all ready signed in) and search my documents, etc. I dumped him.

So for your situation... dump her, and quit snooping. Someday you're going to find a trusting girl and then she'll dump you from your insecurities.

[Yozhik]

Aside from my trust/insecurity issues, I dont really need to be with someone who isnt attracted to me and dreams of being with other guys. So I guess I'm planning to break up with her, but what is the best way to go about it?

[searock]

Sometimes I also feel like maybe I'm not *that* attracted to my bf and wonder if he's really the one for me. It doesn't mean that I don't love him, and it's mostly just moments of confusion/sadness that disappear once I see him. It doesn't happen often, just if I'm stressed out by a fight with him or by something else in my life that doesn't regard our relationship, and even then, not all the times. Maybe it's the same thing with your gf. Rather than thinking about what she wrote, pay attention to the way she acts. It shows if she's attracted to you. That's what counts, not what she questions herself about. Btw, it's perfectly common to have dreams about sleeping with persons other than your partner, you can't control dreams.

[zaccarus]

If you have had issues trusting your current girlfriend at this stage then you need to leave her. I would suggest you stay single for a bit and work through your issues over trust and then when they have been put to bed look for love again & hopefully you will find somebody who is worthy of your trust.