dont know what to do

[aleksandra]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. And I have completely fallen deeply in love with him. But during that time I've acted like a complete bitch to me not because he deserved any of it, I just didn't know how to handle my emotions. I regret everything I've done, and I just know people can change since I'm experiencing this myself. And this is my first go at real love, i just didnt know how to minimize my emotions.I have apologized a million times which he does appreciate and I've dropped that bitchy side of me, and now have a more lighter side which he says he loves.
I have been living with him and its been great. Its how a couple should live, no tension, no fighting, just easy go lucky. But because of everything I have done he always seems to be saying two different things, one is more consistent than the other. He will say that he loves me, he wants to be with me, I'm like family to him, I've really become apart of him and them he will say things like he doesn't care, that I'm right he will end up with someone else. And I just don't know what to do, what do I believe? Because of him saying two different things all the time, I need constant reassurance which annoyed him. And I can understand why he gets annoyed because I ask the same questions over and over again. I know me acting this way doesn't help but this is how I feel. Am I wrong? Should I just pretend to be happy and have faith in us?
he says he does eventually want to take a break, just so he can forget about that old me and then start a new relationship with a brand new me. He even wants/i want to change my hair just so it's easier for him to see me in a different light.
Anyway i just really needs a guy opinion. How is he feeling? Is this normal for him to have two emotions because he just mad at me and he really just needs time to get over it?

[smackie9]

OK settle down. You are inexperienced at what is needed to make a relationship last for the long haul. First off, everyone emotionally crazy at the beginning of a new relationship. It's called the honeymoon phase, where you are falling in love and you get obsessive with the person. This lasts for about 6 months to a year and a half, but it does pass. When this phase is over you see what you are left with. Usually you are at a point where you have left your friends and social life for this person, you are living together which gives you no space, so little things start to get on each others nerves, little spats start up, and doubt about staying together can also set in.....feeling of being trapped. To prevent this you both need to have a life outside the relationship. Go spend a weekend a girl friends place, go out clubbing or just hang out with "your" friends, let him go hang out with his buddies, play sports or go to the bar.....you both need to do your own thing. Having time apart is crucial to keeping things fresh. Here's a thing about guys...they do like variety. That's why they like to indulge in porn, and checking out other girls. You want to keep him interested? You need to keep altering your looks. Nothing drastic but putting up your hair, wearing a different style of clothing, you know, just change it up. Also guys like to see their girl take up new interests or hobbies.......it gives you independence (which they like), confidence, builds character, and gives you more substance. These are positive changes he is looking for. It's true guys are not exceptional at expressing their feelings because they are visual beings unlike us emotional beings. So his happiness is based on how your present yourself and your life to him. I'm not pulling this stuff out of my ass....this is from men writing in (articles) and expressing their opinions on topics such as this.