wandering eyes

[xoxoxo]

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. he has told me that women are his weakness. for some people it's drugs, alcohol, ... etc whatever. for him, it's women. He says he can't help looking at other women. he tries not to look at them like that, and has even prayed that he stops. He says he still loves me so much, and i am the only woman for him. I told him it makes me feel like i have to constantly compete with other women. he said i dont, and that i was overreacting (becuase i was getting upset). i asked him what would happen if some sexy secretary tried to get in his pants late one night at work, and he said he would never cheat because he was married. and even now he wouldn't cheat because he is taken.

I took this to mean that i'm not good enough for him. I don't look at any other guy. Yes, i can tell if another guy is good looking or not. but i haven't been attracted to another guy since i've been with him. it hurts me to know he's still looking at other girls. it's one thing for him to look at girls, and recognize if one is good looking or not. but when he said "look at them like that", i feel like he looks at them in a sexual way. Do you guys think so ? I love everything else about him, and we have a great relationship. this is the only thing that bothers me. I used to be so confident, but now this makes me uneasy especially since he flirts. he says he doesn't know when he flirts, because he has that type of charming personality. but i'm sure he can tell. is this normal for guys ? to look at other girls like that ? could that be considered mentally cheating ? or do guys not think that mentally cheating is a real thing ?

[Boisdevie]

Men look at other women. It might shock you but women also check out men.
BUT there's a big difference between looking at someone and flirting with them.

[surfhb]

I don't look at any other guy. Yes, i can tell if another guy is good looking or not. but i haven't been attracted to another guy since i've been with him.

Huh? You dont look at guys but you can tell if hes good looking? Whats the difference?

All men look at other women...were hard wired to be this way for obvious reason that there are 7 billion people on the planet

Mentally cheating? I sure hope you are 15 years old! Jeesh!

Just relax....he says he loves you

[searock]

I can see the difference between looking at someone and tell if they're good looking, and looking at someone "that way". It's normal, both for men and women, to keep looking at people "that way" even when they're in a relationship. As long as he doesn't *flirt* with other women, as Boisdevie said, there's nothing to be worried about. It's normal to "mentally cheat", to have fantasies, to dream about other people. As long as it doesn't become a fixation on someone in particular, it's just a normal part of anyone's sexuality. If he does it constantly while he's with you, that's just downright rude and you have the right to tell him to stop. But it might be fun to look around for attractive girls and be the first to point them out to him. Turn it into a game into which you are involved - he can point out attractive guys for you.